with Britt Reints
Forget the 9 to 5; Full Time, All the Time is a blog about the mobile working life - when you have the freedom to work from anywhere and the responsibility of always having your smartphone turned on. Britt Reints works as a freelance writer while traveling fulltime in an RV with her husband and two kids. She explores balancing real-life bills with an unconventional work life, and finding time to maintain relationships with family and friends.
You can also find Britt at InPursuitOfHappiness.net.
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As my colleague Karen pointed out in her post “Why the death of Elizabeth Edwards breaks our hearts”, when we hear of another mother dying, it’s hard not to think about our own mortality.
Specifically, as mothers, we think about leaving our children. Conversations I’ve had with other moms have revealed that my fears about dying when my children are young are pretty universal: we worry that they’ll need us, that they won’t know how much they were loved by us. It seems that fear is even greater than the idea of us missing out on the experiences of raising our children.
We want are children to be OK. We want them to know that they are loved, in a way that only a mother can tell them.
Hearing the news about Elizabeth Edwards and reading subsequent posts has brought that fear to the forefront for me and many other mothers. Please, we think, please don’t let that be us. But the truth is, as Elizabeth herself pointed out in her last statement on Facebook, all of us know that our days are numbered. We will, someday, leave behind the people we love most in this world.
The question is not if we’ll die, or even when, but what will we leave behind when that time comes?
I’m asking myself this question today. What do I want my children to know?
I’m sure there’s more. Little things, like how to make people feel comfortable at a party, and big things, like how to apologize. It’s hard not to feel like, even if I live forever, I’ll never be able to give them all of the tools they need to navigate this great big world. There’s just so much they need to know if they are going to be safe and happy.
I’m thinking long and hard about what I want my children to know, and whether I’m actively showing and telling them those crucial things already.
What do you want your kids to know?
I lost my dad to cancer when I was 22 and the biggest lesson I learned is that life is really short and so it’s important to be take chances, and love big. I hope to pass those lessons on to my kids - plus I want them to know that people and life experiences are more valuable than material possessions. I also want them to know that they are incredibly lucky and that they need to help raise up those less fortunate because all people are equally deserving of opportunities to succeed.
Esther Crawford | December 8th, 2010 at 10:44 am
Funny but this has never been a fear of mine. I’ve always been more concerned that he will go before me. Yet another by-product of my totally screwed up path to motherhood.
But the things I want him to know are exactly the same. That and he can do anything he wants to do if he’s willing to do the work.
Megan | December 8th, 2010 at 11:07 am
This is so lovely, Miss Britt. Thank you for sharing it.
el-e-e | December 8th, 2010 at 2:23 pm
This is a reminder to try to make sure the last thing my kids hear from me is a loving thought.
When I was in the process of becoming a mom, I focused on the fact that statistically, I’d probably live to see them well into adulthood.
But now, as I see them needing me intensely, I feel my own mortality often. I’m 40 years their senior, and have a family history of cancer. I’m my kids’ 3rd mom, and I hope it’s God’s plan that I’m their last.
SKL | December 8th, 2010 at 4:01 pm