Last week we talked about gift ideas for people having financial problems. This week we’ll talk about another trouble-spot: gift ideas for people who don’t want anything.
This is not the same as the problem of people who already have everything—also known as the “she has Waterford crystal for 24, what’s left to buy?” problem. Instead this is the problem of buying for someone who wishes the holidays weren’t so commercial and says, if asked for gift ideas, “I don’t know—I don’t need anything, and I already have so much STUFF.”
This is one of the few situations where I’d recommend the Charity Gift: normally I think it’s poor form to give away someone else’s present for them, especially in a way that makes them look like a selfish ass for not being delighted at the news that they themselves will be receiving nothing. But for someone who really would rather NOT receive something themselves, it can be the perfect solution. If you know someone well, you may already know their favorite charities and can pick one and make a donation in the recipient’s name; if not, I’m fond of the kind of charity where you can buy something fun, such as a flock of chicks or a hive of bees or a bunch of trees. It adds whimsy to the gift, and gives the recipient something specific to imagine.
Another idea, if the recipient has a yard, is a tree or shrub. A person might feel as if his or her house is overflowing with STUFF, and yet still be pleased to have a blue spruce for the back yard. This might require spoiling the surprise ahead of time, since the recipient would likely want to have input on what kind of tree—but since winter is not a good time to plant trees anyway, a gift certificate to a local shop that sells trees would be a nice way to handle that.
A recipient who drinks coffee is easy: coffee doesn’t add to the “too much stuff” feeling, because it’s a supply and it gets used up—and yet it’s still a treat to receive. Starbucks offers coffee/tea “tours”, where the recipient is sent two coffees/teas to try each month for three months. Or, this can be combined with the charity idea, above: The Arbor Day Foundation, for example, sells coffee gifts that support the tree-lovin’ cause.
For someone who likes to cook or bake but doesn’t want any more equipment, expensive ingredients can be fun to try. Scharffen Berger has a baker’s gift set, and Williams-Sonoma has a finishing salts collection.
I was thinking one of those “wine of the month” or “beer of the month” clubs would be a good idea, but I looked it up and WHOOO BOY those get expensive. But you could go to the store yourself and choose several bottles of nice wines to sample, or a bottle of very expensive liquor.
If you are yourself something of a baker, you could make your own treat-of-the-month club: give a box of brownies or cookies (they freeze well, in case the recipient has too many bakedy things around), with the promise of a treat each month for the next six months. For this idea, one must first spend some time in personal reflection, asking oneself if one is the sort of person whose follow-through skillz are up to this.
Dear Swistle, what are you doing up so early?
Happy thanksgiving!
Melissa | November 24th, 2010 at 8:30 am
This is totally me and that’s why I have an Amazon wish list so as I see things throughout the year that I would like but wouldn’t buy, I add them to my wish list. When my MIL despairs that my birthday is a month before Christmas, my husband has a few ideas all ready for her.
I love the idea of stuff that gets used up - coffee, fancy treats - and I also like practical stuff I wouldn’t buy myself like those off measuring cups (2/3rds, 3/4s. etc), the Glee Christmas album, a set of steam ion curlers, my subscription to US weekly are a few I have on the list right now.
Linda | November 24th, 2010 at 11:54 am
For my parents, who don’t need/want a thing, I give them the gift of time and elbow grease. I have painted their bathroom cabinets and garage door, cleaned their gutters, re-webbed some lawn furniture and countless other odd jobs. They would normally either attempt these projects themselves or hire someone, so they really appreciate the gift and aren’t shy about asking me to do things for them.
LoriD | November 24th, 2010 at 1:33 pm
Some of these seem pretty affordable, and you can give a gift of just two months instead of a whole year. http://monthlyclubs.com/
Annika | November 24th, 2010 at 2:21 pm
I LOVE these ideas! The Starbucks tour and the finishing salts are now both on my “highly probable gift ideas” list.
Life of a Doctor\\\'s Wife | November 24th, 2010 at 2:37 pm
Several years ago I gave my dad cookies of the month - made by me and shipped to him - because my parents don’t need more stuff and my mom is perpetually dieting and, therefore, refuses to make cookies etc (don’t even suggest my dad try - he’s 75 and old school that way). It was a huge hit.
Also, I am one of those who can never think of things I want so last year I requested gifts to charity for Christmas and was so SO happy that the family complied. My house wasn’t filled with more stuff and I feel like maybe we did a small bit of good in the world.
Maggie | November 24th, 2010 at 5:11 pm
I have given two different people a wine of the month club gift, but I just did the three-month (instead of the six- or twelve-month) option. I think it was around $100, so it was still expensive, but not as bad as the cost of a full year.
-R- | November 24th, 2010 at 6:14 pm
I am this sort of person - worse actually, because I feel that I have too much stuff AND I am very picky. But I love ALL of your ideas. Especially the shrub/bush idea, and the bottle of booze idea. Now if I can just find some way to beam this my mother using ESP…
Elizabeth | November 24th, 2010 at 6:26 pm
My parents are these types of people, so I’ve taken to giving them American Airlines gift cards. They can use them to come visit me and their grandson! It’s a gift that is ALWAYS appreciated.
Sarah | November 24th, 2010 at 7:36 pm
This applies to most of the people I know, so sorry if this is a novel.
I am a big fan of consumbables but nicer versions than they would usually choose for themselves. Nice salon shampoo, fancy jams or honeys, nice stuffed olives, hot chocolates, good cocoa or a brick of callebaut for baking, fancy crackers and cheeses, or a stack of fancy chocolate bars (which for some reason cause less guilt to eat than a box of chocolates).
Last year I gave an ‘Italian meal basket’ with a bag or two of very pretty colourful pasta, a big jar of nice oregano or a packaged dried bunch of it, a wedge of good parm (which lasts for a long time), maybe some dried mushrooms and unusual deserty-type things. If you’re feeling cheeky you can even add in a couple of heads of garlic. Use a collander or a salad spinner as a basket to make it more practical.
You could pay for a subscription to a newspaper or a magazine (national geographic is quite reasonable). My family got together and paid for my grandmother’s cable one year and that worked so well it was an ongoing thing (which still registers as the biggest thing we have ever pulled over on her, she died believing cable was free and smugly watched her soaps with nice, crisp images).
There are produce companies that will deliver baskets of organic (or at least fresh) veggies once a week or every second week–if they are older having some heavy veggies delivered is a very nice thing.
On the donation theme, you could (for an animal lover) put together a huge kit of goods–squeaky toys, blankets, towels, treats, or a tree (and some cash) and donate them to a no-kill shelter. Give the person you are gifting a quick picture of what was donated in their name or a picture of a pup/cat that looks happy sitting on or sniffing the pile of goodies.
This year I am also going wth the theme of practical things that make the recipient a bit greener: pretty and reusable sandwich bags from etsy, pretty but reusable produce bags (etsy again), silicone lids for bowls to replace saran (hallelujah), and the ubiquitous canvas bags that you can find printed with either something pretty or something nerdy (you have to love etsy).
bunnyslippers | November 25th, 2010 at 3:10 pm
My favorite charity gift to give or to receive is a Gift certificate to Kiva.org. The person can go to the website and search through people from all over the work who are trying to start a small business, but need a very small loan to get started. Once you’ve loaned your money to them, they eventually pay it back and you can reloan it to someone else! My mom has been loaning the same $25 for about 3 years now and really likes to pick her person and track their progress. I think it’s basically the perfect charity gift.
Jillian | November 28th, 2010 at 6:43 am
one year I gave my dad a tin of home baked cookies. He loves goodies and my mom doesn’t bake. I told him I would refill the tin whenever he wanted me to. it’s been several years, and 2 moves later and he still brings me that tin!
Jess | November 28th, 2010 at 3:10 pm
One caveat on the booze of the month…they are great gifts, but because you are *shipping alcohol* someone has to be there to sign for it. So it’s will not be left by your door…you have to be there to take delivery.This worked poorly for my boyfriend, who had to work from home once a month to receive his booze…the day after they tried to deliver and left a note saying they needed a sig.
So…might work if they have an office it can be delivered to. But I would never have alcohol delivered to my office. Would not go over well.
Gwen | November 29th, 2010 at 4:39 pm
Kiva is a great charity-gift. The recipient can be very involved in choosing the recipient of the charity/loan. They can then do it all over again when the micro-loan is repaid. It’s a wonderful organization and the gift receiver can get his hands in the process.
Amanda | November 30th, 2010 at 3:26 pm
My brother and SIL are like this. We sometimes get them tickets to a show or game they’d like to see. Not STUFF, and consumable, but entertainment!
Jenny | December 4th, 2010 at 12:16 am