Full Time, All the Time
with Britt and Robyn
I'm Britt. I work full time as a mom, wife, blogger and salesperson with a fancy management title. And I'm Robyn. I work as a project manager and between corporate meetings manage to cook a home-made meal every day. This blog is about our experiences of juggling full-time work with family.
Check out our personal blogs:
Miss Britt and Who's the Boss?
Do what you love and the money will come.
That’s what they tell us, anyway. They being Disney and your mom and your high school guidance counselor and the life coaches on Oprah.
And look at how well it worked out for Oprah!
Yes, the answer to happiness and prosperity, it seems, is clear. Just do what you love. The money will come.
I think I’m going to try that line out on my mortgage company next month.
“Hey, listen. I’m doing what I love! Don’t worry! The money will come! And when it does, you’ll be first on my list!”
Or not.
I think that in theory, the “do what you love” concept is a brilliant one. But in reality, I had a family to provide for at 19. I had to make a living long before I had any clue what my passion or purpose was in life. And now, 10 years later at 29, I have responsibilities and obligations to take care of every month that I can’t just walk away from or put on hold while I wait for “the money to come”.
So now what?
All hope is not lost.
First of all, I’m fortunate that I do not hate my job. I work in sales and marketing because I’m good at it - not because I am passionate about selling stuff. I work for the specific company that I do because it’s a great job. The environment, people and perks are a perfect fit for me. If I have to spend my days doing something that isn’t exactly in line with my passions, this is the company that I want to be spending those days with.
But, I have also started to figure out what it is that I love to do.
I love to travel and I love to write. Those are my passions. Those are the things I would continue to do even if I won the lottery tomorrow. I would do them whether I was paid or not. If I could get paid to do them so that I could have the luxury of doing it all day long, that would be fantastic.
About a year and a half ago, I started to do what I loved.
I didn’t quit my job, because I couldn’t.
I did what I loved anyway. I did it on the side in small bites. I did it at nights and on weekends.
18 months later, I’m getting paid for doing what I love. Granted, I’m not getting paid much. I still can’t quit my full time job. But I’m making progress, and in the meantime I’m enjoying the rewards of spending at least a part of my everyday life doing the things that make my heart sing.
I’ve started to realize that it may take years for me to get to “do what I love” and have “the money come” in large enough quantities that I don’t have to work at anything I don’t love. Or it might never happen. But I’m OK with that because I’m not waiting or feeling like I’m wasting my life in the meantime. I’ve found a way to meet my obligations while still having time to enjoy my passions.
All hope is not lost.
Are you doing what you love?
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I struggled with this for a long time. What helped was when I sat down and broke down what I do well and enjoy doing, into “aspects” of my actual and dream jobs. Like breaking down and restructuring problems. That doesn’t sound like a “job I love” but it is the “why” of the kinds of work I love, if that makes sense.
Also, “do what you love” never meant “do only what you love from day one.” It is the rare individual who is so talented that he can make a good living off of “only” what he loves from an early age.
Then too, it helps to consider why you “don’t” love what you are doing, and whether that’s more because of unquestioned assumptions than actual incompatibility. Are you sure you know how to be happy, even in your “dream job”? Many people don’t.
SKL | August 5th, 2009 at 7:23 am
SKL -
you know your my favorite commenter ever, right?
And I should probably give you a commission for all of the post ideas I get just from your comments.
Like “how to find happiness in your job” - because that is an EXCELLENT point!
Miss Britt | August 5th, 2009 at 7:27 am
For many of us, doing what we love is a long-term goal. You may need more experience, education, flexibility (i.e. children being older or out of the house), etc. to be able to do your “dream job”. If you can’t find happiness in the process of getting there, or in the simple joy of providing for your family, you won’t find happiness once you land that perfect job either. Any career has its highs and lows, even the one where you do what you love. The earlier in life you learn and accept that, the happier you will be in whatever career or job you find yourself.
LMJN | August 5th, 2009 at 7:49 am
I was thinking about something similar the other day - the idea of taking a calculated risk. It’s not always possible to just jump into something and be successful at it in a way that pays the bills immediately. But, we can take steps to make pursuing a life of what we love less risky. Like staying at your job while you grow your business. I’m doing the same.
But, the other commenters make a good point. Attitude and the ability to find enjoyment in our jobs and the more mundane aspects of our lives are just as important as pursuing the dream - if we don’t appreciate those things, and the dream eludes us, we are frequently disappointed.
SizeTracker | August 5th, 2009 at 8:45 am
I am very lucky. I have a career that I love and, according to some other folks that like to pay me. I’,m pretty darn good at it. That said, my job is not the only thing that I do that I love. I am a woman of many passions (insert wink here) and a relatively short attention span (thank you double-shot-venti-peppermint-latte!), so the things I do away from my desk are just as important to me.
My dad was a total workaholic and completely slid into a post-retirement depression. A depression that’s now stretched into 20 years. He let his work became his only definition. He’s been lost since.
I guess what I’m trying to say (in a very rambling sort of way) is that, yes doing what you love is important. Getting paid for it is a bonus. In the end, we all have to pay the bills, but we should certainly do what we can to squeeze as much pleasure out of life as we can.
Nancy | August 5th, 2009 at 10:30 am
I have to admit that I hav enjoyed all the jobs I’ve had in my professional life. Some of the bosses I’ve had, I can’t say the same. But why would you take a job that you HATE? As long as you do not take a job that you HATE or that you’re not qualified to do and you have the right attitude about work, you should be able to enjoy your job. Just don’t take the job you HATE doing things you hate to do and have a good attitude. The proper attitude will make a so-so job into a good job and a bad attitude will make the perfect job into a horror.
It’s all in the attitude.
Glenn | August 5th, 2009 at 11:59 am
I think there is a BIG gap between a job that you “HATE” and doing what you “love”.
I think there is value in learning to love (or finding something to love about) whatever it is you’re doing - whether it’s working to provide for your family or doing laundry or mowing the lawn or WHATEVER.
But I also think that there are things that each of us have that we are absolutely passionate about that doesn’t always translate into an immediate income.
Miss Britt | August 5th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
But for the age thing, I could have written this!
Yes, I am doing what I love. I just wish the scope of it were wider, but since I cannot commit to full-time, I have to compromise.
The biggest problem with what we love is that it is way undervalued. I can’t remember who the quote is by, but it goes, “You can get rich writing, but you can’t make a living.” It’s not easy, but it sure beats accounting.
Finn | August 5th, 2009 at 12:39 pm
Your realistic attitude is comforting considering the easy approach you could have taken …(giving up on following a passion you love). The idea that many moms miss is that whatever you want to do you must continue to work at it. I would be simple to say “follow your passion” when at the age of 19 you probably weren’t even sure who you really were. This was a quality that you had to develop. As you grew you understood what the power of your strengths and perhaps what you had a natural passion for. Your success lies in the pursuit of something greater and the revelation that good enough is not enough.
Stephanie Robertson | August 6th, 2009 at 9:09 am
I’m still trying to figure out what I love, and at this point am looking for a job that I don’t hate that pays the bills, and that I could actually get, and am having really tough time finding something.
My issue is my husband jumped on this bandwagon first, so to speak. He’s doing what he loves, I’m paying a lot of the bills. I’m realizing, though, I may just start something (teaching career) and then we’ll talk about maybe he taking a break from his passion for a while.
My pet peeve, when he complains about his work
Nicole | August 6th, 2009 at 10:41 am
I have a fulltime job that is kind of boring but has incredible benefits and I do like the people I work with (mostly!). It is also very flexible schedule wise, which allows me to be a professional singer, which is what I love. I make pretty good money singing, but if I didn’t have a day gig to cover the bills, I’d have to take a bunch of unfulfilling singing gigs just to stay afloat, which would negate all the happiness and joy singing gives me.
For me it was about balance and knowing my personality. I’m not the type who does well not knowing where my next paycheck is coming from, but if I weren’t singing I would feel unfulfilled and like something was missing. It’s not always easy and there are totally days where I wish I didn’t have to go to my day job, but overall it works nicely.
Some people will judge you for not “making it” by doing what you love fulltime, but most of the time those people either a) get $$ help from a spouse/parent, etc. or b) have to take a bunch of gigs I wouldn’t want to do. This is what works for me.
Sarah in LA | August 6th, 2009 at 11:17 am
I feel so lucky to make a living doing what I love — reporting and writing. I am a big believer that there is a why to earn money doing whatever it is you feel passionate about. You just need to think out of the box to figure out how to do that. Realistically, you may need to find a supplemental way to earn income for the short term until pursuing your passion becomes profitable.
Work/Life Balancing Act | August 6th, 2009 at 3:09 pm
very nice. a realistic view. i appreciate this post.
vera babayeva | August 7th, 2009 at 7:02 am
I love what I do, I am a school counselor in a public school in GA. which means that I had three days of pay taken away because the Gov. gave us all 3 days of furlogh. I am taking your idea to heart and looking for a way to make a little extra $
Jenny | August 7th, 2009 at 8:04 pm
This subject is right on time for me. Just recently, I started having this discussion with myself, LOL. I have a very good job and actually enjoy what I do and the people I work with, but I can’t say its my passion. And I’m not quite sure what that is just yet. Thanks for the entry though………….
CKHi in TN | August 11th, 2009 at 9:38 am