Full Time, All the Time
with Britt Reints
Forget the 9 to 5; Full Time, All the Time is a blog about the mobile working life - when you have the freedom to work from anywhere and the responsibility of always having your smartphone turned on. Britt Reints works as a freelance writer while traveling fulltime in an RV with her husband and two kids. She explores balancing real-life bills with an unconventional work life, and finding time to maintain relationships with family and friends.
You can also find Britt at InPursuitOfHappiness.net.
My kids and I are experimenting with a fancy schmancy time management system to help everyone get through their morning and bed time routines.
More on that at a later date.
Today, I come to you for advice and creative ideas.
You see, part of this new fangled time management system involves keeping track of how many days we get it right, so to speak. This concept of keeping track of good days, accomplishments, etc. is pretty universal. I’ve heard of it used for everything from chores and school work to attitude and behavior. One of the key components of these systems is offering your child(ren) some type of reward.
And that’s where I’m stuck.
I do not want to offer to buy them a new toy each week. Their rooms are already overflowing with unused toys.
I want something that is both appealing and motivating to them, and something that I can realistically keep up with on a consisten basis. I also want them to have something tangible to strive for.
My son is almost 10 and my daughter is 4, so the rewards for each of them might be different.
Help me, oh wise readers.
What rewards have you used to successfully motivate your children?
Photo courtesy of tiffanywashko.
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In general, I believe that success is its own reward. In the rare case that I feel my kids have earned some extra, I will extend a privilege beyond its usual limit.
For older kids, I would think of something intangible that is the natural result of good planning / management. For example, a vacation that is cooler than your norm. Another thought is to take them to a craft store and give them a budget toward home-made holiday gifts for the extended family, or for a charity or children’s hospital (maybe coupled with a party-ish event). Something that isn’t a totally selfish pleasure and doesn’t end up lying around the house indefinitely.
SKL | September 2nd, 2009 at 7:51 am
I should clarify that I do pay for significant chores that go beyond basic family living and self-care. But I would not reward for basics such as getting oneself ready for school / bed, taking care of one’s own stuff, helping prepare one’s own meal, etc. Those are simply expected.
SKL | September 2nd, 2009 at 7:54 am
SKL - that tends to be my thinking too. I’m not inclined to pay my children for getting themselves dressed in the morning or going to bed on time.
Miss Britt | September 2nd, 2009 at 7:57 am
You’re right- it’s a tough challenge- what to reward them for versus what to simply expect. I’m a mom of 4 ranging from 15-3, and when my oldest was like 3 (and I was still all organized and stuff) I had a sticker chore chart. If she got ‘x’ amount of stickers we got to go do something fun- the movies, zoo, etc. So the reward was more ‘experience’ versus ‘material.’ It worked really well. With 4 kids now, they each have certain chores for which they are responsible and I still use the ‘if you guys finish your chores we can go out bowling’ type thing- kids seems to be motivated by ‘let’s go do something fun together’ even if it’s only going out to dinner that I then won’t have to cook- win, win!
marymac | September 2nd, 2009 at 8:22 am
For Travis, instead of buying him yet another toy, we usually give him money to put in his piggy bank to save for a bigger item he wants (whether it be a toy, video game, movie or vacation fund).
Or we’ll let him pick something small out from the dollar spot at Target or the Dollar Tree.
My old ace in the hole was taking him to the movies. “When you do your chores everyday for two weeks, we’ll go see a movie.” The Saturday matinees are only $5 here so it was cheaper than giving him money for stuff really. Then my brother started taking him to the movies once a week in the summer to give them something to do and kinda ruined that bribe.
Sheila | September 2nd, 2009 at 8:23 am
We have used this system for many years, but it was suggested to us not to use “rewards” by a psychologist. So instead we allowed our son to earn privileges. He would start the day off without the use of any electronics and no outside time. He was able to earn time with the TV, video games, radio, outside, etc. but following the rules, etc. We kept a laminated sheet of paper on the frig with the days of the week on it and every time he did something “good” he would get a tic mark. If he did something “wrong” we would erase a tic mark. Before bed each day we would count up the tic marks he received. For every 5 marks he received 30 minutes of TV, video games, radio, outside, etc., of his choosing the next day. If he did not have 5 or more tic marks he could play with his toys or read the next day. Sometimes he would have an hour or two of privilege time, sometimes he would have none, but it worked pretty well. There were no more punishments or arguments; if he was having an issue we simply erased a tic mark. It really helped him begin to take responsibility for his actions.
As with anything else, consistency is the key and making the system simple enough that you know you will keep up with it every day. The more complicated the system, the bigger the chance you will drop it after a week or so.
Misty | September 2nd, 2009 at 8:39 am
We recently started with a dollar for every day without major meltdowns for our kindergartener. She can do whatever she wants with it. So far she is at $10 and last week she deposited $5 from that to her bank account at school. She plans to use some on her next ice cream trip. We are looking forward to using this as a different learning experience for her in decision making, counting, saving etc..
Lakshmi | September 2nd, 2009 at 9:13 am
We use a point system. Ten base points each day for doing regular chores, homework, etc. Bonus points can be earned for going above and beyond. Points can be taken away for rule breaking, talking back, etc.
What we do is find something he wants: Right now it’s an iTunes gift card. We set a time period (2 weeks) and then set a point goal. If he makes the point goal in the set time, he gets the reward. If not, too bad. Other rewards have been sleepovers at a friend’s house, a movie he wants to see, staying up later on a weekend night, a “Lil’ M” day — we do whatever he wants to do, things like that. You can also base it around a family trip (but you must be prepared to cancel it!).
We still use punishments like taking things away if the situation warrants it. At some point we offer the option of using points to buy back his DS or whatever before the punishment period is over. He then has to earn back the points used.
It works very well — especially after the first time he didn’t get something because he didn’t earn the points.
Finn | September 2nd, 2009 at 9:52 am
how about money?
Lauren responds best to money. Candy comes in second. Not creative, but easy.
lynn @ human, being | September 2nd, 2009 at 10:36 pm