I work pretty hard at being happy. I work even harder at finding peace and calm, at acknowledging what I can’t control and letting go of my desire to try anyway. I’m probably more aware than most of my state of mind at any given moment, and I feel a fair amount of responsibility about what that state might be.

I suppose that’s why it pisses me off so much when anxiety or fear come calling.

Of course, none of us likes anxiety or fear. As a species, we go to great and sometimes ridiculous lengths to avoid these cold, prickly feelings. Our instincts are to run from, ignore, or push down that which keeps us awake at night.

As a species, we’re kind of stupid.
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I declared this the year of good health . I acknowledged that taking care of myself was better not only for my personal health and happiness, but for my business. I decided to start with small changes, like getting up and doing yoga every morning.

I made it five days in a row.

I don’t even know what happened. I have continued to go to bed at a decent time and get up early, but instead of doing a bit of stretching, I opened my computer and went to work right away one morning. By the time I realized what I’d done, I was pretty solidly into the flow and couldn’t tear myself away for 30 minutes of deep breathing and stretching. Before I knew it, a week and had gone by and I hadn’t so much as touched my toes.
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One of the things I appreciate about my lifestyle - that of a digital nomad who lives and works on the road full time - is that I am pretty much the boss of everything. I decide when I’ll work, play, and sleep. I pick which projects I’ll work on and which I’ll turn down. I get to choose whether I’ll accept or negotiate deadlines. I eat breakfast at noon if I want and have no consequences for spending the entire day in my pajamas. As you might imagine, it takes a fair amount of self discipline to keep this train on the tracks, what with no one waiting to tell me what to do.

I tend to keep that train moving by focusing first on activities that pay me. Specifically, I start my day with the highest paying tasks and move on down the list according to dollar amount and proximity of deadline. This perfectly sounds logical, yes?

Unfortunately, no one pays me to brush my teeth.
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One of the biggest advantages of working remotely - flexibility - is also one of the things that makes working on the road so difficult. Like many people, I love routine and am most productive when I can quickly get into the flow of creating. Airport lounges and unpredictable hours can make slipping into a working frame of mind a slower process, which equals less work done on the road.

Unfortunately, I live on the road right now. All of my work is done from a “remote” location and so I’m constantly adjusting to a new environment. However, some weeks require more flexibility than others, like when I’m on a short business trip or press tour. These trips are loaded with travel, meetings, tours, and very little downtime. The downtime I do have is usually spent at an airport gate or on an airplane, or in a hotel room after 9 o’clock at night. Of course, I have my laptop with me in these places and can almost always access the internet — so what’s the problem?

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I am one week into living and working on the road. Here’s what I’ve realized:

I spend way more time working that I thought.

I set aside an hour in the morning to work and spend all of it checking email, writing exactly nothing. I tell my family I’ll work a little bit before we hop back in the car for our next destination, only to find it takes me four hours to do two hours worth of work.

Apparently I have no concept of how long a task will take me. I’m not sure how this hasn’t become an issue before now; I guess because there was no one standing by and watching my hours stretch past their original boundaries of schedule.
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This is the last post I’ll write for Full Time, All the Time from the comfort of anything resembling an office. This is probably also the last week I can reasonably claim to work “full time.”

One week from today, my family and I are moving out of our suburban home and into a 24 foot travel trailer RV. For the next year, we’ll tow that portable house all over the United States with our old SUV, working and living in cities and campgrounds that promise free or cheap WiFi. My kids are calling it The Biggest Vacation Ever, but I won’t exactly be on vacation. I’ll still be working - although hopefully less than full time - because someone has to pay for the campground fees and cereal.

Things, they are a-changin’.

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I had to call my husband after he’d left for work and apologize for being such a - er - not nice person this morning.

I ended up hanging up on him about 15 minutes later.

I’ve had to apologize for my crankiness repeatedly over the last few weeks, and I wouldn’t blame my family if they were starting to doubt my sincerity. I really am sorry and I do intend to be less crabby in the future. Really.

But I’m running out of ways (and time) to relieve a boatload of excess stress right now.

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I need some advice, and the fact that I even have to ask this question is embarrassing so I’m going to attempt to lessen the mortification with a little back-story justification.

Last week, I mentioned that I find myself compulsively checking email, Twitter, Facebook and other social media sites on my iPhone throughout the day. I don’t do it because I’m dying to know what is happening online, but rather because I am temporarily bored.

I check it during the commercial breaks of my favorite TV shows or during the opening credits of a movie we’re watching on DVD.

I check it between work projects.

I check it if I’m stuck in a waiting room, amusement park line, or multi-floor elevator ride.

It’s as if I don’t know how to just stop and be still for a few moments.

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Three weeks ago, I wrote about my latest efforts to prevent email from taking over my day. In order to reduce the amount of time I spent dealing with email every day, I was going to try:

• Checking email twice a day
• Setting a timer when I check my email
• Not using GMail as my homepage
• Turning off all unnecessary notifications
• Setting all group emails to digest mode
• Unsubscribing

Has my brilliant plan worked? Have I tackled the sprawling time-suck monster that was my email inbox?

Partially.

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You know what the worst thing is about having my kids home for holiday break?

Wait.  I love having my kids home.  I love that we aren’t dealing with the morning arguments about getting ready.  I love that we can stay up late watching movies because they don’t have to get up early the next day.  I love the bike rides and the shopping trips and the extra snuggles and time together.

But I hate what it does to my schedule.

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