Full Time, All the Time
with Britt Reints
Forget the 9 to 5; Full Time, All the Time is a blog about the mobile working life - when you have the freedom to work from anywhere and the responsibility of always having your smartphone turned on. Britt Reints works as a freelance writer while traveling fulltime in an RV with her husband and two kids. She explores balancing real-life bills with an unconventional work life, and finding time to maintain relationships with family and friends.
You can also find Britt at InPursuitOfHappiness.net.
For about 95% of my childhood, my father was an executive at a large Fortune 500 company. He was sort of the stereotypical corporate dad: he left in his suit and tie every morning, returned in the evening, often just barely making it home in time for the dinner my mom prepared for our family. He took long business trips to far away places. He did this every day until he retired, eight years ago.
And he loved every minute of it.
I know this, because even now, even eight years into retirement, he finds ways to continue his work. He consults for large companies. He teaches management training courses. He still travels all over the world, and many days, he still makes it home just in time for dinner. There isn’t a doubt in my mind that my father was passionate about his job his entire career.
My mother, incidentally, was the same: although she wasn’t a corporate executive, she was a schoolteacher. She tells me that she always knew she would be a teacher, and remembers being 6 years old and setting up “classrooms” with her dolls, when all of her friends wanted to play mommy-and-baby. As soon as my sister and I were old enough to go to school, my mother went back to teaching, and taught in some form or fashion up until her late 60’s. She was unequivocally passionate about teaching.
And as for me? Well, if I could describe how I feel about practicing law in one word, it would be as follows:
Meh.
Law’s just not a passion of mine. Oh sure, I can do it — and have done it, in fact, for about 14 years. But for me, practicing law is a job. It pays the bills. But lately, I’ve been wondering: which is actually more beneficial to my daughter? Is it important that she grow up seeing her parents passionate about their life’s work, or is it more crucial that she understand the dedication and responsibility that comes with providing for your family — and therefore, this responsibility sometimes means doing the job you’re trained to do and do it well, whether or not the work is something you’re passionate about?
How about you: do you work to live, or do you live to work?
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Good question! I think really it’s kind of a combo of both. Someday (and some phases of my career) my job is just a job and I see it as a responsibility to my family to make the money that provides for us. Other days and phases - WOW! I am very driven by the passion to go to work everyday (and even working late into the night)!
I think the natural ups and downs are good for kids to see because they are experiencing the same things at school and, eventually, at work as well. Enjoy the highs from working on things you are passionate about! And know that those days aren’t generally every day so grunt through the days when it’s boring and tedious (or crazy and unstructured – whatever it is that is not an ideal work environment!)
Curiosity questions for you – did you feel pressure to find something that you were as passionate about as your parents? Do you feel ‘meh’ about law because you don’t feel as excited about it as you feel your parents are excited about their careers?
Kate | September 10th, 2008 at 10:00 am
Kate –
That’s a great question. While my mom was someone who encouraged us to discover our own interests and passions (”be whatever you truly want to be,” she said), my father, while saying that, definitely actively guided my sister and I into corporate careers (”You want to be a linguist? No, no, no, no money in that How about engineering?”). I did, in fact, do engineering, and when I decided being an engineer wasn’t enough, I went to law school. But neither were ever jobs about which I felt naturally drawn to do.
Got a great education, though.
K.
karenwalrond | September 10th, 2008 at 10:05 am
Oh, what a great topic, I could write an essay:) (promise, I won’t.)
Right now, I LOVE, I LURVE as Woody Allen would say, what I do. It is all passion. Sure, there are parts I hate — the raising of money, the uncertainty, the mistakes — but I’ve never loved what I did more.
When I was in venture capital and before in consulting, I felt like you did - meh. IT was a GREAT experience, my brain was hurting from all the learning, I was meeting interesting people and doing valuable things — but I wasn’t passionate about it. I knew that, but now I really understand.
Nataly | September 10th, 2008 at 11:42 am
I am lucky enough to have just left an 8 year career tha I felt “meh” about for one that I think, “Man, I LOVE this!” about every day. I was able to do this just by changing positions at my employer, so it was a no-brainer, but before, I felt like you. . .should I take a chance and do something I love or earn a good living & be respected in my corporate field. I’m thinking with a law & engineering background, there’s gotta be a way to do both! I’m an ex-engr with an MBA and it’s a great foundation for a lot of careers.
Anyway, I am definitely on the find something you love side of the debate. . .I am also a believer in working forever in some form (not retiring), so maybe that contributes to my need to be happy with my career.
ajb | September 10th, 2008 at 12:27 pm
“Meh” for me, too. I’m a software engineer. I’m reasonably good at it, too.
The things I love about my job are: it’s flexible, it’s casual, the socializing and, most importantly, it pays well.
I’ve always longed to do something I love, but since I haven’t figured out what that is yet (other than raising kids, which pays CRAP), I’ll stick with my current cushy gig.
Jan | September 10th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Depends on what file I am working on!
Somedays are Hell, some days are Heaven.
I suspect unless I am my own boss, once I have a family it will always feel more like a responsibility than a labor of love. However, I think embracing that responsibility to provide for your family is total love.
When I look back on how hard my dad worked, and how much my mom sacrificed by being home with us kids without my dad except for dinner I am in total awe.
Anonymous | September 10th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
It’s a labor of love, but it’s not my passion.
It’s more about being part of a team. There’s some “making a difference” in there, but also a lot of boring stuff.
I always wanted to be a teacher and your mom sounds just like me. Because I was a gifted student, I was ridiculed for wanting to be a teacher. “Those who can, do, and those who can’t, teach” I heard over and over. My mom insisted I should be a lawyer like her lady boss (that was 35 years ago, mind you).
Stubbornly, I took three years of education courses and was getting into bits of student teaching and observing at schools, and I came home and expressed my concern that with the entrenched, unmotivated teachers from the baby boomer era running the show, maybe I wouldn’t be able to make a difference in educatoin after all. My mom pounced on this and talked me into going to law / MBA school so I could earn money and then use that to start my own school someday. Well, it hasn’t worked out that way so far.
I am certainly not sorry for my education and it’s true I might have been miserable had I become a teacher at 20 as I’d planned. But I’m still trying to figure out how to inject my true passion into my work.
SKL | September 10th, 2008 at 4:25 pm
Depends on the day. LOL. Some days I love being a teacher. Some days I don’t want to go to work. Overall, though, I really love my vocation.
I hope my daughter finds something to do that she loves and enjoys, but there will always be “those” days when it just feels like a job. I think it’s unavoidable.
Robyn | September 10th, 2008 at 7:44 pm
Don’t you think it’s also a different generation? I think our generation is used to doing different things and not getting “married for life to one job or career”.
Baby boomers “loved” to work in the same place (or industry) always and expected to be recognized for it.
We are more “eclectic”.
Zelma | September 11th, 2008 at 8:50 am
Oh, I wish my husband and I BOTH enjoyed our careers more. I think it would be better for our kids to see that we enjoy what we do, and I want THEM to enjoy the careers they choose, too. However, they see that we both work hard to provide for them, and I hope that will at least instill a sense of responsibility.
I agree with Zelma, too, that it’s a different generation. And I think our generation has much more specific criteria for “loving” our careers. Work-life balance, good benefits, reasonable commute, social responsibility — those weren’t as much a consideration for our parents and grandparents, I don’t think. So we tend to be less satisfied than they were if ALL of those things aren’t just right.
Lee | September 12th, 2008 at 7:31 am
My mom always told us she was just happy to find a job she could tolerate. My dad had a sort of quiet, restrained passion for his work. But both always worked to live, and taught us that it’s in the rest of your life (kids, hobbies, etc.) where you can really enjoy yourself. I think my husband and I are both following similar paths now in our careers and family life, and it feels right.
Susan | September 12th, 2008 at 8:28 am
This is exactly the question I ask myself, sometimes on a daily basis. I am an executive in the finance world and “meh” is an understatement. Especially since I became a mom. Prior to that, my whole career was about “show me the money” what do I need to do to be the most successful in my arena and bring home the most money! Well, now that I have other priorities, I have absolutely no passion for this work any more.
I know there are other career paths I could get into that I would feel passionate about going to work every day, and have more time with my family. However, how do you come to terms with taking, say an 80% pay cut and give up all that you have worked for the past 15 years.
Ugh, I struggle with this every day!
Sam | September 12th, 2008 at 8:57 am
I like work in my field Project Management. That said, I’m not always managing projects that I love - or even like. There are aspects of project management that I’ll never enjoy.
I don’t plan on being a active Project Manager forever. At some point, I’d like to branch out on my own and either starting a consulting business or teach about the field.
Honestly, I never thought of my job as something I am passionate about. I like what I do, it comes naturally to me, and it supports all of me strengths. Do I LOVE it? Nope. But it pays the bills and doesn’t drive me crazy.
Robyn | September 12th, 2008 at 1:09 pm
I can say that I am passionate and love my job. I work to live, but also live to work.
I would encourage you (and I know it’s hard to fit in with everything else going on in life) to maybe use your professional talents/education to benefit another organization by serving on a board of directors or volunteering in some capacity. You have no idea how many nonprofits could use people with your professional talent/education and in return you get the passion and love for work you are missing.
Sarah | September 12th, 2008 at 8:00 pm
Oh Karen, I read this and all I can think is get out now before it’s too late. (Not that it would ever be too late, but the longer you stay, the harder it is, I think.)
I was a biglaw firm associate for three years and the whole time I was there I knew something was missing.
I had this one colleague who was absolutely passionate about being a tax lawyer. I envied his passion.
I thought it was law I wasn’t passionate about, but it turned out it was not the law, but the way I was practicing law.
After three years of wondering if there was something more or if I should just be satisfied with not being passionate about my work, I got up the courage to leave.
It’s been 5 years and I’m happy to report these have been the best 5 years of my life.
Leaving my job opened up so many pathways for me that were completely shut down while I was stuck in the uninspired biglaw firm life.
You can have it all Karen. But, to get there you have to be willing to give it all up.
Yes, it’s scary. But, oh so worth it.
Alexis Martin Neely | September 14th, 2008 at 10:50 am
Oh dear - “Meh” describes how I feel about it to a ‘T’ as well…
Meh
tash | October 7th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
[...] traits which are helpful in pretty much any career. And as I’ve mentioned before, I have no passion around the practice of law . I just don’t think that’s where I’m meant to [...]
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