Many of us are snowed in for the long haul at this point, and the rest of us are sick of hearing people talk about snow, and the sign at the oil company says (with satisfied-cash-register sounds in the background, I’m pretty sure) that there are still 47 days until spring, so let’s have a happy little contest, okay?
My worst Valentine’s Day gift was not SOOOOO awful: it was a single red rose and a red plush teddy bear with an “I LUV U” applique. I’m not even saying these were, objectively-speaking, awful: from another guy, to another girl, they could have been just the ticket, and at least the bear did not luv me “beary much.” They were awful TO ME, from this PARTICULAR boyfriend, because what they communicated to me was, “Your suspicions are correct: I’m shallow and not very bright, and I can’t think of a present that someone else hasn’t arranged in a store display as something I should buy for a particular occasion, and also I have poor taste in stuffed animals, and also I’m being cheap with the single-flower thing but trying to get credit for being Meaningful by calling it a ’single, perfect’ rose, as if it really IS more perfect and special than the ones sold in dozens.”
My second-worst Valentine’s Day gift was from a boyfriend who was in such a tricky situation and had such good intentions he gets SOME points for it: we were both nervous about Valentine’s Day because it was at an awkwardly-early point in our relationship so neither of us knew what to do about it, and what he decided to do was get me a heart bracelet from a gumball machine—you know, sort of a kitschy-cool gift that would be funny and not-too-serious but also not completely ignore Valentine’s Day. But since I’d gotten him something much more expensive (cringe) (CRINGE), he then felt super-awkward about it, and I admit I’d been hoping for a “ardor of a new relationship” kind of present, and anyway it just didn’t go well and it’s not a good memory.
So! This week we are going to do a giveaway, in an attempt to make up for someone’s past disappointment (_I_ have two boxes of See’s chocolates I bought for myself, so I think I’m all set). To enter, leave a comment on this post by Tuesday, February 8th, so I can announce the winner in my next Wednesday’s post. You can tell your own bad Valentine’s Day gift story, or if you don’t have one, you can tell one that happened to someone you know. Or if you don’t have one of those EITHER, you can leave a comment saying something you wish someone WOULD get you for Valentine’s Day.
Well.
I walkedinonmyboyfriendsleepingwithsomeoneelseonValentine’sDay.
True story.
Though, in the end, it really WAS a FANTASTIC GIFT, because I realized what an ass he was and ended things El Pronto. I’m so grateful I didn’t spend a SINGLE DAY longer with him…
Marie Green | February 2nd, 2011 at 5:34 pm
A guy I was about to break up with once knit me a pair of fuzzy pink legwarmers. They were awful. I think it was for valentine’s day, but I’m not sure. It certainly wasn’t the 80’s.
Sally | February 2nd, 2011 at 5:35 pm
My boyfriend at the time (eighth grade) decided he liked another girl better, so to break up with me, he drew a picture of a pair of cowboy boots on a piece of notebook paper with the note, “I’m giving you the boot” and dropped it in my locker. Wah wah.
sara m | February 2nd, 2011 at 5:39 pm
Hmm, we’ll I’ve gotten NOTHING many times so maybe that should count. Although… I’m not sure that’s a gift. The year we were getting married I was on a serious diet and my now dh got me a huge box of chocolates. Not a horrible gift, but not very thoughtful.
Devan | February 2nd, 2011 at 5:52 pm
I have never gotten a gift for Valentines Day, despite having been in a relationship on every Valentines day since I was 16 or so. So pretty much all of mine have been great because I don’t celebrate and would be more irritated if I did end up with someone who thought giving me a gift was a good idea.
Mary | February 2nd, 2011 at 6:01 pm
A guy once braved the worst blizzard we had that winter and almost risked his life (it was really dangerous out there) to bring me a huge bouquet of roses. He was almost in tears when he explained how he almost risked his life to get it for me, but it was worth it because I was the love of his life.
I was not at all interested in him other than as a friend, so it was REALLY awkward. I felt so horrible about breaking his heart that I felt the rest of the night curled up on the couch feeling nauseous.
Oy……
Naomi | February 2nd, 2011 at 6:07 pm
I dated the same guy all through college - it was my first real relationship and it was serious (we were living together, and I’d bought him a promise ring after about 2 years. He loved it). I waited for years for a similar ring in return, and of course every Valentines Day (which would be the obvious time to give it, as it was also our half anniversary!) I was disappointed by its absence. In the long run it worked out (I broke up with him during our last year of college, and now we’re both happily married to other people and with kids on the way!) but OH the devastation when I got a fish tank instead of something more symbolic
Carolyn | February 2nd, 2011 at 6:13 pm
My truly horrifying gift stories are all from Christmas, not Valentine’s day (and also involve “so early in the relationship it’s hard to figure out what to give” awkwardness).
My most memorable story will always be Valentine’s weekend 2009…I experienced a wave of nausea reading your blog archives (a post about morning sickness with Henry) and had a sudden “OMG I’m pregnant” jolt. The hubs and I were going out to celebrate a day early to avoid the crowd, and I was so sure that I only ate cooked sushi and limited myself to a few sips of plum wine. I took a test the next morning (Valentine’s Day), and the rest is history. This definitely doesn’t answer the “bad gift” question, but it makes it impossible for any future gift to compete!
Laura | February 2nd, 2011 at 6:13 pm
I can’t really think of a bad gift. I too spent YEARS hoping for an engagement ring (9 years of dating before getting married) but got really good OTHER presents so I can’t really complain.
I’m hoping to get the same gift I got last year, a bouquet of chocolate covered strawberries from Edible Arrangements! They were SO good and so thoughtful since they were remembered from an off-hand comment weeks before.
SallyG | February 2nd, 2011 at 6:28 pm
I worked in a florist, and I saw some wacky valentines’ gifts–a dozen orange roses, someone who wanted to mail a rose in a manila envelope, and the worst offense–planning to deliver the flowers the day after V Day as a sort of practical joke…?
Caro | February 2nd, 2011 at 6:29 pm
I’m really hoping for a gift certificate for a manicure, or to Sephora, or a day at the spa…are gift certificates romantic?
Stephanie M | February 2nd, 2011 at 6:32 pm
I’m going to buck the rules and tell you that I, for once, feel that I might have a good idea this year. It’s not even my idea. It just fell into my inbox from Groopdealz. {sigh} I suck at Hallmark holidays. They just make me feel icky and forced and BLAH. We try not to do anything but make the family feel loved.
Amanda | February 2nd, 2011 at 6:37 pm
Oh dear. Well, Torsten and I have failed at Valentine’s Day pretty much every year. Our first year together, we went to a restaurant that is probably good pretty much every other day of the year, but had an outrageously overpriced prix fixe menu that also wasn’t very good. And then my gift was a DVD about learning German. THAT was… well, not very romantic. Though maybe the implication that he assumed that our relationship was serious enough that I would NEED to learn German was romantic, in retrospect? But really? No no. And then the next year was the whole not-purple-flower debacle, and REALLY, I don’t think we need to revisit THAT particular episode. Suffice it to say that we don’t DO Valentine’s Day anymore, and we are much happier because of it.
Jess | February 2nd, 2011 at 6:53 pm
Well, I had been seeing my boyfriend for nearly a year when Valentine’s rolled around. So I made him a giant candy bouquet with his favorite candy bars.
He showed up empty handed. I got mad and he hauled it to the store to buy the “single rose” bullshit. Still, I spent a lot of money! He spent two BUCKS! And only because I pitched a fit.
He was a giant ass. Still is, probably.
Although this may be the root of my firm stance of gifting with my husband: “If I have to tell you to do it, it doesn’t count.”
Misty | February 2nd, 2011 at 7:02 pm
Ok, I am going to say this, but PLEASE do not feel bad for me…things worked out for the best and life is good. Promise
I got a phone call Valentine’s morning from my then-husband saying, “Make a reservation for wherever you want to go to dinner. Make it for 6.” So I did. And my husband never showed up home to pick me up. FOR 6 DAYS. He never really gave a valid excuse, didn’t apologize and needless to say, that was the day I put on the divorce papers as “Date Marriage Was Irrevocably Broken”. Or whatevs. Have never looked back
Stacie | February 2nd, 2011 at 7:07 pm
My husband of several years (now ex) gave me the cheapest looking basket filled with crappy faux chocolate, a mangy stuffed bear and this red confetti stuff that bled everywhere. There were bits of red stuff left where ever that ugly basket was set. SOOOO glad he’s not my husband anymore!!
Emily S. | February 2nd, 2011 at 7:12 pm
My boyfriend once gave me a gas cap for Valentine’s Day. A GAS CAP. And he gave it to me to replace the one HE LOST when filling up my car one afternoon in Louisiana (I was the one paying for the gas, obviously). I mean, worst idea ever is to give someone something for Valentine’s day that they were SUPPOSED TO REPLACE ANYWAY. But AUGMENT the gas cap with FLOWERS or something.
(No such luck.)
Emily | February 2nd, 2011 at 7:13 pm
So my high school had this horrible tradition of selling carnations for Valentine’s Day every year. But here’s the thing. You’d buy them to have them delivered to the recipient in school. So every single class period on Valentine’s Day, someone would come in with a stupid handful of carnations and hand them out to the recipients. So every single class period you would have to practice your NOT HOPEFUL face and be all composed and I-don’t-care-at-all-about-stupid-carnations, when really you were crying inside because WHY DON’T ANY HIGH SCHOOL BOYS LOOOOOOOVE ME?!?!
After three years of that, nothing that happens on Valentine’s Day, short of declarations of divorce, could be worse.
Stimey | February 2nd, 2011 at 7:21 pm
I have two worsts.
Worst number one is of the cringe-worthy kind - I was in high school and I was madly in love with this boy, and I purchased a big lovey-dovey-type present for him including a stuffed animal and some boxers with hearts on them. I went to his house before school to give it to him, and it turned out that a) he hadn’t gotten me anything and b) he wasn’t even THERE because he’d gone out of town on a band trip that he’d forgotten about. So, no Valentine’s present, no Valentine’s date, no notice that my Valentine was going to be absent entirely. It was so humiliating. (I am blushing for my high school self as I write this.)
Worst number two is more of the “funny awful” variety. It was a pair of thong underwear from Victoria’s Secret. And you might think, “Well, that’s not so bad” EXCEPT… it was from a guy who wasn’t my boyfriend (yet - although that’s another story)… AND I was a junior in HIGH SCHOOL… AND I opened it in front of my very conservative parents, who were sort of stunned and (I’m sure) deeply disturbed… AND his best friend, who was dating MY best friend, got my best friend the EXACT SAME PAIR of thong underwear. (It was a very intense kind of underwear, by the way… Like, just a couple of strings held together by magic.) It was hilariously, ridiculously horrible.
And now I am off to read the other stories. This is a wonderful alternative to hating the endless winter!
Life of a Doctor's Wife | February 2nd, 2011 at 7:42 pm
I wish that someone would get me some Ben and Jerry’s Mint Chocolate Cookie that I could eat without the danger of my clothes not fitting afterwards =).
doing my best | February 2nd, 2011 at 7:58 pm
My worst gift was rather like yours, Swistle. We had been dating for two months, but were spending every waking (and non-waking) moment together. He had recommended his massage therapist to me and I loved her, so I bought him a gift certificate for an hour long massage. He got me a box of conversation hearts. Uh…yum?
BKC | February 2nd, 2011 at 8:16 pm
My senior year of high school a guy a dated much earlier brought me a huge bouquet and box of candy, declaring his love for me. I had no idea this was going to happen and had no interest in him.
Of course, he did this early in the AM and we had classes together all day. Awkward.
BeccakBecca | February 2nd, 2011 at 8:22 pm
I once gave an elementary-school “boyfriend” an appliqued throw pillow I made myself. And a bag of M&Ms as both our names started with M. Because every eleven-year-old boy wants an APPLIQUED THROW PILLOW. I think I put his name on it or something, but still. Ugh. I still cringe at the thought.
Meggan | February 2nd, 2011 at 8:36 pm
I can’t remember any really terrible v-day gifts, since it’s been so long since I’ve gotten anything at all. The hubs isn’t big on “hallmark” holidays. As I’m currently 8 months pregnant - a box of my favorite bakery donuts sounds fantastic. Barring that, a night away from kid #1 before kid #2 gets here would be nice. (is that weird that I would rather have yummy treats than a night away??)
Shari | February 2nd, 2011 at 8:40 pm
Not really a horrible gift itself, but here’s my worst Valentine’s Day story. Husband and I were 6 months into dating and not into a big romantic deal. We went out to a fun restaurant with our good friends, all fun and all. The bad part was that I got food poisoning, and spent the next two days absolutely MISERABLE. And it was the first time I was sick and living all the way across the country from my mom. I’m still traumatized.
My high school did “pay for a message in the special edition school paper” for Valentines. So we all did had to pretend it was no big deal if we didn’t get one but still scour the messages for one. By junior year we wised up and my friends and I bought funny ones for each other.
phancy | February 2nd, 2011 at 9:35 pm
Mine wasn’t an awful gift, just awkward considering the giver. I got a set of pajamas (harmless, flannel pants and cotton shirt). But it came with a thong and bra. Not lacy, just red cotton, but…it was from one of my fourth grade students. I’m guessing (hoping) Mom just didn’t look carefully when shopping, or maybe regifted it without looking or something. ???
Suzannah | February 2nd, 2011 at 9:46 pm
I don’t have any bad stories . I’d love a trip to Venice, Italy for Valentine’s Day. hehe…
Aubreylaine | February 2nd, 2011 at 9:50 pm
If I could ask for anything this Valentine’s Day, it wouldn’t be jewelry, flowers, or even chocolate. Someone send me a housekeeper!
Julie | February 2nd, 2011 at 10:00 pm
I can’t even remember really getting any Valentine’s presents, good or bad, from a boyfriend. Last Valentine’s Day, however, my godfather drove an hour to my apartment and left a heart-shaped tinsel wreath on my front door, along with a little card from him and my aunt. It was so thoughtful, and it still makes me smile to think about it.
Buttercup | February 2nd, 2011 at 10:51 pm
delurking!
i had high hopes for valentines day last year
first valentines day with current boyfriend
technically also one year anniversary
also first valentines day with someone worth dating for more than 2 months.
no card.
no chocolates or candies.
no roses.
carnations
i had boughten him a ring, beautiful card, and gift bag of candy.
OH the disappointment and sadness.
ive gotten over it
and am hoping for a card and roses this year!
Coral | February 2nd, 2011 at 11:18 pm
These had me alternately laughing and cringing!
All I want for Valentine’s Day is for my husband to clean the shower. I told him that’s what I want and he’s totally on board. Romance, for the win!
We haven’t had a history of celebrating Valentine’s Day- when we were dating he was in a band and always had a show that night. And now that we’re married, I’m cheap and I’d rather get flowers from him at a normal price on any other day of the year.
Barb @ getupandplay | February 2nd, 2011 at 11:44 pm
We don’t do Valentine’s Day stuff so I can’t think of anything. Can I count my porny turtles from this Christmas? No?
Well, this year I would like to upgrade to the iPhone 4 for Valentine’s Day!
vegas710 | February 2nd, 2011 at 11:48 pm
My worst gift was the year that my husband said, “What? I didn’t think I was SUPPOSED to get you anything on Valentine’s Day.” Obviously, he only did that ONCE.
Mary O | February 3rd, 2011 at 12:33 am
When I was in 7th grade, all of my friends and I were dating 8th grade boys. For V Day, we all decided we would get them each one of those giant hershey kisses. Except none of us had money or cars, so I was nominated to be the 12 year old that would go and procure 7 giant hershey kisses. So my mom kindly took me to the store a week or so before V Day and I bought 7 giant hershey kisses. The salesladies TOTALLY tsk tsked me for being too young to be buying a boy a V Day gift and my mom was all “it’s her money and her life, she can do whatever she wants and look as rediculous as she wants.” Long story short, the boys had all made a V Day plan of their own - they had decided to break up with all of us on the same day, a few days before V Day, so that they wouldn’t have to buy us gifts. Ahh, junior high romance…
[P.S. My school sold carnations, too, except it was in elementary school. And, yes, I still was disappointed every year that no one sent me one. ]
Katey | February 3rd, 2011 at 1:18 am
My college boyfriend got me a yo-yo for Valentine’s Day. A YO-YO. We had been dating about 4 months. It wasn’t even an ironic gift, although I think he thought it was cute (I didn’t).
Mandy | February 3rd, 2011 at 5:43 am
I’ve been lucky, I guess; I can only think of really good Valentine’s gifts, even from past boyfriends who turned out to be lame in the end.
SO, what I would like for V day this year is a box of nice chocolates, FLOWERS, I don’t care if they’re from Publix, and a new handbag that my DH picks out for me (as if!), or a gift card to Charming Charlies so I can pick it myself.
el-e-e | February 3rd, 2011 at 1:11 pm
I got bath salts last year from my ex boyfriend. Seriously? I don’t know why he bothered when we weren’t even dating. Unless he was trying to rub the salts in the wound. Ugh.
Corey | February 3rd, 2011 at 4:21 pm
last year–I got hives for Valentine’s day. And my husband got a serious cold… so yeah worst “gifts” ever. In fairness, I gave him the cold and the antibiotics gave me the hives.
Jodie | February 3rd, 2011 at 4:25 pm
My worst V. Day Story is… .. Going to a hole in the wall place which we loved to find out it was closed….. after repeatedly being reminded by the better half- have you checked its opne? I am like- Its V day, it has to be.
Rest of the evening was well…. gone fighting!
Garima | February 3rd, 2011 at 7:42 pm
My worst valentines day was last year actually. My boyfriend of one year decided that he would take mo out to this fancy restaurant in town. I was seriously excited because he’s a major cheapskate and for him to do some thing like this was special. On Valentine’s day morning I received 2 dozen lilies on my front porch( he knew I hated roses) and a pack of gummy worms( lol I hate chocolate also) from him.
He picked me up later that day and complemented me.Everything was going great until we got to the dinner part. He told me to order whatever I wanted since it was our special day, so I ordered a pretty expensive fillet Mignon. As we were laughing and just having a good time he blurts this out really fast…” I love you and all, but my girl-friend found out about you and she’ll leave me if she catches me with you,” At this point my mouth was gaping wide. He must have been worried that I would make a scene because he started to get up from the table. I started cussing him out and just bawling my eyes out while the other dinner guests watched on. It was the most embarrassing moment of life.
The punk ran out of the restaurant, but I did not run after him as I was feeling pathetic enough . So on the most romantic day of the year I was left with a $195 bill and lost the guy I thought I would be with forever. I gathered what little dignity I had and left the restaurant.
Demetra Mensah- Bonsu | February 4th, 2011 at 2:37 am
worst Valentine’s gift ever–a live turtle!
VirginiaMom | February 4th, 2011 at 4:06 pm
A $5 bill with “I hope we are always friends” written on it. Presented right after he broke up with me. He then presented my BEST FRIEND with a $5 bill with “I will always love you” written on it.
Not a good gift for either of us. Major FAIL!
mamaerin317 | February 4th, 2011 at 8:22 pm
In high school, there was a balloon/flower ordering fundraiser in the office, so of course on the day every girl got something…right? One year, I was single (I should’ve been single EVERY YEAR) and got embarrassed when I boy I didn’t fancy got me something from that order. I accepted it and thanked him, but it was AWKWARD. I don’t remember gifts from the years, or dates. I guess that as much as I like this holiday, I haven’t really committed any to long-term memory.
Melanie | February 5th, 2011 at 2:47 pm
I was dating a guy for about 9 months when he gave me a plant….well multi plants in a basket. I was VERY disappointed but married him anyway…..
C C Donna | February 5th, 2011 at 7:37 pm
The best was an anonymous card stuck into my college mailbox. I had many delicious hours pondering who loved me secretly.
The worst was roses and chocolates from my then soon-to-be ex, who was trying to make up for years of mistreatment. Fail.
Donna | February 6th, 2011 at 4:24 pm
My two worst are Mr. P gifts—our first one he gave me a gold bracelet that had I heart you stamped over and over. Ugh. Then about 8 years ago he forgot and drove through a grocery store tent in his way home and he got a 5 foot plastic rose. Awful. Awful.
This year I gave him the website for a necklace I want. It got here yesterday. Score!
HotchPotchery | February 7th, 2011 at 6:07 am
I would get one hundred red roses….
Barbara | February 7th, 2011 at 2:49 pm
When my husband and I first started dating, our plans for valentine’s day were low key, just go to happy hour at Houlihan’s, cheap drinks, cheap eats. He picked me up and told me he had a surprise for me…..he had shaved his winter beard off to a mustache with ‘handlebars’. I couldn’t even look at him without laughing, he looked like such a sleazy guy. We made a stop at his house so he could shave it off before dinner.
Fast forward to 2009….we entered a radio contest for a Valentine’s Day wedding, not ever thinking we would win. Turns out we DID win and were getting married on Friday, February 13th. Before we even got engaged, I had booked a girls cruise with my best friends, leaving at 8:30 a.m. on Saturday, February 14……
So, I got married on the 13th and my new husband DROPPED ME OFF AT THE AIRPORT at 6:30 a.m. the next morning to fly to Panama with my best friend for a 7-day cruise. Talk about a GREAT husband!!
This Valentine’s Day we will be spending it at home with our baby girl
Liz | February 7th, 2011 at 6:25 pm
Something shiny is always a nice Valentine’s gift!
Sharon | February 8th, 2011 at 1:54 pm
Good: Long distance boyfriend came to visit me, in the middle of the week.
Not So Good: Same day, he gave me as a gift: A stack of cash (romantic!), which I had to explain to him via spreadsheet that he kind of owed me, due to me driving to see him EVERY WEEKEND (on my poor-ass grad school salary). I mean…it was good, that he squared things up, but it felt wrong to do it on Valentine’s Day, you know?
Katie Mae | February 8th, 2011 at 2:10 pm
Oh lord. I was 16 and my boyfriend of the time and I went to different schools. We didn’t make plans for VDay, both having school things happening. I bought him a card, though, and we talked on the phone that night. He only mentioned VDay on the phone that night in reference to the card that his grandma sent him… turns out, it was the same funny card I’d bought him- making fun of the holiday. That was the end of that guy.
The next year, I was again dating a guy from another school. Don’t remember what happened on VDay, but I don’t think it was mentioned. TWO DAYS LATER he showed up at my school to have flowers delivered to me. Making things worse, they were dead carnations. Delivered to my school, 2 days late. He was a senior (so it wasn’t a transportation issue), with a job (he could buy flowers), and his school was less than a mile from mine (no reason he waited to deliver them). Needless to say, that was the end of that relationship as well.
I was dating hubby by VDay my senior year, he went out of his way to make it a good holiday. In the 15 years since, he’s slacked a bit and doesn’t usually do anything for VDay anymore (”but you don’t even LIKE Valentine’s Day!”) but he did try when we were younger.
Ugh. Just thinking about this makes me grumpy.
BlondieSpeaks | February 8th, 2011 at 3:50 pm
A scentless candle, because I liked candles but he hated the smell.
Gee, thanks!
Michelle | February 8th, 2011 at 3:58 pm
I don’t care if it’s random selection. Marie Green wins.
I received card/candy/rose from one of my best friends in college, who was already engaged to his now wife. It was kind of sweet and yet clearly a pity gift to try to cheer me up.
Nowheymama | February 8th, 2011 at 3:59 pm
My worst was in high school. It was so obviously a last minute panic purchase of a candy bar from the gas station with a post-it that said “Happy Valentines Day”. The note wasn’t signed or anything. Ah high school romance.
Melissa | February 8th, 2011 at 4:02 pm
I also was one of those girls that never received the carnations in HS. In fact, I was not one to received gifts for V. day. I think in college I got a thong from my boyfriend. And as far as my husband is concerned… well, some years are good. (flowers are always a win) and some years I’m lucky if I get a card.
heidi | February 8th, 2011 at 4:06 pm
My worst V-Day was definitely from my college boyfriend. He gave me a silver platter engraved with our names and the date we started dating. I was a college sophomore living in a little dorm room…silver platters didn’t really fit my decor or space.
alexa | February 8th, 2011 at 4:07 pm
i can honestly say i dont think i’ve had terrible gifts at valentine’s– a lot of “oops, i forgot” but it was never a big deal.
that said, the best valentine’s day was one i spent with a dear friend of mine, curled up on the couch watching movies and eating ice cream. oh what i would give to be able to do that for a full afternoon again…!!!!!
aly | February 8th, 2011 at 4:17 pm
Oh, I have a cringe-y story.
I had been dating this guy for over a year when V-Day rolled around. I bought a dozen roses and snuck into his apartment, and I hid the roses around the room with a little note on each one about something I loved about him. Then I cooked him a fancy dinner and had a nice bottle of wine and a candlelit table waiting when he got home. I was also dressed up and wearing heels, and I’d written him a heartfelt card.
And he got me….NOTHING. Not even a card. He said Valentine’s Day was a manufactured holiday and thought it was silly.
And yet, it still took me several more years to break up with him…
Lawyerish | February 8th, 2011 at 4:24 pm
My husband makes me “fajita dogs” every year for Valentine’s Day - a hot dog, wrapped in a tortilla with cheddar cheese and BBQ sauce. I know it sounds like a weird tradition and a terrible gift, but it suits us perfectly.
Although this year I would not object to a professional pre-natal massage as well!
Felicia | February 8th, 2011 at 4:24 pm
I don’t have a bad Valentine’s Day gift, mostly because I used to insist my husband NOT get me anything. This year though, he asked me if I wanted anything and I said, “Flowers. But not on Valentine’s Day.” So he wanted to know if I wanted them the day before or the day after. Sigh. I think the point, it is missed. If I TELL you I want flowers for no reason, it pretty much negates the thought put into buying me flowers, doesn’t it?
The last time I got flowers was when my son was born, 14 months ago. And they were from my EMPLOYER.
Christy M | February 8th, 2011 at 4:28 pm
I love this topic! I feel like every Valentine’s Day has sucked for me in the romantic sense since having kids four years ago. How sad! I love any excuse for chocolate and flowers.
EB | February 8th, 2011 at 4:30 pm
Mine would have to be from High School. I believe it was 9th grade. My school did Flower grams and my best friend decided since neither of us had a boyfriend she was going to send me a flower gram and signed it with a random guys name, and she sent one to herself as well. They were delivered during our last period class (which we shared) and when My name was called I was actually so embarrassed I just wanted to hide. I knew no guy would really send me a flower, and it made me feel horribly desperate even though I had nothing to do with it.
Tiffany | February 8th, 2011 at 4:32 pm
We decided this year that christmas was TOO CRAZY. so we’re exchanging our holiday presents on Valentine’s Day. I know that sounds abhorrent to some folks, but for us, it’s perfect. We’ll have good food, we’ll spend time together, we’ll exchange thoughtful, non-commercial gifties and we didn’t have to wrap it all when we were getting ready for the holidays.
Better, by far, than the “What? you LIKE flowers?!? How was I supposed to know that?” moments of the past.
Rianne | February 8th, 2011 at 4:37 pm
One year I was driving somewhere with my (now-ex) husband on Valentine’s Day. He drove up to a 7-11 convenience store, ran in and came out with a lumpy envelope. Inside was a card meant for someone’s mother, and one of those pens that has, like, 6 colors in it (you push down the lever to make it write in that specific color…do they still have those?)
Yea, worst gift ever…totally no thought or planning whatsoever.
Wendi | February 8th, 2011 at 4:40 pm
My soon to be ex once got me the most tacky nasty horrible music..statue of two wolves running down a stream or something It looked as if he got it from the dollar store.
He was -so so proud of it- and all I could do was just smile smile smile until I could hide it. It was -hideous-.
Jessica Sides | February 8th, 2011 at 4:43 pm
A crockpot. Worst gift ever.
Though to be fair, it wasn’t for Valentine’s Day. It was my birthday. But to make it just that much sweeter (in the awful, stupid sort of way), it was a large crockpot that came with a wee little mini one inside it, in the package— and when I opened the “gift”, the boyfriend actually TOOK THE LITTLE CROCKPOT, FOR HIS VERY OWN. Because he “could really use this little one” for doing some stuff in his art studio.
To recap: he gave me a very crappy and weird gift. And then he TOOK PART OF IT BACK, TO KEEP.
Awesome.
Whimsy | February 8th, 2011 at 4:44 pm
Okay, I don’t really have a good one. I would want one QUIET night alone with my husband at a semi-expensive place where I get to wear a pretty dress & not have to worry about bending down to answer questions or wipe snot with my hand. The end.
Jennifer Mc | February 8th, 2011 at 4:49 pm
worst valentine’s gift? let’s see… a trip to the store to buy groceries so that i could cook a nice romantic dinner. HA!
beyond | February 8th, 2011 at 4:53 pm
I can’t think of my worst Valentine’s Day … I am guessing I have blocked it out.
This year I would love to have a nice date with my husband, and then sit on my couch in comfy pants. Being 8 months pregnant - I am not really looking for a lot. OOOO - Although having him paint the nursery so I don’t have to would ROCK! [I am the world's worst painter].
Leah B | February 8th, 2011 at 4:54 pm
My story involves two bad gift-giving experiences, but they deal with my own gift-giving mistakes, which I offer as a cautionary tale for everyone else out there.
For Christmas during my last year of high school, I got the guy I had been dating for a few months a cute little fishbowl with a couple of the adorable googly-eyed goldfish in it. We hung around at my house for a while, and then I got a phone call that a good friend of mine was in the hospital with meningitis and likely wasn’t going to make it. When it came time to drive my boyfriend home, he brought the fishbowl into the car, and then made a few awkward half-comments about not knowing what to DO with the fishbowl, which I didn’t understand at the time but extrapolated later to mean he didn’t want to take it with him, because he BROKE UP WITH ME when we arrived at his house. On Christmas. On Christmas, when I had heard such terrible news about my friend (who passed away later that evening). The guy called a couple of days later to “check in” and said the goldfish had died within 24 hours of him getting them home.
A couple of years later, I gave my now husband a hamster for his birthday, which was awesome and appreciated, except it almost killed his roommate, who it turned out was deathly allergic to hamsters.
So, you know, I would suggest that maybe living creatures are not the best gift to give someone, no matter the occasion.
Lauren | February 8th, 2011 at 4:54 pm
I got one of those really cheap mirror/candle things (unwrapped) that you would see at a work grab bag or Yankee swap. After I broke up with this philandering boyfriend, I realized he must have bought them in bulk to hand out to all the women he was secretly seeing.
Melissa | February 8th, 2011 at 5:06 pm
Well, last Valentine’s Day my friend had a six-month-old baby, had just discovered she was pregnant again (the babies are 13 months apart), and her husband came home in the middle of the afternoon and told her he was leaving her.
So, yeah, that one is pretty horrible.
I don’t really have any horrible Valentine Day stories of my own. I never got a carnation in high school, either, but for whatever reason it really didn’t bother me. On Valentine’s Day freshman year in college, however, the guy I was head-over-heels in love with sent me a gorgeous bouquet of flowers.
I married him six years later.
(And he has no memory of sending me the flowers. But I still have the card, and therefore PROOF!)
Keryn | February 8th, 2011 at 5:12 pm
My now-husband-then-boyfriend bought me a lamp. Not a pretty Tiffany-style lamp, either. And I hadn’t suggested that I needed one - you know, “man, it sure is dark here in my tiny one-bedroom apartment. I could really use a lamp.” No, I was actually full-up on lighting at the time and he got me this cheap big-box-store lamp.
I married him anyway, but now we just ignore Valentine’s Day.
Erin | February 8th, 2011 at 5:14 pm
One year in college the guy I had been dating FOR THREE YEARS gave me a card that said “Happy Valentine’s Day, Tight End” and had a picture of a football player on it. I got him a very nice, very expensive watch. He got me an offensive card and that was it. Blech.
Ris | February 8th, 2011 at 5:14 pm
No really bad Vday stories, just quite a few at the beginning of marriage that hubby neglected to get me even a card. Oh well, after 22 years he’s on track!
DawnA | February 8th, 2011 at 5:21 pm
My worst valentine day was a few years ago. I was single and had lung surgery about 3 days before. So not only was I single, I was in pain. The only upside was I was drugged up.
Allyson | February 8th, 2011 at 5:25 pm
I’m so not proud of this but let me start by saying I was THIRTEEN. And very THIRTEEN although I thought I was much, much older and cooler than THIRTEEN.
My boyfriend and I had been “dating” for about two months (a very long time at that age!)(and, of course, by “dating” I mean, “sitting together at lunch and making out in an empty classroom). For whatever reason that I can’t possibly explain, I decided it was time to write that break up note, and give it to him at lunch that day. Which was Valentine’s Day. Which was also his birthday.
*CRINGE*
I didn’t intend to be malicious, or seem so malicious, or do something so obviously mean and awful, I was just so darn clueless that, well, it happened. And he cried. And I’m embarrassed.
And now I hope I never remember that story again. Ick!
Amyella | February 8th, 2011 at 5:29 pm
I haven’t really gotten any terrible Valentine’s presents, mostly because i’m not sure i’ve ever gotten any Valentine’s presents. Maybe the worst was when i’d given birth to our daughter the day before, and my husband still didn’t get me anything at all. SIGH.
karen | February 8th, 2011 at 5:46 pm
My first year of college, I called my long-distance high-school-romance boyfriend on Valentine’s Day only to hear that “he thought we broke up in September.” Point the first, I think I would have remembered that. Point the second, we had talked (many times!) between September and February.
At least I made him cry in the common room of his frat house.
Julie | February 8th, 2011 at 5:53 pm
A creepy stalker guy sent me the worst, cheesiest Hallmark card for Valentine’s Day. At least, I think it was for V Day, because I received it on or a day or two before V Day, but it was some generic sentiment card and he had written something almost totally illegible inside which, after getting out the magnifying glass, my friend and I decided said “Would you like to go out with me?” Why, no! I wouldn’t!
Liz M. | February 8th, 2011 at 6:05 pm
One year when we were in college, my husband (then boyfriend) got me a toaster oven for valentine’s day. Granted we needed one, but still….
Jan | February 8th, 2011 at 6:11 pm
My Crazy Ex borrowed $20 from me before I went to work that morning. When we went out that evening he presented me with… a card. WTF did he spend the other $18 on??
Superjules | February 8th, 2011 at 6:24 pm
I totally know what you mean about the bear and the rose. I got a similar gift once from MY HUSBAND and I freaked the EFF out. So much that we still joke about it, and it was like 8 years ago. One Valentine’s day he came home with a flattish, crinkly, ugly, grocery store check out line BALLOON.
Am I just a huge be-yotch, or do you get why this was so offensive to me?
ZestyJenny | February 8th, 2011 at 6:38 pm
My favorite dress shop is Dress Barn. My “boyfriend” showed up with a card, a flat cardboard gift box (it needed to be put together) and some Dress Barn coupons. I said, uh, should there be a gift card with this?? Apparently, he “lost” the card or threw it away with the bag. Seriously??? He said he’d replace it. Before I could catch myself, my big mouth said, Oh, it’s the thought that counts. UGH!!!!! Did he replace it? No. Will I replace him? Tune in next week!
Trish | February 8th, 2011 at 6:40 pm
One year, I got a set of Pier 1 martini glasses (a set of 12!!!) and a vase. No flowers in the vase, just this huge vase. I think he just went to Pier 1 and bought whatever he came across first. When we broke up (shocker! that was a bad relationship!) the vase and stupid martini glasses were the first things to go to Salvation Army.
leanne | February 8th, 2011 at 7:01 pm
hmmm, no terrible Valentines Day stories. One slightly awkward story-my now fiance and I had only been dating for a month. We had said we wouldn’t do presents and went out to a really nice dinner. As we were driving home he handed me a gorgeous box (cue omg! wtf! oh sh!t I didn’t get him anything). Opened it to find a pair of my panties I had left at his house. Nit!
Side note–I live in the Middle East in an Islamic state. Did you know that most (if not all) countries in the GCC ban the sale of alcohol on Valentines day, including Dubai? Apparently as a way to reduce un-wedded fornication. huh.
Papaayita | February 8th, 2011 at 7:20 pm
Worst valentines gift I ever got was a dozen white roses. Now, I absolutely love roses, and white roses are gorgeous, and I thought they were beautiful - but I was in a long-term long-distance relationship at the time, we had very very little money, he’d put off getting anything until the last minute and so he’d paid an absolutely exorbitant amount of money for the flowers + delivery. Which is sort of sweet until you realize that I don’t care at all about Valentines day, but I do care about my birthday which comes shortly afterwards, and of course he had no money left to do anything at all about my birthday.
TodayWendy | February 8th, 2011 at 7:31 pm
Okay, I don’t have any terrible V-day gift stories but I will tell you about the “boyfriend” I was “going out with” in sixth grade. I wanted to buy him something for Christmas and all I could get out of my mom was $5, so I bought one of those big ass Hershey’s kisses, all wrapped in red foil. I was so nervous about giving it to him and I felt stupid, and silly, and nervous, etc.
I got to school the Friday before the holiday break and he wasn’t there. I asked one of his friends and they said it was because he was a Jehovah’s Witness and always took the Fridays before holidays off so he didn’t have to participate in the holiday celebrations. Yeah. Could you tell we were so so close?
I ate the giant kiss, by the way.
Katie S. | February 8th, 2011 at 8:24 pm
I flew to visit my long distance boyfriend for Valentine’s Day. Once I got there, he broke up with me but asked me to stay anyway. Feeling stupid, I did. We celebrated the day together and he bought me a heart shaped pendant proving he knew nothing about me because I hate heart shaped jewelry. On. Top of everything, I got snowed in and couldn’t leave for two days after my scheduled departure. It was the most tortuous weekend ever.
Michelle | February 8th, 2011 at 9:34 pm
Oh, I just had the best time reading these! I can’t say that I’ve ever had a horrible Valentine’s Day gift, but I’ve also been with Hub since I was 15 and it is all a blur. But I will tell you about my friend D.
D worked at our local fast food restaurant in high school and she was dating Hub’s friend T. T didn’t have a lot of money and he did not have a car, so they didn’t plan a lot for Valentine’s Day. T thought of a great surprise though and he planned to carry it out and surprise D when she left work. Imagine her surprise when she got in her car to find T, naked except for a big red bow tied around his neck. To this day we don’t know how he got there, or where his clothes were when he was en route…She drove him home and never spoke to him again. (He was in our wedding, and Hub was in his. He happens to be a perfectly normal guy….OR SO WE THINK!)
Saly | February 8th, 2011 at 9:49 pm
A few years ago, I decided that it was way too expensive to go out to dinner on Valentine’s Day (we never exchange presents), and instead we should stay in. I figured I’d cook a really elaborate meal, we’d have candles and music and it would be so much cheaper and more romantic.
For some reason, I didn’t get going on the dinner until close to evening, and then I kept realizing we needed random ingredients (because it had to be PERFECT and SPECIAL), so we kept trudging back and forth to the grocery. It was two miles round-trip. We had no car. We lived in Boston. It was February.
I think we finally ate dinner around 11:30 pm and were barely speaking at that point.
Portia | February 8th, 2011 at 10:12 pm
I loved all the stories, especially where I saw one by Carolyn and thought “wow, that sounds like my friend Carolyn” and it was!!
sam | February 8th, 2011 at 11:04 pm
As a college senior taking 21 credits, working part time, and running two university organizations, my quadruple- major, working-full-time boyfriend and I made special plans for Valentine’s Day, my first ever in a relationship, as a way to make sure we spent some much needed time together. At the last minute, he called to say a bartender had called in sick and he needed to pick up the guy’s shift; he wasn’t going to make our plans.
Because he ususally came to my house after closing at the bar, an occurance so regular my roomates were unfazed to see him walking in the door while they were on their way to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I waited up for him, watching movies. Actually, watching the same movie over and over, as it got later and later. “He’ll be home by the time this movie is done,” I told myself, and then watched the same movie again to try to make it come true.
At five in the morning, when he still wouldn’t answer his phone, I drove past the totally dark bar and then to his apartment. Knocking on the door, I heard laughing and my boyfriend’s best friend talking to some girl about refilling her drink. The best friend refused to answer the door, instead yelling to my boyfriend.
Boyfriend cracks the door, peering through it with one eye. I demand that he open the door further and see him in his underwear.
What happens after that is a little blury. I remember sitting on the apartment steps while he tries to get me to come in. I remember walking down the road while he tries to get me to come back. I remember him kicking out the girl that he took home from the bar instead of coming home to me, the one he was in the middle of having sex with and left the bed in his underwear to answer the door, and then me sitting on the bed they were just having sex in while he tried to make up a good story. I remember trying to break up with him, but him telling me we’re just “on a break.” Right.
I called my best friend, attending a different college two hours away, woke her up, crying, and asked her to come spend the day with me. I went to work with no sleep, at a Children’s Museum where I spent the day helping five-year-olds make Valentine’s crafts and trying to remain professional and not let the parents of said five-year-olds see me cry.
The girl he cheated with eventually left him for his best friend, and they just had a baby.
So his gift to me was the ability to find someone better. Which I did.
Actually, perhaps that’s the best Valentine’s Day gift ever. But I’d rather not get it again.
Erica | February 8th, 2011 at 11:49 pm
I got the sweetest original poem written just for “My Dearest Tracey.”
MY NAME IS LESLIE.
Leslie | February 9th, 2011 at 2:16 am
I really want to read these comments when I have a minute.
may | February 9th, 2011 at 3:34 am
What comes to mind is a Valentine’s day about 9 years ago before I had met my husband. A guy I had been dating for probably a month or two took me out to a chinese restaurant….although I think it was a nice-ish one in Boston and he bought me a fake Tiffany bracelet. Does anyone remember those bracelets that were SO popular back in 2002? They were kind of chunky and chain-like and had a silver heart hanging off of it? Anyway, mine was a fake and it was obvious…and it just seemed tacky…like flowers would have been a better option.
Heather R | February 9th, 2011 at 3:50 am
Well, I was given a beautiful red rose, and a really sweet card. Both delivered by the mailman; I was only seeing my boyfriend later in the day, after school. Excited, I ripped open the card, to find another little envelope. “awwww!” I thought; “a love letter as well! Wow!”. Except…it wasn’t. It was a letter breaking up with me because and I quote because it was burnt into my brain “I can’t stay faithful to you”.
Distraught followed by furious doesn’t even begin to cover it.
That was the last year I even celebrated Valentine’s Day. I’ve boycotted it ever since.
Tara | February 9th, 2011 at 7:29 am
I once had a guy give me a bracelet for Valentine’s when I was a teenager. It certainly was NOT something I would have chosen myself (chunky - where I prefer delicate, gold - where I prefer silver, brown stones - where I prefer un-brown stones. What the hell stones are brown, anyway?), but I thought it was a thoughtful and generous gift, and so I was sure to wear it.
A couple of days later he came and asked me for it back. Totally unashamedly, he informed me he had stolen it from his mother’s jewellery box, and she has discovered and demanded he return it. Not only was he unperturbed to admit he stole it, but he gave no consideration to getting me a replacement (given his thieving style, perhaps that was a good thing) So I had to give it back, and then had nothing whatsoever for Valentine’s Day. Not even a jacked, ugly bracelet. Not sure which is worse.
Susan C. | February 9th, 2011 at 9:04 am