with Aliza Sherman
If you own a business - home-based or otherwise - this is the blog where you'll find practical tips and smart ideas about entrepreneurship. I've started and run 4 different businesses so "been there, done that." I'll also invite successful entrepreneurs to share their best advice with you.
To learn more about Aliza, check out her profile on Work It, Mom! and her website, www.mediaegg.com.
The other day, I was traveling on business but brought my daughter because my husband had meetings and other plans. I offered to take the responsibility of childcare because…well, it just keeps happening that way because of age-old gender roles no matter how much I try to resist them.
I’ve found an excellent daycare in this particular city that takes “drop-ins” which is the most amazing service ever invented for working women who sometimes travel with their kids. So I dropped my daughter off at this new place, anxious to get started on my work, and as I got ready to leave, she wrapped her arms around my legs. I felt a wave of mommy-ness, and it was overwhelming.
My eyes welled up with tears.
“She’ll be okay,” said one of the women at the daycare.
“I know she will,” I said as I left trying to make sure my daughter didn’t see my tears.
Then I sat in the parking lot for a few minutes, trying not to cry. Every once in a while I have that mommy feeling.
But behind the emotions of leaving her in a new place with total strangers is another feeling of total and utter relief. Finally, I can shake off the mommy role and get into work mode.
I love work mode. I love the way my brain functions when I’m working. I love writing, creating things, getting things done. I love the space and time to concentrate without interruptions.
While some women say they feel guilty about leaving their child at daycare, I don’t. Other than that momentary “oh no, she’s shy and afraid” protective feeling, I simply love breaking away and being away. On business trips, I do miss her and hope she is safe and happy at all times, but I don’t miss her constant chatter and demands on my time and attention.
I don’t ever want anything bad to happen to her. But if I could afford it, I’d want to hire a full-time nanny.
Call me selfish, call me a terrible mommy, but I envy my husband for his ability to leave for work, get work done, come home and not feel obligated to provide or arrange for child care. Don’t get me wrong - he is a very engaged father, and I make very heavy demands on him to take over child watching when he gets home. But he, like so many other men, just take it for granted that all child-related duties will be handled by the woman.
And no matter how I try to resist it, child care and the arranging of alternate care under just about every circumstance still falls to me. Hubby does thank me for my efforts, but when I talk about investing in a babysitter a few evenings a week so he and I can spend time together or do our own thing, he balks at the expense. He’d never go for my full-time nanny idea, that’s for sure.
So I just sit on the fence between being a high-powered Internet executive and mom to a 4-year-old and jump to either side as needed, with the other always pulling me, pulling me, pulling me back.
What side of the fence do you sit on?
Subscribe to blog via RSS