Full Time, All the Time
with Britt and Robyn
I'm Britt. I work full time as a mom, wife, blogger and salesperson with a fancy management title. And I'm Robyn. I work as a project manager and between corporate meetings manage to cook a home-made meal every day. This blog is about our experiences of juggling full-time work with family.
Check out our personal blogs:
Miss Britt and Who's the Boss?
A tearful morning drop off at daycare is one of the worst ways to start a weekday. No matter how much fun she looks like she’s having when you pick her up at the end of the day, those 7am screams of abandonment are remarkably convincing.
After two kids, eight years and five various childcare providers, I’ve picked up a few tips to make dropping your kids off at daycare less traumatic for everyone.
Find quality time in your morning routine. The rush and chaos of getting a family dressed, fed and out the door is stressful for everyone and can put your child on edge. Take a moment to break the tension for both of you and they’ll start the day in a more cooperative mood. Try sitting down to breakfast together, or turning off the radio and having a chat on the drive to daycare. (I’m much more likely to find quality time with my daughter in the car after her brother has gone to school.)
Establish a drop off routine. In the same way that nightly routines tell your child what to expect at bed time, setting a morning schedule can reduce daycare meltdowns. Sign in and put away coats and lunch boxes in the same order every morning and you’ll both be better prepared for the upcoming separation.
Walk all the way into the room. Different child care providers might have different procedures, but if possible try bringing your child all the way into their classroom instead of saying good bye at the door. Your departure becomes less about saying goodbye and more about the toys and friends waiting to be played with.
Make a quick exit. A hug, kiss and cheerful goodbye and then be on your way. When you set the tone that this is not a big deal, they’re likely to follow your lead. If there are tears, avoid hanging around and making a fuss. Your childcare provider will likely confirm for you later in the day that your son or daughter is just fine as soon as you’re out of sight. (And if they don’t, it’s probably time to dig deeper to find out why.)
With a little planning and attention to small details, everyone can benefit from a tear free start to the day.
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A quick comment here. My 10 year old cried EVERY day at drop off for the first five years of his life…different situations - a home provider, a part time day care, and a full time day care, even his beloved date night babysitters. Didn’t matter…he was not good at transitions and he cried. He was okay within 15 seconds of me leaving, but he was a mess when I left. All of a sudden when he turned five, he stopped crying. No reason…he was just growing up and better at transitions. Now he’s 10 and I can barely get a hug at the bus stop.
On the other hand, my six year old NEVER cried at drop off.
Karla E. | November 12th, 2008 at 11:58 am
Great suggestions! Some kids just don’t handle transitions well, and these are wonderful ideas to ease the stress. My daughter doesn’t generally cry at drop off, but I will incorporate these ideas anyway just because they are so great. Thanks.
Robyn | November 12th, 2008 at 12:29 pm
[...] daughter is pretty good about daycare drop offs and I believe it’s because we’ve stuck to the same consistent routine for over a year [...]
My horrible mom moment - Work It, Mom! Blog - Work It, Mom! | November 12th, 2008 at 7:54 pm
These are all great ideas, but if you do everything and still have a drop-off crier, it’s important to not internalize this as some sort of failure. Equally important is resisting the tempatation to dismiss your child’s anxiety as wrong.
Some kids are just better at transitions than others. While we can do everything possible to ease the transition, we can never “change” the feelings that our children feel, only respect them and work together to make it easier for them to adjust to the situation.
Brenda | November 13th, 2008 at 1:10 pm