Full Time, All the Time
with Britt and Robyn
I'm Britt. I work full time as a mom, wife, blogger and salesperson with a fancy management title. And I'm Robyn. I work as a project manager and between corporate meetings manage to cook a home-made meal every day. This blog is about our experiences of juggling full-time work with family.
Check out our personal blogs:
Miss Britt and Who's the Boss?
Is going part-time equal to career suicide?
Categories: balance, discrimination, mommy guilt, relationships, working mom
I recently had the conversation with my boss about potentially going part-time. With my son starting kindergarten in August, I’ve felt the overwhelming need to be at home. It surely isn’t a desire to be a SAHM; I love and I need to work. But there’s been this all-consuming feeling that I need to be home at least part-time.
There are two people on our team that work part-time, so I know that my boss is open to the idea. In fact, she herself has worked part-time in the past. After the birth of her first daughter, she came back from maternity leave working three days a week and slowly moved back up to full-time. She understands the need to work less hours. But she also offered a very strong opinion on what it would do to my career.
Essentially, if I went part-time I would be giving up any and all opportunities to advance.
She wasn’t saying it as a threat or as my manager. She was speaking from experience. There would be less responsibility due to fewer hours. That less responsibility would make it near impossible to get a promotion or a merit increase. Of course, I’d already factored in the less pay while I would be part-time. But I hadn’t given much thought to the long-term earning potential that I could be sacrificing.
My boss wasn’t trying to scare me out of it. I appreciated the candid conversation and her willingness to share her experience. It left me with a lot to think about. After mulling it over for weeks and talking to nearly everyone in my family, I decided use a “wait and see” approach. I’m going to continue to work full-time when my son starts school and see how it goes. It may be easy. It may be tough. But then I’ll know that the benefit of fewer hours will be worth the lack of career advancement and financial losses.
Any part-timers want to chime in with your experience? Is the career-suicide warning fact or fiction?
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No, it isn’t suicide, but the results will vary by employer.
If I’d gone part-time with my previous employer, it would have been a disaster. I would have had to keep up all the same administrative and professional BS stuff at 100%, and still carry half of my book of business. The reality is that about half of the full-time workday in that company is spent on professional BS and administrative stuff, and if you are part-time, you probably have to do even more to convince others you’re a force to reckon with - meaning it ain’t happening. There were no part-time workers at my level in the company.
In my current job, I focus on substantive work at least 90% of the time, so I’m able to demonstrate value-add even if I am on a part-time schedule. More importantly, I continue to develop my skills and become more valuable over time, whether I’m part-time or full-time.
Obviously if you are going to decrease your hours, you are going to increase the length of time it will take to climb the ladder. That’s only fair. People working full-time are sacrificing more for the company and that should be recognized. But a temporarily slower climb does not have to mean stagnation or “career suicide.” You just might need to re-think your personal definition of career success.
SKL | June 5th, 2009 at 7:50 am
I actually asked to be demoted a couple of years ago. I had an unpredictalbe schedule that was making it impossible with daycare, and I was going to need a live-in nanny to keep that job. The trade off is I could easily have gotten more money for the work, but for me, walking my DD to school every AM and home 3 evenings a week was better.
My manager supported me in my decision, but like you Robyn, she warned me that it would mean I would never rise above a certain level. For me, that was worth it, and I don’t regret a minute of my decision.
I was able to be on school committees I wouldn’t have in the other job, I’m able to trade some daylight hours for burning the midnight oil (I’m a natural night owl anyway). But others would prefer a different choice. I like being able to catch some school performances, chat with her on the walk to every AM.
If I need inspiration I remind myself that my mom had her highest career moves in her late 40s/early 50s so it doesn’t necessarily mean the poor house in my old age.
Mich | June 5th, 2009 at 9:19 am
My older daughter is going to K this fall as well and I too discussed part time option with my boss couple of months back. The answer I got was - our VP does not support PT at all.. Well, that is end of story.. There is no room for negotiation even. I love my job and am not sure if I want to switch to a job for PT only. And it does not look easy to find a job that will be PT from the joining time itself. However if my boss had given me an option to go PT with lower pace of career growth, I personally would have jumped at it.
Lakshmi | June 5th, 2009 at 10:58 am
It is not necessarily career suicide. It depends on your employer and company. Having an eight hour day split between 2 people makes a lot of sense. There would be someone to pick up the slack if the other person would need a vacation or more time off and there would flexibility. There are times during any company’s year that it is slower than other times. Having more part timers would cover more time overlaps during busy times. Companies could save on paying benefits. It might be a win win for all.
Suesbooks | June 5th, 2009 at 11:29 am
I was in the exact same situation not out of choice but necessity last year. My 1st one started KG, there was no after school space, and with the random days off etc - I went part time when school started till I figured out some solution.
I work in the semiconductor industry, and even though my management was supportive, I agree with what your manager has said about career suicide.
What I noticed is that even though you go part time - work does not reduce proportionately (only salary). I was getting too stressed out trying to keep up, since I wanted to do my best to keep on the track for further movements up.
We went ahead and decided to get a nanny instead to help out at home and with the kids after school, it worked out pretty well. Even though I joke that I work to keep the nanny employed - it has helped me till I figure out what I want in the long term. Also with all the after school activities soccer etc having some help driving her around has helped logistically since my 2nd one is in a different pre-school and I have to pick him up.
I still think that at some time I will cut back hours and enjoy my life and our garden a bit more - just not sure when.
Good luck
Momof2kids | June 5th, 2009 at 1:29 pm
I wouldn’t call it career suicide, more like career slowdown. You have to make sacrifices, but you’re right- what you get is the chance to get more time at home with your son. I had a pretty good experience going part time, and never thought that I wouldn’t be able to go on the fast track once I went full time again.
selfmademom | June 6th, 2009 at 1:58 pm
I’ve heard all those warnings as well (I’m a clinical psychologist who has not worked full-time since my first daughter was born 5 years ago, and my field is super-saturated and very competitive), but I choose to disregard them. Some may call this foolish, but I find the doomsday scenarios completely unhelpful. I decided to do what was right for my heart right now, and deal with the future in the future. One thing I have learned in general over nearly 40 years of life is that things are rarely as terrible as one worries they will be. I am 100% confident that, when I am ready to do so, I will succeed at my career in a way that may be unimaginable to me right now–who can possibly foresee what (new) opportunities might arise after my time and experiences at home and doing part-time freelance/consulting/writing work (which I do while mothering full-time)? To me, it’s more important to not have regrets later that I missed out on moments with my daughters that I’ll never get back. Work will always be there, in one form or another. My babies will not be babies forever.
Shannon | June 7th, 2009 at 8:05 pm
I think the commenter who called it “career slowdown” is probably right. Nothing is forever. If you’re scaling back hours, an immediate promotion probably wouldn’t make sense anyway.
Miss Britt | June 8th, 2009 at 6:58 am
Thank you for your opinions - I love the readers of this blog!
I’m sure you are all correct - it doesn’t mean the end, there is a very real (and adorable) benefit for being PT, I can’t foresee the future and could very well “make up” the losses later in my career.
Working in Silicon Valley where people work the longest hours in the world, it is hard to imagine the world of part-time. This is the first company that I have worked that has a good chunk of people who choose part-time. I’m in unchartered territory for me. So I value everything you guys have said. I certainly haven’t made my decision yet. I think I’ll know if I can sink or swim by October.
Thanks again!
–Robyn
Robyn - Who's the Boss? | June 8th, 2009 at 9:40 am
I worked part-time for five years from the time Lauren was 6 months old until she started first grade. I don’t think it killed my future upward mobility, but it did put it on hold for a while. I had been on a management track. She’s now 8 and I’m back on it.
I can see why you might not get promoted if working part-time, but no merit increases? That’s bullshit. Just because you work a “reduced” schedule doesn’t mean you’re a slacker or that you don’t accomplish anything. Or that you don’t deserve to be rewarded for doing a good job during the hours you are working.
In fact, when I was working part-time, I did get promoted, come to think of it … more of a title change than a change in responsibility, though. I also got merit increases each year.
There are a few hard things about moving to part-time from a full-time position:
1) Often, you’re expected to do the same amount of work during fewer hours
2) Often, you’re expected to be available on your off days for phone calls and email (at least checking in)
3) Often, you’re expected to change your schedule for important meetings, etc.
4) Some people will simply not take you seriously, even if they did before. Childless women, especially, seem to disrespect part-timers.
So, if you do it, you have to negotiate firm boundaries that you do not cross. If you cross them even a few times, they disintegrate.
I found when working part-time, I was a whole lot more efficient than working full-time. There’s a certain amount of guilt I felt when I was screwing around online or gossiping with my colleagues when I was working 24 hours a week. Now, salaried and full-time, I’m full of justifications for doing these things and feel no guilt at all.
I loved the balance I got working three days a week. My favorite surprise was regaining my weekends from errands and chores. Lauren and I would run errands and do house stuff on Thursdays and Fridays, and on the weekend we had time for all sorts of fun. If I could afford it (financially) I’d do it again. I’m trying to figure out if I can cut back to four 9-hour days so I can have three-day weekends all the time.
Some other things to keep in mind:
* By working part-time even for a few years, you’re reducing the amount you’re saving for retirement–if you’re contributing a % of salary and your company is matching.
* working part-time will reduce your Social Security benefits (as if that’ll still be around, but hey, a girl can dream)
* once you go part-time, it’s really hard to go back to full-time. Really hard.
* When you go part-time, often the full-time worker in the house has changed expectations of you. This has happened to me and to friends. My ex expected me to contribute equally to the house account AND step up on the housework. Our inability to come to a new agreement contributed to our divorce. So be sure to go into it having negotiated things at home as well as at work.
If you can do it, you absolutely should do it. Having the extra time for your child and for yourself is life-building.
Lynn
lynn @ human, being | June 9th, 2009 at 11:33 am