In the same vein as my Dishes Be Damned post, I have a little more venting to do.
A certain husband doesn’t realize that he doesn’t really think my company is as “important” as his job. He insists that yes, it is JUST as important, however, then he says things that lead me to believe that he just isn’t in touch with what he really thinks about my company.
He says that our jobs are equally as important but different.
“Do you have to go to the office each day, clock in on a timeclock, record your time and get it approved by your boss…?”
“So because I don’t have to punch a timeclock, my business is not a real job???” I practically scream.
He acknowledges that yes, my business is a real job but “it’s just different.”
This all started when he didn’t like the way I told him today that I’ll be going on several business trips to conferences and speaking engagements. He would prefer that I be more courteous in my approach.
My approach was asking him if we could synchronize our schedule and discuss how we’ll handle toddler care for some trips I have scheduled. As we reviewed our calendars, I was saying “I’ll be in Chicago on this date and then Denver on this.”
He didn’t like the way I was saying it. It wasn’t courteous.
“Well, how do you want me to say it?”
“It would be more courteous if you said ‘I’d like to go to this conference in Chicago,’” he explained.
“What?!? Do I actually have to ask your permission to go??!?”
“No, of course not! You don’t have to ask me permission. It is just more courteous to say it that way,” he replied.
“Then why don’t you say it that way to me? Why don’t you say ‘I’d like to go to this training in such and such’?” I retorted.
“Because I don’t have a choice. I don’t have a choice about going to trainings. They are required for my job,” he replied.
“So let me get this straight. It is better if I let you know about things I have on my schedule by prefacing with ‘I’d like to go…’ but you don’t have to tell me about your trips by saying ‘I’d like to go…’ because YOUR trips are REQUIRED while mine are OPTIONAL?!?”
He kept insisting that our jobs are different. HE is required to do things for his jobs but in the case of my company, since I’m the boss, I’m NOT required to do these speaking engagements or attend these conferences.
Then he added his other foot into his mouth to join the one that was already firmly planted there.
“How would you like me to say to you ‘I’m going hunting’ instead of ‘I’d like to go hunting?’” he offered.
“What?!? So now you are comparing my company, my BUSINESS, to a hunting trip? Hunting is a hobby, an optional thing, not a required thing like a COMPANY!”
“But hunting IS required for my mental health and physical well being. Getting out there is very important to me,” he reasoned.
“But you are comparing my COMPANY, my BUSINESS, to a HUNTING TRIP?!?”
Did he not know when to quit?
He insisted that he wasn’t comparing my company to his hunting trip,s but that it was only common courtesy for a spouse to phrase an upcoming event as “I’d like to go…”
“Then why don’t YOU also use that phrase? I’m YOUR spouse. Don’t you think YOU should be using the same phrase you are asking ME to use?” I demanded.
“Because I don’t have a choice about going on these business trips. They are REQUIRED of me,” he replied.
“So you can say to me ‘I have to go to…’ but I must say ‘I’d like to go to…’, is THAT what you are saying?”
“It’s only common courtesy,” he explained.
“It is a F-ING double standard!! From now on, I want YOU to say ‘I’d like to go to this required training’ and see how YOU like it. My business trips and speaking engagements are just as important as your required trainings!” I insisted.
“I do think they are important, honey. They’re just DIFFERENT.”
Will you please join me in a very loud and gutteral ARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHH!!
Is it just me or does your spouse/partner/family still think your home-based business or company is something that is less important than their REAL jobs?