I divide children’s television shows into four categories:

1) Shows I have a philosophical objection to the kids watching.

2) Shows I have no philosophical objection to, but can’t stand to have on because they make me feel as if sharing my house with children has made my whole life unrecognizably lame and sad.

3) Shows I feel indifferent about:  they’re fine for the kids to watch, and I don’t mind having them on.

4) Shows I really like: I’m glad when the kids like them, and I might start shushing so I don’t miss the dialogue.

Most of the shows in the fourth category are the ones I liked in my own childhood.

Current episodes of Sesame Street are fine (although they seem to be almost entirely Elmo’s World and Journey to Ernie), but I prefer seeing the very same episodes I watched as a child.  Grover and that guy in the restaurant!  Kermit and the on-the-scene reporting!  The typewriter, typing on itself!  Oscar being genuinely rude and mean!  Adults openly mocking Big Bird for saying Mr. Snuffleupagus was real!
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I haven’t had the pleasure of hosting a party for children yet, and secretly I hope my own kids grow up preferring other celebratory activities on their birthdays because really, it doesn’t matter that the partygoers are only three feet tall, it’s still a PARTY and I would rather drink paint than throw one. 

I do, however, like to check out invitations. I love invitations, even when they aren’t addressed to me, and I particularly like creative ones with a personal touch. Check out some of these cute ideas for unique birthday party invites:
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It’s been a month since my baby had his first birthday, and it’s time to call the winners of the Best Birthday Present for a One-Year-Old competition.

First prize goes to the Fisher-Price Baby Gymtastics Bounce and Spin Zebra.  My parents gave this to Henry, and he lovvvvvvves it.  So do his 3-year-old siblings:  the twins are a little big for it, but can still play on it.  It spins
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Last summer I went on a car trip with a toddler and a newborn. Um, that was really fun! As you might imagine!

One thing that made a world of difference was the DVD player. Sweet, peaceful Steve bought us several happy hours during the day in the car, particularly toward the end of the day when traffic got bad and no one was in the mood for another car game or car song. I really, REALLY recommend an in-car DVD player of some sort (and a few fresh DVDs) if you are driving a long distance.

Toys for long trips are tricky. Ideally they should be hand-held, one-piece, non-messy, non-noisemaking, and long-entertaining. It’s hard to hit all those bases, but here are a few that came close.
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Father’s Day is my least favorite holiday to buy for. Guys want boring stuff that is boring to shop for. Oh, not ALL guys: I’m sure SOME guys are like, “You know what I’d love for Father’s Day? New towels for the bathroom! And let’s go out for brunch!” But most of them want things that are expensive and who even knows what they are: Ooooo, a TI-nspire Cas! Whatever that is! And all the gift guides assume that dads drink beer and play golf. Sigh. Well, I have a few–A VERY FEW–Father’s Day gift ideas to make the process less painful:
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Hey, did you know Father’s Day is June 15? I had no idea. For some reason, I was thinking it was in September. Or maybe I was thinking, a whole holiday for FATHERS, why not just call it Hooray For Whining About Having to Change a Poopy Diaper Day and shower them with lumps of coal?

Ha ha, I’m just kidding. My own personal husband is an incredible father, very hands-on and loving and engaged, and if he maybe acts like kind of a wuss about a poop-filled diaper every now and then, well, at least he’s good at killing spiders.

I’ve got some gift ideas to share, even though the official day is a few weeks off. These are mostly from the “things you can purchase from online retailers” category, as opposed to “sentimental hand-crafted gifts from the heart”. Not that heart-gifts aren’t wonderful, DUH, but for the purposes of today’s entry we’ll stick to the Amazon-type merchandise.

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I was going to do another ‘what’s on our televisions‘ post but I realized that I’d have to confess that I’ve only been watching American Idol, Battlestar Galactica, and Survivor for WEEKS now. How . . . lame.

So, how about we dish movie-talk instead? We rarely get out to the theater any more (although I did see Iron Man, which had a Fun Factor of at least eleven) but we rent DVDs on a fairly frequent basis. Here’s what we’ve checked out recently:

Cloverfield. I enjoyed this movie enough to see it in the theater AND rent it, and if you avoided the theater experience because you heard all the camera movement was making people hurl, watching it on your TV is much less disorienting. Totally fun monster movie, with nail-biting moments galore and some truly spectacular special effects. I rarely say this, but the DVD extras are actually worth watching afterwards, just to see what all went into the production.

Juno. You saw this, right? I think everyone saw this. Well, if you somehow missed it, I recommend you go ahead and slap it in your Netflix queue because it’s just as funny, quirky, and heartwarming as everyone says it is.

American Gangster. I knew in the first three minutes of this movie that the pacing was going to be all wrong for me: I found it slow, dull, un-engaging, and way the hell too long. I didn’t care about the characters, I didn’t believe any of the characters, and not even Denzel’s fine-ass self could save this for me.

Gone Baby Gone. Another dud as far as I’m concerned. Maybe it’s that I’ve never liked Casey Affleck, maybe it’s that the storyline was ridiculous, maybe it was the laughable dialogue, either way: BOO.

Michael Clayton. Now, as you may have heard this was supposed to be a good movie, and I was glad to discover that for me it lived up to its reputation. It wasn’t exactly action-packed, but it’s interesting, unfolds nicely, and features a pitch-perfect performance by Mr. Clooney. Two thumbs up!

Lars and the Real Girl. Here’s the little-known title of the bunch, and my absolute favorite. I am not even going to try and describe what this is about, and if you go read the synopsis you will think it sounds downright crazy and maybe pornographic, but I will say that it’s the sweetest, most charming, entirely feel-goodish movie I think I’ve about ever seen. There!

What movies have you been renting lately? Got any must-sees or must-avoids to share?

So it’s your lunch break at work, or you’re at home and the children are (THANK YOU JEBUS) napping, and instead of jumping on your next office project or tackling the never-ending laundry pile, you sit in front of your computer, and . . . well, what are you looking at?

Other than personal blogs and embarrassing, brain-rotting things like People.com and CNN.com, I’ve got a few favorite websites I like to check in with when I have some downtime. I’ll show you mine if you show me yours, okay?

(Heh.)

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I don’t know about you, but I sure don’t get to spend as much time reading as I used to. Pretty much the only time I open a book anymore is right before I fall asleep at night, which is to say I maybe get one or two pages in before slumping into an openmouthed, snoring coma.

Therefore, I really don’t want to spend my minimal amount of reading energy on an “eh” book, you know? And while I feel kind of bad making recommendations for or against books here (such a totally subjective topic), what the hell, let’s talk about the best things we’ve read lately — and the don’t-waste-your-time ones, too.

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On the days when my husband and I both work, our schedules go something like this:

1. Take Riley to daycare. Depart for our respective offices, re-convening at the house with child in tow around 5:30 PM.

2. Dinner: sometimes all of us together, sometimes Riley eats first then runs off to play while JB and I eat our own dinners.

3. Playtime with Riley, reading books, taking baths, etc, before his 7:30 bedtime.

4. 7:30 PM - 9:30 PM: JB watches the news, works in his shop, and catches up on work email. I write blog entries, work on freelance projects, and if it’s a good day, follow an exercise DVD.

5. 9:30 - 11 PM: FREE TIME.

Man oh man do I ever relish that free time, where I’ve got no obligations hanging over my head and I can just sit back and relax. Preferably with a giant bowl of ice cream.

While I’m sure we could be engaged with more worthy pursuits, such as playing chess or learning French or, ha ha haaaaaaa, cleaning the house, both JB and I like to veg out in front of the TV during our free time. This is when we watch our Netflix’d movies and recorded TV shows, and I think it’s just one of those homey domestic rituals that helps us stay marginally sane and balanced in the midst of working parenthood.

(I’ve informed our unborn child that upon his arrival he will need to immediately adopt the same sleeping schedule as his older brother. Hey, I can dream, right?)

Here’s what we’ve been watching lately:

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