Moms On Issues
with Sara and Veronica
We're two moms with different backgrounds, jobs and points of view, writing about our opinions on the political and social issues affecting working moms. We'll also keep our eye on the media and the celebrity mom world to highlight issues that are relevant to your life.
Check out our personal blogs: Veronica's Blog and Sara's Blog
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By the time you read this, I’ll have either succeeded in or failed to sign my daughter up for gymnastics. Am I pushing her to be the next Bridget Sloan? Um, no…at least I hope not!
It’s not that I wouldn’t be honored and uber-proud of her if she made the 2020 Olympics in gymnastics, it’s just that despite the fact that I love, LOVE gymnastics, I’m not sure if I want our family to take that road. To have her give up so much of her personal life in order to spend a few extra hours in the gym every…single..day? In the hope that maybe one day in 12 years she’ll be perfect enough to go to the Olympics? To spend all that money? To perhaps rob her of a few inches of height? Seriously, we’re Latinas, we don’t have much height to give up.
So why am I signing her up for gymnastics? Because as I said, I love it! And I gave birth to a very talented tree climber & otherwise all around jumping/flipping machine. Gymnastics is natural to her. Do I think that if we decided today to go for the Olympics she’d make it? I’d lean towards a yes…but I’m not making that decision. Oh, hells no…not with my daughter! I can’t even pick her clothes for her much less push her into 2-a-day workouts in the gym.
So what about softball, swimming, or volleyball?
While I’ve never heard of a 4′9″ softball player (although my younger sister came close!), I’m still not ready to sign up the kid for a life of uber-demanding sports. I can’t believe I just said that!
I’m ultra-competitive, love sports, and would have given my right arm for gymnastics lessons as a kid. But for my daughter, I want her to enjoy life, especially her all too short childhood. I sometimes make being an adult sound worse than it is just to try to keep her focused on her “now” and not what she’s going to do when she’s 16.
Don’t get me wrong, I am in total awe of every Olympian. The dedication, the strength, the rock hard abs…I think I’ve finally come to realize that there is something special about being an average person who lives an ordinary life.
What will I do once the Olympics fade away and my daughter comes to me asking to join a competitive team? I’ll be the proudest mama in the world.
Edited to add: On the flip side, NBC gives us a photo gallery of some of the Olympic moms. I love that Jennie Finch’s son is named Ace.
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Yesterday, I was with a friend whose daughter has been in competitive gymnastics for several years, and it’s a HUGE family commitment for them all. I think you’re wise to be cautious about it at this stage - and as long as she’s still loving it, re-evaluate as you go along.
As someone who has the (lack of) height to be a gymnast but not an ounce of the athletic ability or coordination, I really hope you all have fun with this!
Florinda | August 11th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
In early junior high I was horribly jealous that one of my gymnastics team mates up and moved when her family decided to push the Olympic route for her. At the time I was so jealous and thought my family was horribly abusive that they wouldn’t up and move to Colorado Springs so I could go train too.
I loved gymnastics. And like you, I hate that I love it. Though I was bitter at age 13 for not getting to check out my chances for gold, I look back now and see what gymnastics did give me. Something I was good at (self confidence), an ability to commit, an understanding of my body and its limitations and the importance of physical activity (something I need more of now!).
April | August 11th, 2008 at 6:42 pm
As the mother of 2 active boys (4 and 2) the only olympic gold I can see is couch jumping. Maybe one day, but I’m not sure we will dedicate the entire family to one child’s pursuits.
KLG | August 11th, 2008 at 8:09 pm
Any high level competitive thing (sports, music, etc.) requires huge amounts of family time and individual commitment on the part of the child. I clearly remember practicing close to 6 hours a day of piano for years - thinking I MIGHT want to someday pursue a career in music. I did lots of other things - but I also remember my mom saying “absolutely not” when I had the opportunity at 12 to study at Julliard (keep in mind that my dad went to Music and Art - practicing hours upon hours then deciding to give it up because he would never be Jascha Heifetz). While I don’t know if that would have made the difference, I do appreciate that my mom protected my childhood. I have seen kids completely broken by the competitive push of parents and I am also in awe of these young Olympians - but I also ask - at what cost? When you get gold at age 15 - what next?
Just a thought. On the other hand - if E/J/A show extraordinary talent - beyond good - beyond very good - but TRULY gifted - they will be the ones to push themselves.
Lots of love to you - D
Dani | August 11th, 2008 at 9:22 pm
I would never have thought it. But I see my kid developing a surpising level strength, energy, balance, and daring, and she’s not two yet. I would like to enroll her in kiddie gymnastics and see how she does. She is extremely shy, which in her mama’s case, made it impossible to shine regardless of ability. On the other hand, if she finds an area where she easily excels, maybe she’ll at least develop an average level of self-confidence.
Down the line, if she has the interest and the ability, I would like to support her. But honestly, I don’t think it will come to that. I would not push it, and absent a lot of pushing, most kids don’t have that much focus.
SKL | August 11th, 2008 at 9:35 pm
April - Funny thing was that we use to live in Co Springs…my dad was in the Army, so I had this huge fantasies that if we had stayed, I would have been discovered for my athletic abilities. If only!!
Dani - Julliard? wow! You superstar! And you’re right on all accounts, anything that the kids want to do they will push themselves - music, sports, art, or writing.
Veronica | August 11th, 2008 at 9:37 pm
V -
I know - sounds very fancy (NOT).
I never forget what my mom told me though - She never needed to push me because I always put more pressure on myself than anyone else ever could. I always worry about that with J - so I try to back off and let him discover his abilities.
I think that both J and E have that same thing - especially E - perfectionism and self-pressure to do well. (Hmmm…. wonder where that comes from??) We will see about the little one.
Dani | August 11th, 2008 at 9:50 pm
As long as your daughter genuinely enjoys it, and isn’t going to feel too bad if she doesn’t win competitions, I think it’s great.
Daniel Weinreb | August 15th, 2008 at 5:09 am
Heavy sigh….I can’t tell you how much thought Ii have given to this same topic this Summer. Although I’m not sure my daughter shows special talent yet. I’m constantly struggling with the question of whether I should fit it in to our already hectic schedule. My husband and I both work full time so that would mean hiring someone to get her to all these practices. At the same time, I hate when my work schedule is the reason I can’t give my kids every opportunity to excel at something.
Ellen | August 22nd, 2008 at 3:03 pm
I am an acting teacher and love working with kids. I see kids get pushed by their parents daily and it makes me sad. Encouragement is one thing but pressure is horrendous.
Let the kids take the lead.
Lorena
http://www.littlereddoorkids.com
Lorena | August 25th, 2008 at 12:25 am
You have your priorities in order; let her take the lead in how far she wants to go, while you provide the opportunities.
Daisy | August 30th, 2008 at 8:37 pm