I was talking strategy with a female colleague recently, and she gave me a piece of advice that struck me as being something that could only come from a woman.

“I think the important thing is to enjoy yourself,” she said, “because that’s when your intuition comes out.”

We weren’t talking about relationships.  We weren’t talking about office politics or how to treat people in the workplace.  We were talking about money and business strategy and things that could be profitable vs. things that may not be.

Things that have not, at least in my professional experience, always been associated with intuition.

The word intuition comes up a lot in my personal conversations with female friends.  We talk about needing to listen to it more or lament the times we have not listened to it enough, or perhaps were misdirected by it.  We are, as women, very familiar with the concept of a gut feeling acting as a guide - in our personal lives.

But the idea of intuition being a tool in business is new to me.

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I am not, by the traditional definition, a “trophy wife”.  I have worked for most of my marriage and I would have utterly failed if I my most important role in this relationship had been to “smile and look pretty”.

However, I have, on occasion, played the role of dutiful wife at my husband’s side for work functions.  Whether it’s a company holiday party, charity dinner, or backyard barbecue at the boss’s house, I am instinctively aware of my job when I accompany my husband to these events.

Make him look good.

That may mean biting my tongue when politics comes up, or playfully giving the boss a hard time about his favorite sports team.  It may not specifically be my job to talk up my husband’s talents and skills, but I compliment him just the same by being polite, charming and appropriately funny.

Is this patriarchal? Misogynistic? Sexist? Antiquated?

Maybe.  No one ever told me to act this way, I just do because that’s what one does.

At least, that’s what one does when they are the wife.

But what about when they are the husband?

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My kids are out of town and my husband and I are making the most of our days off together.  We’ve been to three amusement parks in the ten days, seen four movies in actual movie theaters, and eaten at five or six restaurants.  It’s been like a second honeymoon!

Unfortunately, we both have to hurry back from our weekends to busy work schedules, and I find myself missing out on valuable transition time.  You know, that time between weekend and working when you get your game face back on, make your lists, and generally prepare for the week?

I usually do this weekly planning on Friday afternoon or Saturday night.  If I’ve been especially busy (or lazy), I can do my planning Monday morning.  But with the last few weekends being stretched to three (three and a half) days off, I don’t seem to have a moment to catch my breath and reorganize!  Instead, I’ve tried jumping back into work with both feet.

Guess how well that has been working out.

Not very.

I have to have a game plan for the week.  I need to have a moment to breathe and regroup between play time and work time.  When I don’t get that time, I end accomplishing half the as much work in twice as much time as usual.  Fortunately, the kids will be home in a few weeks and we’ll be back to weekends spent doing homework, catching up on laundry, and watching movies on the couch.

When do you do your weekly planning?  Do you find it’s necessary to stay organized and focused?

“It never hurts to ask,” they tell us.

“You never know unless you ask,” they say.

Although it’s advice that both men and women can benefit from, women especially are repeatedly reminded of the power of asking.  We’re urged to avoid letting our social training to “be nice” interfere with our success in the business world.  We should ask for what we’re worth or, at the very least, what we want.  Over and over again, we’re told stories of people who bravely asked and consequently received more than they could have imagined.  We hear these tales of courage and fortitude and being taken seriously, and we can’t help but think, “what’s the worst that could happen?  They say no?”

Yes, actually.  Sometimes they say no.

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