That’s kind of a specific title, isn’t it? I expect the items we come up with will also work for non-relatives staying in non-hotels.
I am hoping to access the wonders that live in your skulls and come up with a list I can use right now—but that we all can use if/when we need it in the future. You were so helpful with the party favors thing and the face moisturizers thing (I’m going to try Olay Complete first, because I found a bottle in the cabinet, but after that I will probably have to say eenie-meenie-miney-mo because there were so many appealing suggestions).
Let’s say you have a relative, not in your immediate family but not distant either. Aunt-level sort of relative. And let’s say the aunt-level relative is going through something tough of an uncertain-outcome-bedside-vigil nature, and could use little carepackagey gestures of the sort that could be sent to a hotel room (as in, not a lot of stuff she would then have to lug home with her afterward).
The question is, what sorts of things would you send? I am thinking bakedy things (brownies, oatmeal cookies), but what ELSE?
Maybe some more nutritious snacks: can of almonds, bag of dried cherries, jar of Nutella. Sustaining things. Some pretty paper napkins.
I just read a book that suggested that nutrition drinks were a good idea at times like these, since people in stressful circumstances sometimes fail to eat, or have trouble making themselves eat. But it seems like that works better for someone local to drop off: I’m imagining a huge heavy sopping-wet box of broken glass. And maybe she’s not having trouble with eating, in which case it seems weird—like, “Er…thank you for the box of…Ensure?”
Celebrity magazines? Would those be a light distraction, or are those too “WHO CARES ABOUT AMERICAN IDOL AT A TIME LIKE THIS??” Plus, I suppose waiting-room-type areas would be well-stocked with such things. Would light paperbacks be better? Seems like if they are too light, the feeling would be “WHO CAN READ ABOUT SOME DIPPY GIRL’S SELF-IMPOSED DATING PROBLEMS AT A TIME LIKE THIS?” But on the other hand, it’s hard to imagine someone in a stressful situation wanting to settle down with heavy literature. Perhaps a book like A Window Over the Sink: soothing, friendly anecdotes, easy to put down and pick up anywhere because there’s no strong plot thread to follow.
Maybe a special easy face mask treatment would be relaxing. Nail treatments? Those moisturizing gloves you can sleep in? One of those little blindfold things for taking naps when it’s light out? My favorite Bath & Body Works Lavender-Vanilla aromatherapy (relaxation/comfort/sleep) lotion and body wash?
Flowers, maybe. I was thinking we could call a florist near the hotel and ask for three small arrangements, all different: one for the bathroom counter, one for the table, one for next to the TV or bed.
A bottle of scotch.
A box of See’s chocolates with the warm-weather shipping prices to show additional love.
Do you have more suggestions?
Crossword-type books?
Nowheymama | June 8th, 2011 at 12:13 pm
Nowheymama- Ooo, good one! Sudoku, or word search. Or those geometric coloring books with a pack of colored pencils.
swistle | June 8th, 2011 at 12:19 pm
When my mother had surgery last year and was really out of it the first two days I sort of just sat in her room alone. I didn’t want to do much but it wasn’t high entertainment either. These are some things that might have been enjoyable.
A book of puzzles
Some small bills for the cafeteria - coffee, a drink, parking, a newspaper etc
Antibacterial hand wash - yes the hospitals have them but it’s no Bath & Body Works
(I’m going on a hospital assumption here, but may be way off)
Snacks
I did a lot of crochet - does she do any lap craft that can distract her?
I’m an avid reader but I didn’t read much at all…
Amanda | June 8th, 2011 at 12:27 pm
What about a life-affirming kind of magazine, like O? (Oprah)
Things I keep thinking of are music or games to download to an iPhone, but when it comes to specifics . . . tough.
If there’s a Starbucks in or near the hospital, a gift card, maybe?
Frondly | June 8th, 2011 at 1:10 pm
I like those Edible Arrangements, too…the ones that are made out of fruit. SLIGHTLY more practical than flowers, but still cheery.
Tessie | June 8th, 2011 at 1:18 pm
Gift cards to restaurants that will deliver to the hotel. I’ve stayed in hotels for work for weeks at a time, and getting out of the hotel to get something for dinner at the end of a long day at work can feel insurmountable. I can’t imagine trying to do the same after a day of intense fretting/caring for someone.
Sally | June 8th, 2011 at 1:53 pm
What about a cute notebook and a pen? Sometimes it helps to be able to write down what you’re feeling during a stressful situation.
Elisabeth | June 8th, 2011 at 2:26 pm
The only thing I can think of is a small 4×6 photo album with pictures of the family with a note saying how much she means to us and that we are thinking of her. Kind of a visual reminder that there are folks out there who care about you. Too schmaltzy? And you would kinda have to ‘lug’ it home. Even though it would easily slip into a handbag.
Misty | June 8th, 2011 at 2:28 pm
Burts Bees makes a great, small, hand and foot pamper pouch with a zip top. It would be easy to mail. They also have one with a “head to toe” theme that includes a body wash and moisturizer. You can find these at Target. I like the hand and foot one for your circumstance, because the kit comes with little tins of hand salve and cuticicle cream. Both are good when your hands are fidgety and you need something to do with them. And, they smell really nice. I’ve given both kits as gifts for people I know and included one in a gift for an expectant mom to take along in her hospital bag.
Susan | June 8th, 2011 at 2:54 pm
Ear plugs? A nice eye mask? A travel size set of toiletries? I’m thinking things that will make the hotel more comfortable but she won’t have time to track down on her own.
Barb @ getupandplay | June 8th, 2011 at 3:37 pm
oh, what a great post! I lived this 2 years ago when my father was being treated for cancer at a facility 6 hours from home. Family took turns traveling and staying with him in a hotel across the street from the hospital for many months. You are right in saying you want small and/or useable things because you eventually have to pack everything up to come home and hotel rooms get quite small after a few days! My suggestions would be Itunes (or other online source) gift cards. Downloading music, books, tv shows, and/or movies to a laptop or handheld device helps with the boredom. Light reading is also great–trashy magazines, fun easy reading novels. I definitely did not want to read anything emotional or heavy when going through that time. Puzzle, word game type books are also good as well as small handheld puzzle games. Sustaining and filling snacks are good as well as good old fashioned junk food. Gift cards to nearby restaurants, grocery stores, gas stations would also be helpful. If any of them deliver, that’s a huge bonus!
Therese | June 8th, 2011 at 3:50 pm
It depends how far you are.
Long distance package: Lip balm and lotion are good because hospitals are so stinkin’ dry, fruit snacks (leathers or those veggie bars) might be nice because that’s part of you diet that is easy to neglect with cafeteria or quick restaurant food (and it’s easy to tuck into a purse), maybe some nice almonds or something in snack packages (or a variety of these–buy a few boxes and send one or two from each), a pretty travel mug and some tea bags or instant hot chocolates or decent instant coffee or a variety of those drink mixes (to get them out the hotel room door quicker in the morning), and baked goods in a series of small baggies for easy purse storage (or if you want to go green, a big bin of brownies and a reuseable sandwich bag). Or snacky, night time things for the hotel room like some microwave popcorn. If they are young, maybe some yoga paws to use at night (in lieu of a bulky yoga mat).
If it is something you can deliver yourself: fresh stuff like fruit, a package of those sugar peas, or a bunch of small yogurts.
I also wish I had a good reason to spend $20 on this nice bowl:
http://shopaladdin-pmi.com/detail/TCL+10-01030-001
Oooohh!! Maybe the bowl and a pack of nice granola as an easy take-it-with-you breakfast? (Am I weird? I would want it.)
Can you tell it is almost lunch time and I am hungry?
bunnyslippers | June 8th, 2011 at 5:08 pm
I was thinking..a deck of cards, word search/activity books, and the geometric book with the colored pencils is BRILLIANT. If there are others involved in the scenerio (kids, siblings, spouses, etc.), a cribbage board, travel games, or those really quick card games like Blink or Spot It. A spiral-bound note pad and pen. Water bottles and Crystal Light packets (or something similar) to add to it. A TV Guide. Maybe a cute pair of slippers/slipper socks?
Stacie | June 8th, 2011 at 6:56 pm
I was just in this situation and would have liked a notebook to write important things down or perhaps use a journal or for the kids to draw, etc. Also, socks or other comfort items (mostly because i don’t like to walk barefoot on hotel floors). Instant coffee/creamer and granola bars/biscotti. Also, travel size items–especially woolite or something to wash clothes in.
Lindsey | June 8th, 2011 at 8:51 pm
I like the idea of gift cards to restaurants that deliver, you could call the hotel for suggestions, I hate being stuck in a hotel looking for food
When a friend was staying in the hospital with her son last year I put together a gift bag all from Walgreens
I like magazines because there’s no commitment pressure on the reader, I’d go with something more fulfilling than celeb stuff The Sun is my favorite
My gift bag included chocolate truffles, a magazine (something about clean eating I think, specific to her tastes and something she might not have found on her own) and I don’t remember what else because it was also a gift for her son so it included a Mickey Mouse activity book and markers
Maybe a handheld game? I liked my lighted solitaire game before I got the iphone
Love the idea of a nice mani-pedi kit and maybe slippers or just cozy socks
The only other thing I can think of is calling the hotel to see if there are services they provide that you could credit to her account Room service? Spa services? Pay per view movies?
vegas710 | June 8th, 2011 at 9:40 pm
I really like the suggestions posted, esp. for the restaurants-that-deliver gift cards. Only other thing I can think of would be one of those fancy candles that comes in a tin for travel, because hotel rooms have that antithesis-of-homey smell.
Jenny | June 9th, 2011 at 1:08 am
I thought of one other thing. I’ve been extremely lucky to have only once had a relative in Big Hospital Trouble. Everything turned out well, but I still remember that getting laundry done was the biggest PITA during that time. Maybe you could scout for a fluff-and-fold service that picks up and delivers, and do a gift card?
Jenny | June 9th, 2011 at 1:24 am
when my grandmother was dying far from home the most helpful things were light books that can be picked up and put down whenever. I like light essays for this. I wouldn’t go full on David Sedaris because he is so associated with humor (although actually I might do his most recent collection of animal tales) but Sloane Crosley, Susan Jane Gilman, folks like that. And I always love Anne Lammot when things suck. Her books on spirituality might be a bit on the nose, but Bird By Bird is obstinately about writing but really about everything.
Gift cards for places that deliver is a great idea. Lots of chains will do them too, and of course those are the places that often deliver.
Are there spas nearby that you could get her a gift card too? My mom used to get massages while she took care of her mother, and it REALLY helped. even better–this is what we did–if you can find a massage therapist to come to the hotel when she gets back at the hospital. top that off with some good smelling bath oil, maybe?
vanessa | June 9th, 2011 at 3:37 pm
How about something like a Target/Walgreens gift card? When my Dad was in the hospital 4 hours away from home a few years ago, his stay was extended unexpectedly. It is much easier to rewear shirts, pants, etc., but downright disgusting to rewear things like underwear. I washed them out in the sink at night, but they never dried well. They also did not feel as clean to me as throwing them in the washing machine. She could use it for things like that or lotion, more shampoo, etc. Even if she knew she was staying and had time to pack, there’s always something *I* know *I* forget when I pack to go places.
Plus a trip to Target is always a mood lifter for most people, even if she just mostly window shops! I would think she’d welcome a distraction for a half hour or so.
hobbychanger | June 9th, 2011 at 3:59 pm
Coloring books, crosswords, sudoku, etc. Something to occupy hands and minds when books are too intense and cell phone games are too busy.
Granola mix! I recently made a batch of mix for some friends who would be staying in a hotel while the husband had surgery. It was kid-friendly enough for their almost 2 year old, but so so yummy for the adults, too. (My “recipe”: Granola (I prefer to use french vanilla- or chocolate biscotti-flavored), dried mangos sliced, dried pineapples sliced, dried cranberries, chocolate chips, peanut butter chips. It’s super easy to supplement/add things, too.)
Tara | June 9th, 2011 at 5:49 pm
If you’re thinking Ensure, rethink. It doesn’t taste very good. Carnation Instant Breakfast, on the other hand, tastes really good. When my mom was dying (sorry to be a downer) of cancer, it was one of the only things she could stand - even at the very end.
Sudoku or puzzles are good. If she has an iphone or ipod, an itunes gift card is good bc she could download games or even books. Or if she has a Kindle, an amazon gift card.
Travel sized things are good. If you do the beauty treatment route, I’d go for small sizes, though. Maybe some nice, thick hand lotion?
A notebook or extra pens - nice pens like the new sharpie for writing on paper.
Flowers are cheery, but I don’t know that you need 3 arrangements. Maybe if she is there for a long time, you could space them out over the weeks.
Oh also hand sanitizer that is mixed with lotion. Because you your hands get so rough when you put alcohol on them every five minutes.
I hope things work out for the best. Please let us know what you decide to do. Ultimately, ANYTHING you do will be appreciated, I am sure. It’s nice to know someone is thinking of you because sometimes you just feel so alone and helpless when you are sitting there.
And that reminds me - CALL her. Text her. If she doesn’t want to talk, she won’t pick up. Just leave her messages that say, “Hi, I love you, and i’m here if you need me. You do not have to call me back. I just want you to know I”m thinking of you.” My friends did that for me when my mom was sick, and it really helped.
Anonymous | June 10th, 2011 at 6:56 am
Ditto to Tessie on those floral-looking arrangements made out of fruit! You can get them usually with some chocolate on some of the fruit, so still a treat, but also has a bit of nutritive value if they haven’t been eating very well.
marilyn | June 11th, 2011 at 6:56 am
Someone mentioned Woolite, but I would also add the Purex sheets that are both detergent and dryer sheet. They are super lightweight, get the clothes nice and clean. Doing laundry in hotels is a big pain, and just having the box of Purex really makes things simple. I used the fragance free, but I think they have some lavender scented ones.
Maureen | June 14th, 2011 at 7:24 pm
Nice soft socks for kicking around the hotel room.
Quarters and laundry soap for the washing machine if she’s going to be there a while.
I second the gift cards to local restaurants.
Really good lotion, since hotels and hospitals tend to have very dry air.
Packets of oatmeal, etc, that can be made with hot water for those times she wants to eat something hot, but not wait for room service or delivery, or have to face people.
liz | June 27th, 2011 at 8:11 pm