I spent last weekend at a blogging conference in Chicago.  Although the conference was targeted primarily towards female bloggers, I had the honor of moderating a panel of three male bloggers, two of whom were also dads.

Although they were there to talk about blogging, it was something they said about parenting that I want to share with you.

Dads want to be parents, too.

Scratch that.

Dads are parents.

And they consider it just as much a responsibility and a job as mothers do.

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The recent post about the benefits to children of working moms and the subsequent “Why are we still talking about this?” post have sparked quite a bit of discussion - both among the readers here and in my own head.

What?  You have discussions inside your own head, too, right?

One of the common themes that kept coming up was confidence.  Well, that and doubt - which I suppose is the opposite of confidence.

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Last week I wrote a post about some of the benefits that children of working mothers enjoy.  Or, rather, the benefits that my children have experienced as a result of my choice to work outside the home.

I was inspired to write that post after watching my four year old daughter attempt to make scrambled eggs in the microwave by herself.  As I was wiping the egg yolk off my kitchen floor, I couldn’t help but marvel at the idea that she had even tried to complete such a task on her own.  My hope in writing that post was to encourage other working mothers to notice the things their children have picked up as a result of growing up in a home with a working mom.

But why?

SKL, a frequent and always thought provoking commenter here, questioned whether or not discussions like this are still necessary.  Her original comment was:

“With all the empirical data and experience out there, an objective and honest person really can’t categorically say a working mom is “bad” for kids. I could see this being a vigorous discussion 30 years ago, but now? Why do we still need to ask this question?

The real question should not be “should we work,” but “how should we go about it.”….”

She went on to explain her thought process further in the comments of that post, and I encourage you to read them.

The original sentiment of her question is one I have been going over and over again in my head.

Why do we keeping talking about whether working outside the home is OK?  Or good?  Or bad?

Are we doing a disservice to ourselves by continuing to defend our choice to work?

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Many of us are working moms because we have to be.  Fortunately, we recognize that there are benefits to being a working mom.

Obviously there is more income to be shared with our spouses, and almost every working mother I know appreciates the sense of accomplishment she gets from working outside the home.

But what about our children?

Sure, they benefit from having things like food, clothing and shelter provided to them thanks to our paychecks.  The economic advantages of having a mother who works full time seem to be the main motivating factor for mothers to remain in the workforce after they have children.

But I think my children are gaining more than just financial stability because I work.

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If there was a Nobel Prize for multi-tasking, I’m positive a working mother would win every single year.  Hands-down.  We are the ultimate multi-taskers.  We aren’t necessarily naturals at the multi-tasking game, but learn how to do it well to survive.  It is technology that keeps us sane between corporate meetings, volunteering in classrooms, trying to be domestic goddesses and all that other stuff in between.

I am beyond lucky to be a 21st century working mother.  Technology allows me to juggle the demands of my profession while still spending plenty of time with my little guy.  My BlackBerry, laptop, and two dozen Wi-Fi spots around town make it possible to work from home, work from a coffee shop, even work during the carpool ride to home (no,  I’m not driving).

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Part of my job here is to write about topics that I think other working moms will relate to.

Often times, that means talking about the unique struggles that women who work full time jobs outside of the home face.

Women like to commiserate.  It’s part of who we are, and one of the ways we remind ourselves that we are not totally failing at this motherhood gig.  Because if someone else is having the same issues, maybe we can ease up on ourselves a bit.

Today I’d like to offer us an opportunity to share in the things we do not suck at.

Let us forget for a moment the times we forgot to bake cookies or return permission slips.  Let us not worry about the quality time we might be depriving our children of or the life lessons we might be handling poorly.

Let us, instead, bask in the glow of knowing - beyond a shadow of a doubt - that there are some things we do exceptionally well.

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