Paul and I have had a smoother marriage since I stopped wanting us to exchange gifts on Valentine’s Day and anniversaries: Paul doesn’t like buying gifts for those occasions, and I don’t like getting gifts that come with a heavy sigh of obligation, and it’s hard to buy a similarly romantic/significant gift for a guy, and I get uptight about money—so overall it started feeling like it wasn’t a good idea for us as a couple.

Every so often my wish for a Significant Gift outweighs this, as for example on our tenth anniversary when I said ahead of time that I would like Expensive Earrings of His Choice, please, to wear sentimentally on all subsequent anniversaries, and I got him something unromantic for his computer—but for the most part we skip it. I still enjoy giving the kids a Valentine’s day gift, and I enjoy the fun of their classroom exchanges, and I still like Valentine’s Day decor and wearing pink/red that day and so forth.

I’m always interested to hear how other couples handle it. Some people who like to buy flowers are partnered with people who like to receive them. Some people who like to go out for dinner are partnered with people who like to, too. Some people who like lingerie are partnered with people who feel like it’s a gift for themselves. …And some people are not paired quite so neatly, and have to figure things out.

What I’d like to know today is what you’d LIKE to receive for Valentine’s Day—if for example you could have your same significant other, but replace the cells in their brain responsible for Valentine’s Day gifts. I’d also love to hear what you normally do, or what you’re likely to get instead—but I think it would be fun to do a sort of Fantasy List. My own tastes, as you will see, run toward the Classic: chocolates, flowers, jewelry.

See’s Pink Satin Heart (photo from Sees.com). I don’t think I even actually DO want this, even though it was the first thing I thought of when I turned my mind to the question. I DO love chocolates, ESPECIALLY heart-shaped boxes of chocolates, and I pined for this one as soon as I saw it—but $40 for not even a pound and a half of chocolate? And the box is so so pretty, but what would I use it for after the chocolate was gone? I used to save heart-shaped boxes, but I never did find a way to use them so I finally tossed them out in our last move. Still. If I were in a dating relationship, not married, I think this would be my favorite gift to get. I’d enjoy the extravagance of it, and I’d keep love notes and ticket stubs and photos in the heart-shaped box.
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I am in full Enjoyable Calendar Fuss Mode now. When I went to my Amazon cart this morning, one of my calendar options (the Wallpaper calendar, which I found after writing this year’s calendar post) had dropped to half price so I bought it—but I’m not really sure about it (the picture of it makes it look like it might be one of the cheap dollar-store ones that rips and curls), and also I still need a second one.

In the meantime, let’s exchange loot lists! Here are some things I got this year:

A Week in Winter, by Maeve Binchy (photo from Amazon.com). This won’t be released in the U.S. until February, so what I got was a note in an envelope saying it had been pre-ordered. Which is what I asked for: this is Maeve Binchy’s last book (she died this year) and I really really really really really want it the very first minute I can have it. I don’t want to patiently wait for the library copy, or for the next gift occasion.

Kiva gift card (screenshot from Kiva.org). Kiva is one of those places where you can give a tiny loan (like, $25) to someone else. Then that person pays it back to you, and you can loan it out again. And again and again. The idea is that sometimes people only need a small boost to make a huge difference in the way they make a living (especially in a country where a little cash goes a long way), but banks are not going to loan them $100. Four Kiva members can team up to loan it, though. I’ve been enjoying loaning and re-loaning so much, I put a $25 Kiva card on my wish list.
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One of my sisters-in-law loves cats and cat-related things, and I have been searching for a cat-related gift for her, so I have cat gifts ON THE BRAIN.

Chuvora Sterling Silver Cat Silhouette Earrings (photo from Amazon.com). I think these are pretty, without being too Cat Lady.

Black Cat Print Set by Kerry Beary on Etsy (photo from the shop). This is more than I want to spend, but I love them and want them FOR MYSELF. And there are a number of $20 prints I want to consider for my sister-in-law. And I’m going to go back later to browse more and put some on my own wish list too.

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Whenever I see something that seems like it would make a good gift, I make myself a note. Sometimes these notes clump into categories, and sometimes not. This is post of gift ideas I’ve been meaning to mention, but they keep not fitting with other posts.

Marmar Magnetic Necklace Sets (photo from the shop). Wait, because these are even neater than you think. FIRST, they’re neat because to change the pendant on the necklace, you just click a new magnet into place. But THEN, they’re ADDITIONALLY awesome because they work with all the Marmar refrigerator magnet sets! So, like, you get yourself a necklace, and you have magnets all over your fridge, and in the morning when you’re getting ready you can PICK A MAGNET OFF YOUR FRIDGE AND PUT IT IN YOUR NECKLACE. A squirrel one day, a cupcake the next! A famous scientist one day, a Santa-hatted cat the next! This idea appeals to me so much, I really really wish I wore necklaces. I would buy ALL THE MAGNET SETS.

Sons of Anarchy temporary tattoos (photo from fxnetworks.com). (I mean, clearly the photo is from fxnetworks.com. Clearly I do not have this nice young man in my living room posing for a photo for me.) I saw a mention of these in an interview with one of the cast members, and I immediately thought “OMG THAT WOULD BE SO COOL FOR A FAN OF THE SHOW.” Or for the partner of a fan of the show. Ahem. No-judging zone.
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I recently bought some bird earrings, and in the comments section we started talking about how I have also been questing for owl earrings. The owl trend continues (my mom and me, while shopping: “It’s it REMARKABLE how stores are SUDDENLY CARRYING the VERY THING we SUDDENLY WANT? What a REMARKABLE COINCIDENCE!”), but I find owls a difficult thing to choose The Right One of: some are too scowly, some overly or insufficiently whimsical. So although a need for owl earrings has been created in me, my ears stay un-owled and the quest continues.

ZAD Vintage Silver/Crystal Owl Earrings (photo from Amazon.com). These are close to what I’m looking for. Good nostalgia quotient (my mom collected owls the last time the trend came around, and these are the type of owl eyes I remember), good owl feet, good basic idea. I wish there was a photo that gave me a better idea of how big they’d look on someone’s actual ears.

Sterling Silver Owl Earrings (photo from Amazon.com). I like that these have designed backs as well as fronts. But the eyes are a little too blank/ball-like.
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