Full Time, All the Time
with Britt and Robyn
I'm Britt. I work full time as a mom, wife, blogger and salesperson with a fancy management title. And I'm Robyn. I work as a project manager and between corporate meetings manage to cook a home-made meal every day. This blog is about our experiences of juggling full-time work with family.
Check out our personal blogs:
Miss Britt and Who's the Boss?
It seems like every woman I know is a self proclaimed clean freak. Every woman, that is, but me.
I hate cleaning. I don’t like picking up, I can’t stand folding laundry, and vaccuuming has got to be the most boring activity ever invented. There is nothing cathartic about cleaning for me.
“Oh, I don’t like cleaning either,” my friends will tell me, “but it just drives me crazy when it’s not done. You know how it is.”
Actually, I don’t.
You know what drives me crazy? A brown belt with black shoes. Socks with sandals. Bad customer service. A poorly written sales letter. That crap drives me crazy. A pile of unfolded laundry? I can block that out with an episode of Grey’s Anatomy.
I used to beat myself about this. You know, because as a wife and a mother I don’t have enough things to torture myself about. I cursed my own mother for not having the Becky Homecy Gene to pass on to me. I wondered how other women made it look so easy. I drove myself crazy asking what was wrong with me and trying to stay on top of all the domestic tasks I hated.
And then I moved to Florida.
Now, Floridians aren’t any less neat and tidy than other people. But my mother-in-law doesn’t live in Florida. And my best friend who just drops by to say hi doesn’t live in Florida. It was just a matter of time before I realized that no one but me knew whether my house was clean or not.
If I came home from work and sat on my butt for the night, no one would notice that I let the vaccuuming go for one more day.
If I spent my days off taking the kids to the beach, no one would care that the toilet in the guestroom didn’t get scrubbed this week.
I finally decided to throw in the towel. And wash it whenever I got around to it. Or, better still, let my husband wash it if he had time.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not going to make my family live in squalor. A mess here and there is one thing, but down right nasty and dirty is a line even I won’t cross. But I’m pretty sure I have dust on my baseboards right now.
And my floors might go two weeks between vaccuuming.
And there are dishes in my sink right now that won’t be washed for a few hours still.
And I’m finally OK with that. The thing is, as a mom who works fulltime, there’s no way for everything to get done. Something’s gotta give. If I have to choose between cleaning the house or spending time with the kids - I’m going to spend time with the kids. And in all honesty? I’m also going to choose a little alone time, some quiet and relaxation at the end of the day, over domesticity.
I’ve finally figured out that what works for me - what drives me crazy, what keeps me going, what makes me and my family happy when all is said and done - should be about our values and our happiness. And not an attempt to live up to some ridiculous standards that I imagine The Great And Powerful They have put on me.
What about you? Are you the anti-clean freak? Or do you rely on take out and microwave dinners instead of homecooked meals? What standards have you (or could you) let go of for yourself?
Mop photo by MindSpigot on Flickr.
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I’m kind of in between. It bothers me to see the clutter, but I can overlook it. The laundry can sit on the couch for a few days, and that’s fine. BTW, folding laundry is what I hate the most.
And my mother used to put socks with sandals on me when I was little. I still nag her about that.
Melanie (Modern Mami) | April 1st, 2009 at 5:40 am
I guess I am in between. I can be OK knowing theres laundry to be folded and vacuuming to be done and toys to be sorted BUT sometimes all of a sudden I get in “clean freak” mode and I MUST clean until its all done and it takes me longer than I would like. eh
Sarai | April 1st, 2009 at 8:25 am
My only argument for making sure the house is clean is that I’m highly allergic to dust. But that means I’m not the one dusting, which is perfect.
Finn | April 1st, 2009 at 9:00 am
I don’t like squalor, but frankly, I agree that there are better ways to spend my time. My husband cares though. Alot. So I make the food in our house. He cleans up afterwards while I play with the kids or get them ready for bed. And finally, we have a housekeeper who cuts down on the household arguments. Though that has been less frequent in this economy, I admit.
spacegeek | April 1st, 2009 at 6:06 pm
You know what - I totally and completely envy you. Seriously. I’m a horrible neat freak and I wish I weren’t. But it drives me batty when stuff is a mess and I can’t function. Boy, I wish I could.:)
Nataly | April 1st, 2009 at 7:44 pm
I hate to clean. I LOVED this post.
The only thing I can’t deal with is a messy kitchen. I have to have a clean sink and stove and some clear counterspace in order to cook. Aside from that? My threshold is pretty high.
Lylah | April 1st, 2009 at 7:56 pm
I hate cleaning, too, so I just wait until I can’t stand it anymore and then do it…. This actually works out quite well!
Woman in Transition | April 2nd, 2009 at 10:24 am
Ah yes, I am not the cleanest person either. I have my “piles” and then eventually it gets cleaned up. I mean if I’m having company over, then I try to neaten it up a bit…but then my four year old comes along and there go 40 little trains passing by…ouch.
I am more comfortable in a mess than I am with being in a clean environment….not sure exactly why. Although I am trying to be better with the dishes…unfortunately the little teeny fruit flies do like the sugar that is left over from not having clean dishes.
Ugh.
Gia Saulnier | April 2nd, 2009 at 11:23 am
I have to let things go to an extent, but it is always hanging over my head. Knowing there is crud building up in the corner is like having crud building up in the corners of my mind. I’d much rather keep up with it on a daily, or at least weekly, basis. But, I can’t due to the nature of my business and my household. I keep telling myself “someday soon” I will get into each nook and cranny and have at least some of the rooms “really clean,” even if it’s just for a day.
SKL | April 2nd, 2009 at 1:30 pm
Cool! In fact so much for a telepathy.. i as just thinking of writing an article on the same topic on my blog.. I would rather not clean and create something great for my career..
Go anti-clean freaks!
live your life first..
Shweta | April 2nd, 2009 at 2:27 pm
AHMEN!!!
vera babayeva | April 2nd, 2009 at 3:08 pm
I don’t like it, but I also don’t like to do it. I hire a housekeeper. It’s the only way.
Elaine at Lipstickdaily | April 2nd, 2009 at 4:02 pm
I have a super high tolerance for mess. I don’t feel bad about it at all unless someone comes by unannounced. And then I just declare that it’s messy and hope they assume it’s been a particularly hard week and not that we actually live this way. But we do. I do try to keep the chaos at bay, which means a fair amount of work just to make sure most of the dishes get washed most of the days and that we have clean clothes and that there aren’t huge banana smears on the windows. Although our clothes might get put away. And the clutter sort of continuously regenerates. Like sourdough starter. You just need to feed it a little and it will live forever. I often think if I spent this same amount of time cleaning before I had kids how amazing our house would have looked.
kbc | April 3rd, 2009 at 12:33 am
My mom gave me a little piece of framed art when I had my first child that said “Leave the dust bunnies for tomorrow, and hold your sweet baby today” or something to that effect. It was cute, and sort of gave me “permission”, from my own mother, who was an awesome housekeeper, to let the house go because there are more important things to do.
Today, I hire it out and it’s worth it. I do like the house to be clean, and I don’t have to worry about keeping up with it or doing toilets - much. I have 3 boys and a husband - you know how THAT goes. Now if only I could hire someone to come in 4 times a year to do the junk drawers and closets… because I’ve reached my peak fulfillment there too!:)
Bottom line, relax and never skip time with the kids or your husband in lieu of housework! The housework will ALWAYS be there no matter how much you do or keep up with it. And do allow yourself that quiet time too; we do a lot, and need to refuel ourselves so we can be our best for ourselves and our loved ones. Happy Spring!
Rosanne Rust | April 3rd, 2009 at 6:58 am
I’m not a clean freak. Far from it. I can stand a certain amount of clutter, and I do. When I get home, I want to read, relax, play with my daughter. I do the minimum I can stand. My husband does the rest. And I just do not give a flying leap what anyone else thinks of that.
Robyn | April 6th, 2009 at 3:44 pm
i’m a neat freak mostly, which is a terrible thing with 2 kids, 2 cats and a dog. i’m divorced now, so it’s even worse, because i know that the responsibility is all on my shoulders… even though the ex didn’t do anything it still seems harder now that’s it just me. i work from the second i get home from work till 1 hour before bedtime, so i can hang with the kids. i think this is the most exhausted i’ve ever been.
Becca | April 6th, 2009 at 5:11 pm
I gave up cleaning for Lent. I am a very good Catholic.
patriciaj | April 8th, 2009 at 5:04 pm
I so agree with you. I am not a clean freak, although sometimes I wish I was so when someone came over unannounced I won’t be so embarrassed! I work full time 40-45 hours a week and when I get home the last thing I want to do is fold laundry or wash the floors. I always try to think that someday my house will be clean and it will be when the kids are grown! I actually feel more comfortable in a ‘lived in’ house too!
Jen | April 13th, 2009 at 3:15 pm