with Britt Reints
Forget the 9 to 5; Full Time, All the Time is a blog about the mobile working life - when you have the freedom to work from anywhere and the responsibility of always having your smartphone turned on. Britt Reints works as a freelance writer while traveling fulltime in an RV with her husband and two kids. She explores balancing real-life bills with an unconventional work life, and finding time to maintain relationships with family and friends.
You can also find Britt at InPursuitOfHappiness.net.
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The phrase “it must be nice” is one of my personal pet peeves. Not that there is anything inherently wrong with the words themselves, but the apparent meaning they often come with drives me nuts.
You know the one.
It must be nice to have a great job. It must be nice to have the money to buy (insert recent purchase here). It must be nice to get to go on vacation. It must be nice to be thin.
It must be nice.
What sets me on edge about those words is the implication that the things that are, in fact, nice to have are gained through luck, genetics, or other factors beyond our control. What’s missing, it seems, is the realization that, somewhere along the line, sacrifices were made in exchange for things that must be nice.
For example, it must be nice to have a great job. However, I imagine it is much less nice to spend years studying and thousands of dollars to acquire a college degree. It is probably also less nice to work relentlessly in entry-level positions, paying dues and sharpening skills. That great job? Is likely more than nice. It is probably the current reward for sacrifices made in the past.
The radical idea of making short term sacrifices for long term gains seems to be less popular with my generation - I was born in 1980 - than it was with my grandparent’s generation. We want it all, and we want it now, and we don’t want understand why we should have to give anything up in exchange for it, either. Worse than not understanding, we seem to completely forget that we have the choice to make a sacrifice, instead settling for the notion that good fortune must be nice. Over there. For them.
I, too, have been guilty of forgetting about the unseen sacrifice from time to time.
It must be nice to be a published author, I think. But I forget about the hours I refuse to spend writing because I’d rather go to the beach, play with the kids, or just hang out in front of the TV. When I remember those hours, I have to admit that as nice as the rewards may seem, I haven’t (yet) been willing to make the required sacrifices. I’ve checked the price tag and decided that I’m just not willing to pay for that prize right now.
When did we stop understanding that making sacrifices isn’t just about giving something up, but about getting something else in return? Was it about the time we forgot that using a credit card wasn’t the same as getting it for free?
This is a pet peeve of mine, too. My oldest brother used to do it every time I saw him (and believe me, I don’t go around bragging). I used to get defensive and downplay the thing that “must be nice” so I’d be seen as being on the same level as everyone else. But one day I got sick of it and said, “yeah, it is nice. It’s very nice, and I worked very hard for it. I took heavy courseloads, did all my homework, stayed away from vices, took the risks of student loans, finished 21 years of school, worked long hours, passed 2 difficult professional exams (law & CPA), and spent my money frugally so I could pay off my $85K student loans (plus interest), pay outrageous taxes, give to charity and poor relations, and still a little left over to [go on a one-week trip to ___]. If you made different choices, that is your business.” I haven’t heard “it must be nice” from him in a long time.
To your question - what changed - I feel people have been drumming it into youngsters’ heads that people really don’t all have the same opportunities. That folks who screw up, take drugs, drop out of school, etc. are just a product of their environment and couldn’t have really made more productive choices. The logic behind this message is naturally generalized to all bad choices. It was because my mom didn’t care, or she cared too much, or my dad expected too much, or too little, or school was too hard, or too easy. There is always some excuse, someone else we can blame. Accountability needs to come back into the picture. I hope the trend shifts in relation to the wee generation of today.
SKL | May 12th, 2010 at 9:31 am
My brother-in-law ridiculed me because I accepted a job making less than 6 figures. But I’m comfortable and I have time to spend with my kid.
He fancies himself self-employed, but when his business wasn’t reaping him six-figure take-home pay he basically stopped trying. And he had the types of chances that most self-employed dream of, and squandered them.
So the last time he told me that he’d never take a job making less than such & such, I just said “and how’s that working for ya?” Startled him, but “you’ve had to file bankruptcy, you’ve lost your house, all the savings for your kids so really, how’s that working for ya?”
He doesn’t talk to me about money/jobs anymore.
Mich | May 12th, 2010 at 9:45 am
When I am on the treadmill in the gym, I often see infomercials for some workout or another: Insanity or PX90 or whatever and see the bodies that these people have and think that it would be nice. And then I realize that I do not want to put in the work required to get to that uber-fit place.
And sometimes I think it would be nice to make double what I do now, but that would require working full-time which is something I cannot do right now. Nor do I really want to.
Finn | May 12th, 2010 at 9:55 am
I do think that it tends to happen when people are feeling bitter, jealous, or unsatisfied with elements of their own lives, and sometimes it’s just easier to envy than it is to set a goal for yourself.
Avitable | May 12th, 2010 at 1:37 pm
It must be nice to be a big deal on the internet.
muskrat | May 12th, 2010 at 8:31 pm