with Britt Reints
Forget the 9 to 5; Full Time, All the Time is a blog about the mobile working life - when you have the freedom to work from anywhere and the responsibility of always having your smartphone turned on. Britt Reints works as a freelance writer while traveling fulltime in an RV with her husband and two kids. She explores balancing real-life bills with an unconventional work life, and finding time to maintain relationships with family and friends.
You can also find Britt at InPursuitOfHappiness.net.
Categories: balance, break from reality, mommy guilt, office life, the juggle, working mom
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Today I am heading out of the office to an all day team building event. The VP of our organization invited the entire project team to her home for a day of kayaking on the Russian River. We’ve all been working incredibly hard on this project. And I am thrilled that my VP is recognizing us with a day to hang out, bond, and spend sometime outside during work hours. Pretty cool, huh?
We’ve all spent countless hours in front of our laptops. We’ve all lost time with our families, nights, and weekends to ensure that we were successful. It’s wonderful to get appreciated for the hard work. It’s great that we get to go outdoors and do something healthy. I’ve never had a VP who opens her home up, offers a bed for everyone to sleep in, homemade meals, and a relaxing time on a river. It almost sounds too good to be true.
I’m trying hard not to sabotage the day by feeling more pangs of guilt for missing another day with my son. I’ve lost so much time with him over the last month due to this demanding project. I’ve tried not to choke on the guilt. So it’s a little hard to be totally excited about getting to spend another day with my team. It only means another day without my son.
I’m sure that when I’ll get there I’ll have a great time. It’s moments like these that are the best for networking. I’ll get lots of 1:1 time with influential people in my organization all wrapped up into a fun, informal day. It would be downright foolish of me to pass up the opportunity.
I know that participating in today’s events that I am doing what’s best for my career today. But it’s hard not to question if what I am doing is right for my family… Mommy guilt is like toxic waste. It’s going to do its best to try to ruin my day. And I’m going to do my best to ignore it. Nothing is going to stand in the way of my good time.
Except for my terrible kayak skills. But I only have myself to blame on that one.
I actually don’t see this sort of “reward” as valuable. If the company is willing to give employees a free pass on the day then I want to spend it with my family. I spend a lot of time at work already. If you want to reward me, give me a vacation day, a bonus, a free lunch…something other than asking me to spend MORE TIME with work people.
I think team bonding is really important and spending time socially with co-workers can be beneficial…just don’t present it as a reward for a job well done. I find that I’m often asked to make time for social events after hours and on weekends - and even take overnight trips for “team-building.”
It’s really just more work. I’d rather be at home.
A. | July 25th, 2008 at 8:21 am
Hi Robyn-
I think your guilt is a sign that you are a great mom. How can you not feel guilty about a day of fun out on the water, away from your son? But you have to remember to keep things in perspective — and think what your son, if he were 15 years older, would say to you. He would tell you to go –that you had worked too hard not to get the reward everyone else on the teams gets.
Sabrina | July 25th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Dude, I feel ya. Hope things cool down soon once this project is over. Time with your kid is priceless!
Susan Jackson | July 26th, 2008 at 7:45 am
Hi, Karen and Robyn. I know too well what you mean. I have been a stay at home mom for the past 7 years. My 2 girls were used to having me all to themselves. Until, one day not long ago, my sister and myself decided to open up our own home based travel agency. As you can imagine mommy is no longer available 24/7. There are many times I question this decision. But, then I realize that they are my reason and thrive. Mommies can do alot more than make empanadas (my girls favorite) and homework. We can also squeeze in a business. So, when you feel that ugly head creeping up again just remember who you’re doing it for. And, make the time you do have together unforgettable.
Jessica | July 27th, 2008 at 10:40 pm
Enjoy your day off — sounds like you deserve it, and you’re lucky to have a boss that rewards hard work.
With that said — I agree with A. I’d rather get a day off — than a day with the work folks. But then again you really don’t get to choose your gifts.
Don’t feel guilty!
bloggingmom67 | July 29th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
First, don’t feel guilty. You earned the break — your family will be fine.
You’re lucky to work at a place that rewards hard work.
That said, I agree with A: If it were me, I’d rather a reward that didn’t involving hanging out with the work crowd. But then again, you really can’t pick you gifts.
bloggingmom67 | July 29th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
I agree with the first poster. While it’s very generous of your VP to open up her home to reward her team in this way, it shows a disregard for the sacrifices you and others have made by investing so many hours in this project. I would attend because I would feel that I needed to for my career, but I’d feel resentful about yet another day away from my children.
krisc | July 29th, 2008 at 4:24 pm