This weekend I met a woman who, like me, is constantly connected to her work via the magic of technology. She said she couldn’t remember the last time she’d had a day completely off, without so much as a glance at Twitter, Facebook or email for work purposes. Unlike me, however, she is an actual employee of a company and not a freelancer. What we did have in common was an apparent need to disconnect, which is why we met to share an old-fashion passion: knitting.
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You know what I love about Thanksgiving? The only thing anyone expects is food. And then comes Christmas.

My husband bought a newspaper on Thanksgiving and promptly pulled out the pages and pages of ads. "Look what a great deal on this TV!" he said while I pecked away at the keyboard on some work I wanted to get done before we began cooking.

"We have a TV," I reminded him.

"I’m just saying, it’s a good deal."

Five minutes later, as I saved the most recent changes to an invoice, he was gushing about the price of new laptops. "We have computers," I said.

"I didn’t say we had to get one. But maybe the kids…"

"No. No laptops for Christmas this year," I said. "We don’t have the budget for it."

And just like that, I both verbalized and passed on the holiday fears that had been creeping up in the back of my mind since the beginning of November. How are we going to buy all those presents this year?
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For me, winning as a working parent means finding the balance between paying the bills and enjoying time with my loved ones. It’s also having a relationship with my kids, my spouse, my extended family, my friends, my community and myself. That said, it often seems like the purpose of the game itself is to somehow find enough time and money to make all of that happen within one lifetime. For an average player like me, there’s simply no way to survive - let alone win - without using a few cheat codes now and then.
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Wednesday, October 10th is World Mental Health Day, and this year’s theme is depression. I suffer from depression, and it is one of the reasons I have chosen to work for myself for the last few years. It’s also one of the reasons that working for myself can be a very, very bad thing.

The symptoms of my depression are pretty typical. I lose interest, lack motivation, and crave sleep. When my illness is at its worse, this can go on for days. It’s tough to be a good employee if you can’t get out of bed for a week.

It’s also tough to force yourself to get out of bed - or leave the house - when you don’t have to.
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A very strange thing happened in my life recently. I hesitate to tell you because I’m afraid that you’ll hate me. I hate me a little. Of course if I don’t tell you, this post goes nowhere fast, so…

I have free time.

In fact, I have quite a bit of free time. I’ve found myself with entire afternoons free of obligation and no unfinished to-do list muddying the waters.

It’s strange. Foreign even. The bulk of what I’ve written here at Work It, Mom! over the last few years has been about my never-ending struggle to get more done in less time. In fact, I just wrote two weeks ago about whether or not it was even possible (or necessary) to achieve a sufficient level of productivity! And then, all of a sudden, I was meeting deadlines, zeroing out my inbox, working on craft projects, volunteering at my kids’ school and still having time to wander around a botanical garden by myself.

What happened?
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I’m usually proud to say that I get the temporary nature of life. Like, annoyingly proud.

When the road gets rough, I am the first to wisely counsel everyone that “this, too, shall pass.” I advise my loved ones to meditate so that they can let go of “future thinking” and stop “borrowing pain from tomorrow.” In an interesting turn of events, however, I’ve found that my emphasis on the impermanence of life has actually started to interfere with my ability to fully embrace the present.

That’s what smug enlightenment will get you.
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I am in a constant struggle to squeeze more productivity out of my day. More accurately, I am in a constant struggle to not be angry with or disappointed in myself for not being able to do as much as I think I should. Long time readers here will not be surprised by this - or to know that I have once again decided to try and do something about it - but whenever I mention my attempts to increase productivity, I am met with a bit of push-back from trusted friends who ask, “what’s so great about productivity?”
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I confess that I’d put it off for far too long; I had a feeling the news would not be good once we went. Finally, just a few weeks after moving into our new home, I took both of my kids to the dentist. I got the news I’d been avoiding: my 12-year-old son needs braces.

Hearing the dentist say the words “orthodontist” and “as soon as possible” in the same sentence put a damper on my day. Having the receptionist request more than double what I’d budgeted for the visit (no, we don’t have dental insurance) solidified my bad mood and sent me into a momentary panic.
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We are officially moved into our new home in Pittsburgh, PA.

Well, we have a couch, the kids have beds, and I finally found the power cord to my laptop this morning. We’re moved in-ish.

Yesterday, while I was picking up beds from local thrift stores and unpacking dishes, my husband was working. This morning, he left our new home bright and early to interview for potential job #2 (his possible side hustle.) While I’m eager to turn a rented duplex into a home as soon as possible, he’s anxious to bring in the cash. Almost, I daresay, too anxious.
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I got home from a 9-day family vacation at about midnight last night. In five days, my family and I are moving to a new city in a new state. And yet, in the next 48 hours, I have a full week’s worth of work to get done.

Why? Because I am constantly overestimating what I can accomplish in a day and underestimating how much time I need to decompress.
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