with Talyaa Liera
I'm Talyaa, the poster child for the concept that there's no one right way to be a parent. I went from stay-at-home attachment-parenting mom of four to being the non-custodial parent, working as a professional writer and channel-psychic. Let's talk about throwing away the parenting manual and exploding the myths and mystique of motherhood!
Check out my personal blog at Juxtapositioning.
I just found out I can blame my dad for my lack of persistence and general success in life. Yay. A new study suggests that strict and authoritarian parents raise crappy kids. Hi, Dad, I’m talking to you. It’s a relief, actually, to find out that my dad’s strict, critical, punishment-based fathering style wasn’t just something I’ve been able to point to and vow that I will do exactly the opposite with my own kids.
So what makes a good parent?
According to the study, the parents that raised kids who grew up to have traits of persistence, hope, independence, and self-esteem used a child-centered approach combining structure with a strong heart connection. These parents used techniques of day-to-day involvement, listening, nurturing, and encouraged autonomy and decision-making. They set appropriate boundaries and applied consistent and fair discipline, but often used their kids’ failures as a teaching tool rather than as a punishment opp.
I know, right? Tell us something we don’t already know?
The parenting style the study points to is called Authoritative. Not to be confused with Authoritarian (hi, Dad). And it…rocks. Here’s a list of traits:
- high expectations of maturity
- understand how child is feeling
- helps child regulate emotions
- independence is enouraged
- (within appropriate limits)
- lots of listening
- kids make many decisions
- and are allowed to fail, sometimes
- fosters child’s natural talents + strengths
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