Hello my gorgeous, awesome, and totally put-together Full Time, All the Time readers.  It’s been a while hasn’t it?  I hope you haven’t forgotten about me while the fabulous Miss Britt held down the fort here.  I’ve been on an unexpected blogging hiatus.  I wish that I had witty reasons for my short-term leave of absence, but the truth is that life smacked in the face.  Then the gut.  Then push me down and kicked me some more.

In other words, I suffered through my first Summer Break as a working mom. Then right when I felt like I was getting it all in control, life sucker-punched me in the face with Kindergarten.

When my son finished preschool in June, we decided (and by “we” I mean, I thought I had the best idea ever) to let our son have a real summer.  We spent lots of time at the pool.  I spent countless hours shuttling between home and a morning-only summer camp.  We played outside with our neighbors.  Saw nearly every PG or G movie in the theaters. And my son finally found bravery to ride his bike without training wheels.  It was fantastic.

I also spent hours upon hours working late into the night to make up for the lost hours during the day. 
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I know a handful of women who wanted to be mothers when they grew up.

Not me.

While I love being a mother now, I didn’t spend my childhood and teenage years dressing up in sweatpants and nursing bras pretending to change diapers.  Of course, I also didn’t fantasize about writing marketing emails or making killer sales calls - so there’s that.

No, my career fantasies were much more glamorous.  It’s been interesting to revisit these dreams over the last few weeks and remember how badly I wanted to be certain things.

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Confession: I love business travel.  Now, I’m lucky that my need to travel for business is more rare (once or twice a quarter) and that nowadays it only requires a three hour drive.  But even when I traveled to lame places or had three hour layovers, I loved it.  And I didn’t feel guilty about it at all.

When I am traveling on company business, I’m not a mommy.  I am Robyn.  I am a highly-respected colleague.  I am a contributor to a team.  I am a problem-solver, a solution provider, and a subject matter expert. I feel like I’m Super-Woman instead of Super-Mom.  

The “Mom” in me is put on the shelf for a few days.  I don’t have to juggle. I don’t have to worry about what’s for dinner. I don’t have to wipe any butts.  Business travel is a luxurious break from my day-to-day reality.

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I’m grateful for my job, especially in this economy.

I’m grateful for the income, for a supportive boss, and for all of the opportunities that working full time provides for myself and my family.

But…

This week I have family in from out of town.  My dad, stepmom, favorite aunt and only sister are taking advantage of super cheap airfare deals and spending Monday to Thursday in sunny Florida.

Monday to Thursday, of course, I work a full time job.

Now, we all knew when the flights were booked that my husband and I would be working.  We accepted the fact that, while it wouldn’t be the ideal situation, getting to spend evenings together (and days with the kids) was still better than nothing.  We agreed to make the most of it and I’m determined to relish the time I have with them instead of focusing on the time I don’t.

But…

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I’m planning our summer vacation.  It’s nothing fancy – a trip to the South to see my Grandmother.  One week of hanging out in extreme humidity, eating her home-grown tomatoes, and drinking glass after glass of sweet tea.  To say I’m looking forward to it is an understatement.

Only one problem: my spouse can’t get the time off.  It’s not month-end close or end of year craziness.  It’s not that he doesn’t have the time off.  It’s because at his company people just don’t take vacation.  Like ever. At his company, it’s acceptable to take a day here or a long weekend there.  But an entire week off?  Practically unheard of.

My spouse isn’t alone.  In a study by Orbitz, the online travel company, one-third of respondents said they took five or fewer days of vacation in the past year. One in four said they felt their bosses did not encourage them to take vacations, and one in three said they stayed connected with their office via phone or computer while on holiday.

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One of my girlfriends and I recently ran away for a long weekend roadtrip.

That in and of itself is no big deal.  I am fortunate enough to travel fairly often - especially considering I work full time and have two children at home.  I also steal Sunday afternoons here and there for girlfriend time and “me time”.

I’m no stranger to balancing family and relationship time with friend and me time.

If you would have asked me two weeks ago if I knew how to relax, I would have said “Absolutely!”  I probably would have even lectured you about the importance of “learning to let go” and “taking care of yourself once and a while”.

But this weekend was different.  This weekend helped rejuvenate me and prepare me for the great balancing act of real life even more than usual.

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I take the bulk of my vacation time over the Christmas and New Year holidays.  The kids already have school off, I have at least 3 days off anyway because of the holidays, and it’s the perfect time to visit family (if you ignore the frigid temperatures and mountains of snow).

This year I’ll be missing nearly two full weeks of work and I cannot wait to get out of the office.

I think my boss is a little offended by the happy dance and “countdown ’til I’m outta here!” song I’ve been doing for the past several days in anticipation.

It’s not that I don’t like my job.  I do.  As far as places that have to pay you to stick around go, it’s a great gig.

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I used to work for a company that had a giant Holiday Party.  The company would rent out San Francisco’s City Hall, have a professional photographer, a sushi bar, and all the vodka tonics you could (or couldn’t) handle.  It was a huge affair.  And it was a ton of fun.  With employees who consistenly went above and beyond for the company, the Holiday Party was nice “Thank You.” 

For the first couple of years as a working mom, the annual holiday party was the only “Date Night” my spouse and I had for the entire year.  Our son would stay with a Grandparent and we would stay out all night… And pretend, just a little, that we were young, unattached, and child-free.  That one night out in the city was enought to sustain me for months of grueling juggling at home and at the office.

Of course, when the company hosted these parties, the economic outlook of the company and the country was in a totally different place.  People hadn’t lost their homes or their retirement savings.  Employees hadn’t been told they are getting laid off two weeks before Christmas.  Companies weren’t forecasting downturns and staff reductions. 

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What does shopping online have to do with being a working mother?

Time.

If your schedule is anything like mine (a wee bit jam packed, to say the least), then you’re constantly looking for ways to save time and be more productive.  Lining up a sitter or wasting precious weekend days to fight the crowds at the mall is, in my opinion, detrimental to my quality of life.

I do as much of my shopping online as possible all year long, but during the holiday season I find it’s even more helpful to buy most of my gifts on the Internet.

Here are a few of my favorite internet web sites for Christmas shopping:

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I brought my son with me to work today.  The holiday season has officially started.  And with it comes the School Schedule/Child Care Schedule/Work Schedule Juggle.  What a wonderful world it would be if businesses kept the same vacation schedule as elementary schools!

Maybe I’ll put that on my Christmas Wish List for this year.

In the mean time, I’m thinking of another list.  Today I’m making a mental list of all the things I’m grateful for - as a working mom, as a wife, as a daughter and a sister.  As a woman who wears many, many hats that give her lots and lots of reasons to be grateful.

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