There were some questions on my first post. Let’s chat!
1. Are you and Linda S. the same person? No. Linda and I also work together on her site SundryBuzz.
2. Where are the cute Target earrings?? Hidden by my hair.
3. Are these your kids’ real names now, or still the pseudonyms you use on your Swistle blog? Still pseudonyms. Those are their middle names.
4. You are so pretty! I thought you’d be fatter! Thanks! But I AM fatter. When I was choosing a photo from the few hundred I took, I wasn’t thinking, “How can I get a picture that accurately represents my age/fatness, and do you suppose they’d let me include a supplementary shot that shows my stretch marks and saggy tum area?” No, I was thinking, “How can I get a picture that makes people say, “You are so pretty! I thought you’d be fatter”? If I could have gotten away with posting a photo of Drew Barrymore, I would have.
Here’s a photo I rejected. I may not be sixteen, but here I look FIFTY-FIVE (I see my fuuuuuu-turrrrrrre!) and like I’m married to a politician. (Whatever I’m doing there with my expression/posture to make those saggy folds, I am never doing it again.) But you CAN see my cute Target earrings:
(Swistle, age 55)
(cute Target earring)
Or here’s one where I have my hair tucked behind my ears, which is what I do within 2 seconds of styling it in the morning because it drives me crazy to have hair touching my face. This is how my hair actually looks as I go about my day. But I did not want Hair Accuracy, I wanted Hair Awesomeness. And what is that I doing with my facial expression? Am I simpering? Also: jawline. Also: FOREHEAD. Also: the rounded shoulders of a person who reads and writes rather than going out into the healthful fresh air.
Or how about this one? DORK MUCH??
Also consider: You know that diet I’ve been boring riveting you with over on the Swistle blog for over 2 months now? I was not lying to you when I said it has been going well. You BETTER tell me I look skinny, because I have given up a LOT of brownies!
5. What are your skin secrets? More on this another time!
6. Is your mother-in-law going to find you online now? My name is common enough that I think it’s unlikely. But I try to follow Linda’s advice of assuming other people WILL find it. (I don’t do a very good job, but I try.)
7. How did you come up with the name “Swistle”? Boring story: My family calls me Swis, which comes from a childhood mispronunciation of my name. When I needed a blogging pseudonym, I added various end-sounds until I came up with one I liked. Voila! “Swistle”!
8. Is it okay if I still call you Swistle? PLEASE DO. I think of MYSELF as Swistle now!
Did I miss anything?
Next up: SHORTER POST.
I certainly feel your pain on the Looking 16 thing, but nevertheless I must take issue with your claim of looking “fifty-five” in ANY of those pictures.
You are dewy young sprite!
Also, this has not (YET?) come up on my Reader and so I’m wondering if your posts are on the same feed? Or is this just another “Google sux” issue?
Tessie | May 6th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Tessie: It comes up on my Google reader? Maybe you need to manually input the feed link?
Swistle: If you look fat and/or 55, I’d like some brownies and 25 years, please.
AndreAnna | May 6th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
I think you look great, and you still look young! And skinny!
I love the earrings. (I was looking for them in the group photo guess too.) And I do the same hair tuck thing. I can’t stand it on my face. (Or I just wear it in ponytails when it’s long like it currently is.) But if I’m trying to get a picture of myself to share, I’ll always wear it down/untucked. Silly.
I am still sad that there will be no children’s names revealing, but I’m happy to know that those are their middle names. Something you said recently made me wonder if they were. I’ll be happy knowing that.
Mommy Daisy | May 6th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
I love the rest of the photos. Had you have posted the cheesy grin one, I’d have picked you out in an instant! My hair is always constantly behind my ears, unless I am posing for a photo. I hate it in my face. Even in the so-called-you-look-55 photo, you look about 25.
Saly | May 6th, 2008 at 2:03 pm
Actually, I LOVE the one with your hair behind your ears. You look so cute and frisky! And somehow, very approachable.
moo | May 6th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
I have those same cute Target earrings! Now I can be cute and young like you. How awesome is THAT? And how awesome is it that my teenage son picked them out and urged me to buy them?
Laura | May 6th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
You look great in all those pictures. The dorky one is my favorite.
Also, I can’t stand hair in my face either, so I’m constantly tucking as well.
JMC | May 6th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
You do have lovely skin. How do you look so different in each picture? I had originally dismissed the picture you ultimately chose for the banner because it didn’t seem like the face/head of a tall woman! But you totally look tall in the rest of the shots. Weird.
LoriD | May 6th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
First, your little freckles on your nose are totally cute. I think freckles are the best ever because they give faces more personality.
Second, before I read and I was just looking at the pictures, I was like “she’s 55? NO WAY!!” So no, you do not look REMOTELY CLOSE to 55.
Amber | May 6th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
gaaah the hair tuck. i look SILLY with my hair tucked (big ears! prominent forhead! flat hair!) and yet that is how i spend 99.999999% of my days. le sigh.
you are ADORABLE! and definitely swistle.
also: OOOH THEIR MIDDLE NAMES!??!
Alice | May 6th, 2008 at 3:38 pm
I was so excited that I correctly guessed your name that I forgot to congratulate you on the new writing job. Congrats!
-R- | May 6th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
I wouldn’t have said it out loud, but I really did think you’d be on the chunkier side, too. You look divine. I like the dorky last picture the best.
& you’ll always be Swistle to me.
Shelly | May 6th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
I had to laugh at the “I thought you’d be fatter!” because that’s essentially what I posted. But I do have to say that I love you even more for posting the rejected photos. Hee!
Jill | May 6th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Hilarious! I love seeing all the pictures you took of yourself (then rejected). That is something we all do!!!
Barb @ getupandplay | May 6th, 2008 at 5:07 pm
Freckles: I know, right!
Paul | May 6th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
I’m so excited by all the photos of YOU! I love having a face with a name (which will ALWAYS be Swistle).
Jennifer | May 6th, 2008 at 6:32 pm
I swear to God, I’m laughing my ASS off over here. For starters, it is not the saggy folds you claim to have, for honestly, you still look great. It’s your resigned super-professional expression that screams Hillary Clinton. That’s totally a politician’s head shot — or maybe a lawyer. You’re all, yes, I am here for the flight to Bosnia, where are the rockets and sniper fire, please? I’m ready, sir!
Also worth noting: If you’d posted that first photo in the bunch, I NEVER would have chosen it and would have been lost and disoriented. My version of Swistle never wanted to be President.
jonniker | May 6th, 2008 at 6:52 pm
I am 28 and you look younger than me in all of those photos. And I am single and childless. Just so you know.
Abacaxi Mamao | May 6th, 2008 at 8:40 pm
You look EXACTLY like my step-daughter. I am thisclose to calling the FBI and having your DNA tested to make sure you aren’t a time-warped pandora’s box version of her. Wait. Did you come back in time to kill your step-mom? I guess that wouldn’t cause any problems for you, so far as your existence goes. Being that I’m not your grandfather or related to you by blood in any way. Can I panic now?
angela | May 6th, 2008 at 10:09 pm
LOVE THIS! Yay! I will call you Swistle forev!
The other photos of you cracked me right up. I thought you looked lovely in all of them, but your comments about yourself were hilarious.
I really reeeeally need to know your skin secrets. I am 31 and break out like a teenager. It’s embarrassing.
Erin | May 6th, 2008 at 11:17 pm
If it’s possible, you look cuter in each successive photo…
Also? You do NOT look fifty-five, you have an awesome jawline in all the photos and I LOVE to see the extra, less-perfect shots, as you look like someone with whom I would TOTALLY have tea and chocolate-dipped things.
And also, also? I KNEW that you would have great teeth!!
the new girl | May 6th, 2008 at 11:44 pm
Angela- Next post: “Are you and my step-daughter the same person?” “No.” That is so funny: wouldn’t it be weird if your step-daughter and I were actually related and we just didn’t realize it? Ask her if she has any relatives named Kristen!
swistle | May 6th, 2008 at 11:47 pm
I paid through the teeth for those great teeth. Well worth it!
Swistle's Dad | May 7th, 2008 at 12:10 am