Ha ha! Like I’d know!
It is very tricky to buy a Valentine’s Day gift for a guy. (Unless you don’t celebrate it, or think it’s a dumb holiday, in which case it’s not tricky at all.) I’m sure there ARE a FEW guys who enjoy getting flowers and chocolates and sentimental love notes. But in general I think a lot of us are stuck: it’s a holiday about sentimental/romantic love, and the established gifts are things that most guys are not keen on.
When we try to write them a hundred little love notes, or tell them what they mean to us, we’re giving them what WE’D want, not what THEY want—and that’s pretty much the opposite of romantic. (Many of us wouldn’t want the flowers or the chocolates or the hundred little love notes either, but that would be for another post.) I still remember the total failure of the Valentine’s Day symphony tickets I got for my high school boyfriend. “We get to dress up and go listen to romantic classical music with grown-ups!” He probably felt about that the way I would have felt if he’d gotten me a set of socket wrenches.
The goal, I think, is to find guy-romantic: not “Fine, let’s go make out in the car, then,” but something that actually shows some of the romantic spirit. I like to do this by finding something I think Paul would really like to have, and then imposing romance forcefully upon it. One year he had been complaining about his feet being cold and his slippers being worn out, so I researched and found him a pair of expensive down slippers. Here’s how I imposed romance: I got him something HE wanted, not something I would have wanted; it was something that showed I cared about him and his comfort; it was something that showed I was listening to him; it took away a chore he didn’t want; the slippers were red, and red = Valentine’s Day. (Or Christmas. Or bull-fighting. But on February 14th, red = valentines/hearts.)
Another year I made his favorite foods, finicky things I didn’t usually like to make. Here’s how I imposed romance: they were foods he liked, not necessarily my favorites; they took a lot of effort; it showed I was thinking of him and what he would like; I made them heart-shaped/red when possible, and hearts/red = Valentine’s Day.
Another year I got him an old book by an author he likes, and it happened to have the word “Love” irrelevantly in the title so I called that close enough. It took effort to find the book (published about 80 years ago, and I wanted a nice copy); it showed I cared about what he would consider a good present; and yet it had Love in the title so it TIED IN TO THE THEME.
Other years it’s seemed like way too much trouble, and it’s no fun to get a present a guy feels wearily obligated to buy, so I’ve said “Let’s just not do Valentine’s Day,” and then I’ve ordered myself a heart-shaped box of chocolates.
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Have you had any luck finding Guy Romance stuff for Valentine’s Day?
Last year I got my husband some little things that weren’t necessarily romantic, but could be made that way with little notes.
-A card game: “Because together we’ve got all the right moves.”
-His favorite candy: “Because you’re so sweet.”
This year he’s getting a goofy gift: http://www.thinkgeek.com/clearance/9352/, and a bar of chocolate.
Shopping for guys is HARD, especially when they’re difficult men to shop for anyway! Thanks, Swistle, for helping us out!
Tara | February 8th, 2012 at 3:21 pm
I am stumped for this year, but in years past I have done themed date nights. One year we went on a Shanghai tunnel tour (wandering around in basements downtown to see some trapdoors and old decrepit bunks were people smoked opium) and out for Chinese food. Another year I went a sort of High School date idea–we went to a HS basketball game, out for cheeseburgers, then to a book store to pick out and discuss our three favorite books.
This year I’m probably just going to make him a fancy chocolate dessert of some kind. Seems lame but we can’t afford much more than than this year (and adding the cost of a babysitter makes me want to cry).
meanliving | February 8th, 2012 at 3:26 pm
We don’t do presents for the most part. We have 4 kids, so typically presents just for the sake of presents seems like a waste of $. We do a Valentines candlelit dinner every year at home with the kids. We grill fancy steaks (for him!) make a fancy chocolate dessert or fondue (for me!). I bought cheap wine glasses at goodwill for the kids to drink their milk of sparkling juice out of. We shut of all the lights and light candles. He gets steak, I get chocolate, the kids get something out of the ordinary, and somehow it’s romantic!
Missy | February 8th, 2012 at 6:19 pm
We are taking a trip in March, so I said the Hubs last night maybe we could do a card-only Valentine’s Day this year. Even though I really don’t like buying him cards because I find ten years worth of cards I bought stuck randomly around our house (they don’t mean a whole lot to him) but I hate to see the day come and go with NOTHING. I usually buy steaks, or something else more expensive than usual, to make for supper and we have a “fancy” dinner with the kids. I told him if he’d like to include a poem in the card, that would be okay with me. We’ll see if he’ll take the very obvious hint. Or directive. Whatever.
Melanie | February 9th, 2012 at 1:37 pm
I am giving him an “arrangement” of all kind of candy bars
He likes Candy bars. I picked out something I liked at a store, and he bought it. Easy, peasy. 
Lala | February 10th, 2012 at 6:35 am
I bought US a present.
This way we both get something! He wanted a new beer mug. I got us each a matching beer mug engraved with
NAME
Est. (year of birth)
Then he saw the box and asked what was in it and I told him, and he purchased fancy beer for us to drink.
Not surprising, but I think it will be very satisfying for both of us.
SIL Anna | February 13th, 2012 at 4:22 pm