Last month, author Neil Gaiman spoke at the graduation ceremony for the University of the Arts in Philadelphia. As you might expect, his advice was geared towards people pursuing a career in the arts; a refrain of “make good art” was repeatedly met with applause. But the successful writer also offered a simple recipe for success that can be applied to any work life.
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As a working mom, it’s important to me to make time and space in my life for quality relationships with my husband and kids. It’s also important to me to make time for friends. Unfortunately, most of my favorite women have a hard time finding time for friendship.

Part of the problem is that the majority of my friends work “real jobs,” which means they aren’t around for coffee or lunch dates during the day. It also means most of their evenings are packed with family fun, dinner, and household chores. That leaves nights after kids are in bed, which is usually spouse time, or weekends, which are often spent at kids’ events or running errands that couldn’t get done during the week. The life of a working mom doesn’t have a lot of room in it for girlfriends.

What are a bunch of working women to do?
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I don’t like to spend a lot of time bemoaning choices I made in the past. It is, for the most part, a waste of mental energy - it’s not like my regret can propel me back in time so that I can do things differently. Furthermore, I believe that each day presents an opportunity to make new choices; it’s never too late to create the life you want, blah blah blah. However, as my kids get older (my oldest is going to be in junior high), I do find that there are some parenting choices I regret, choices that aren’t always easy to undo in the here and now.
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It’s not uncommon to blame children for a couple’s inability to have nice things. My husband and I, however, have no one but ourselves to blame.

A year ago, my husband and I sold just about everything we owned - including our beautiful home and my beloved shoe collection - so that we could move into an RV and travel for a year with our kids. That year of travel has come to an end and we now have room to put stuff again, but we’re not running out to replace all of our stuff. Why? Because we don’t want to go back to real jobs.

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