Over the weekend, I wrote an entire post in my head about learning to ask for help at work.  You see, the past few weeks have been really, really tough for me, personally.  We’ve had some family drama - or maybe trauma is the better word - and my work has suffered tremendously because of it.

Did I say suffered?  I meant not gotten done at all.

For the first time in my life, I’ve completely blown deadlines.  I’ve come close before.  I’ve burned the midnight oil and fed my children Cheerios for dinner, but I’ve never actually missed a deadline until this month.  And this month I missed several of them.

Of course, since no man (or woman) is an island, when I miss a deadline, someone else’s work is affected.  An editor is left with no time to edit, a client is left explaining to their client why they can’t deliver a product.  The crap rolls down (or up) hill, as they say.

This weekend I was thinking about how all of this crap rolling could have been prevented if I had just asked for help.  If I could have admitted that I was struggling soon enough, the people who counted on me to do my job would have been able to implement their own Plan Bs, at the very least.

I sat down to write this post and did a quick search of the archives here and stumbled upon an old post I wrote about keeping your personal life from affecting your work.

Guess what advice I gave you on this subject back in August?

5.  If all else fails, take time off work. Obviously, you can’t call in sick every time you and your spouse have a disagreement.  But there are times when personal issues are bigger than what you can handle on nights and weekends.  If you’re dealing with something huge (like divorce, serious illness, or the death of a loved one), it might be time to take some time off work.  How much time you need probably depends on the enormity of the personal issue you’re dealing with, your job’s flexibility, and how long you realistically need to get over the hump.  Your situation may warrant a few days, a temporary part time schedule, or a more formal leave of absence.

Sigh.

Why are we always the last to take our own advice?

The problem is, I was sure I could handle the added stress.  In an effort to maintain some sense of professionalism, I insisted that what was going on in my personal life would not affect my ability to do my job.  As a result, I had to swallow my pride and tell my bosses after the fact why I had been so unreliable in recent weeks.  Looking back, it would have been much easier to give them a heads up ahead of time than to send out an “I’m sorry I suck but this is why” email.

I keep thinking about what I could have done differently.  I’m not sure taking a “leave of absence” would have been the best route, since I was completely unprepared for how hard the stress hit me.  I think, perhaps, it would have been wise for me to play closer attention to my limitations so that I could have asked for help sooner rather than later.  Also, it may have been a good idea to let the people I answer to know that something was up and that I may need a little more time than usual, even if I didn’t end up taking it.

Do you know when it’s time to ask for help?  What are the signs you watch for?

Photo by Woodleywonderworks on Flickr.