Two weeks ago, I wrote about how important alone time is for me as a person, woman, mother and working mom.  It helps me find my center and refuel so that I have the mental and emotional energy I need to continue taking care of the people who count on me.

A woman named Monya left a comment on that post that broke my heart, and took me back to a point in my life when alone time seemed absolutely impossible to find.  I had neither the child care, money nor hours in the day to find “me time” - alone or otherwise.

“You need a trip to the spa!” people would say, and I wanted to punch them in their perfectly exfoliated faces.

“Oh, honey, go take a bubble bath,” my girlfriends would advise, and I wanted to shout back “RIGHT!  SERIOUSLY!  Because 20 minutes in a tub will MAKE ALL THIS GO AWAY!”

And, I assure you, there would have been much caps lock shouting involved.

The thing is, they were right.  I did, and still do, need to find the time and space to get back to my center.  Constantly.  But it was the finding the time that constantly eluded me.  Where, in a life jam packed with needs and responsibilities, do we find an ounce of leftover time for ourselves?

For my friend, Monya, and women feeling just like her, here are a few suggestions:

Turn off the radio in the car. Two days a week, I have a 20 minute twice-a-day commute that I used to hate.  Now, I relish the chance to sit quietly with nothing but my thoughts.  The other three days of the week, I only get about 10 minutes alone in the car after I drop off my daughter at preschool.  It’s not much, but it’s something, and I’m not giving up that something to morning show DJs anymore.

Close the door when you take a shower. Monya actually joked that getting ready in the morning was her “me time”.  I used to joke that even that time wasn’t sacred because there was usually a little face smashed up against the glass asking me when I was going to be done.  Now, I shut the door to the bathroom, put some jazz music on my iPod, and enjoy the few minutes of peace.

Do yoga. OK, seriously, don’t punch me.  But being alone and quiet takes some getting used to, and I found that yoga was a really great way to ease me into it.  I was doing something while not really doing anything with my brain.  Even just a 15 minute routine in the morning or right before bed can help get you in the practice of shutting up your mind for a little bit.

Make dinner.  Alone. You have to feed them anyway, right?  Kick everyone out of the kitchen (maybe turn on cartoons in another room) and go through the motions of preparing a meal all by yourself.

Go grocery shopping.  Alone. This was one of the very first ways I got alone time.  We need groceries.  Oddly enough, my husband didn’t feel like I was getting more relaxation time than him when I announced that someone had to go buy groceries.  He happily stayed home with my children in exchange for not having to be the one to deal with a grocery list.  And do you know what is great about grocery stores?  No one talks to you.

Listen, I know these ideas sound too small to make a difference.  I know what it feels like to need an ocean and have someone offer you a tablespoon.  But hear me when I say - take the damn tablespoon! It’s a start.  It’s a first step.  And it has a funny way of opening up the flood gates.

Where do you find your alone time?

Photo found here.