with Britt Reints
Forget the 9 to 5; Full Time, All the Time is a blog about the mobile working life - when you have the freedom to work from anywhere and the responsibility of always having your smartphone turned on. Britt Reints works as a freelance writer while traveling fulltime in an RV with her husband and two kids. She explores balancing real-life bills with an unconventional work life, and finding time to maintain relationships with family and friends.
You can also find Britt at InPursuitOfHappiness.net.
Categories: balance, break from reality, the juggle, vacation
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One of my girlfriends and I recently ran away for a long weekend roadtrip.
That in and of itself is no big deal. I am fortunate enough to travel fairly often - especially considering I work full time and have two children at home. I also steal Sunday afternoons here and there for girlfriend time and “me time”.
I’m no stranger to balancing family and relationship time with friend and me time.
If you would have asked me two weeks ago if I knew how to relax, I would have said “Absolutely!” I probably would have even lectured you about the importance of “learning to let go” and “taking care of yourself once and a while”.
But this weekend was different. This weekend helped rejuvenate me and prepare me for the great balancing act of real life even more than usual.
The difference was that this weekend I had absolutely no agenda.
I didn’t have a list of things I wanted to see (I went to Charleston, and the list of things to do is fairly short). I didn’t have a time line floating in the back of my head, ensuring that I’d get everything done and squeeze as much out of the weekend as possible. I didn’t have anyone else’s schedule to coordinate with - my girlfriend had been to Charleston before and made absolutely no demands on our time.
Sounds fabulous, doesn’t it?
It took almost a full 24 hours for my jaw to unclench.
When she suggested we take a thirty minute detour for lunch, I calculated the lost time in my head.
“We won’t get into Charleston until after 4,” I told her.
It took her blank stare to remind me that that’s OK.
When she made small talk over coffee on our first morning and took forever to get into the shower, I made a mental note of the time changes to my imaginary agenda of tourist activities.
It took some deep breathing and an internal smack upside the head to remind myself that the small talk is part of the journey.
By the end of that first 24 hours, I think I was breathing more deeply than I have in almost a decade. It made me see that not only do I keep my household running with my constant organization and time management, but I also let that seep into my down time. I realized I couldn’t remember the last time I felt completely relaxed around my kids or my husband. I tried to imagine how in the heck they could ever fully relax around me!
I came home fully rested and ready to take the reigns again.
But I also encouraged my husband to schedule an agenda-free weekend for himself sometime soon. And I’m hoping that the next time a free weekend - or even just a free day or afternoon - presents itself to my family and me, I’ll be able to show them just how relaxed I can be.
I could have written this about my weekend. Getting away from it all (Family included) was the best thing I could have done for my sanity.
I have ordered my husband to now do the same.
Angella | February 4th, 2009 at 12:13 pm
detours for lunch really are special. so glad you enjoyed your trip. and got to truly relax.
hello haha narf | February 4th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
Relax? Relax? Not as in . . . vacation with the kids, conference for work, quick drink with a girlfriend after work . . . you mean RELAX? I sort of relaxed last year when I couldn’t sleep so stayed up for 3 hrs on the computer . . . at least no one was bugging me . . . but really relax? I think it was when I was in labor with my first . . . .
Good for you . . . sounds like a GREAT time!
Elaine at Lipstickdaily | February 4th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
This is horrible — but my answer to your question is I have no idea…. and I am desperately in need of being completely relaxed!:)
Nataly | February 4th, 2009 at 9:31 pm
What is WRONG with all of us? We cannot possibly believe that we are better wives/mothers/friends because we never take time to refill our emotional “wells.” We cannot really expect to model balance for our kids when we’re so out of whack with our own needs. Nobody likes a martyr…it’s time we stopped killing ourselves in a futile attempt to become “SuperWomen” (as if that’s even possible or desirable) and just scheduled “me time” into our weekly schedules, then take it as seriously as a work commitment or dental appointment. I mean, seriously! If we don’t, we only have ourselves to blame.
Jeannie | February 5th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
Such a great story and reminder! Also good to know we are not alone in our search for some “me” time. I finally feel like I have my life in a place where I can manage some “me” time again; a great Au Pair and a wonderful husband have made all the difference. My famous line is “when everything is a priority, nothing is a priority”…especially you! Thanks for sharing.
Mommy on the Go | February 8th, 2009 at 1:03 pm
I haven’t really relaxed since about 1989!
Lynn | February 10th, 2009 at 9:31 am
The last time I really, truly relaxed was about 7 years ago when I went on a vacation with friends to Destin, FL. It was the first vacation I had had in 15 years. I am a single Mom (at that time my daughters were 13 and 15). It terrified me to leave them and I didn’t think I was going to be able to relax. Since that time I have tried to take small mini-vacations for myself. The last couple of years have been a whirlwind of events. I became a grandmother of two (girl and boy). So, mini-vacations went by the wayside and grandchildren took over. It’s been an exciting two years, but I’m ready for more “me time.” I have two vacations planned for this year. A mini-vacation to Virginia to visit a girlfriend and a week at a resort in the Smokey Mountains in November. I can’t wait!
Michelle | February 10th, 2009 at 11:52 am
I’m very guilty of this as well. I wrestle with the general low-grade buzz of guilt every day, just for going to work and leaving my daughter with her beloved Nana (and convincing myself that she does NOT love her grandmother more takes half of my ride to school). We spend our weekends doing stuff to make our weeks go by more smoothly - cleaning, laundry, dinner prep, shopping - the idea of taking a weekend and going away with my husband, let alone BY MYSELF…that just floors me. My daughter is 2, though, so maybe it’s just her young age. I might feel better about this 5 years from now…when I’m driving to the Poconos or to the shore. Hmmm…the idea of driving to the shore without the prospect of hauling the wagon full of kid gear…just a bag and a book. Nice, but I don’t know how I’d get through the guilt. I’ll relax when my kids are teenagers, I guess.
Meg | February 10th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
I’ve stayed up way too late just to get some me time. My husband works nights so no break and no family close by - in other far states. And he’s addicted to WOW so when he comes home he plays for hours and on weekends all weekend. He bought me surprise tickets to visit my mom with toddler this Christmas (he had no more time left) and one afternoon my brother and family took my toddler. I missed him totally but it was the first break in a long time.
Amy L | February 12th, 2009 at 5:06 pm
Thanks for posting, definitely going to subscribe! See you on my reader.
ArianaFeat | May 14th, 2009 at 6:01 am