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By Ali Martell from Cheaper Than Therapy
We recently introduced ALLOWANCE at Casa de Martell.
Now, I know that this is one of those. A controversial one. There are people who are in the YES! Allowances are the best, yo! They are great for kids! camp. There are people who are in the NO! Allowances are bad news. Kids shouldn’t be paid for doing things they should already do.
I will admit, until this past year, I was just sort of “meh” about allowances. But, I made the decision to do it. And my reasoning is three-fold.
Reason #1: It’s a good way to teach my children about money. I don’t want them growing up to think that money is simply handed to them…like their mother did. I want them to understand that money has value. I want them to understand the concept of saving for something they really want. I want them to learn that once it’s spent, it’s gone.
Reason #2: It’s a good way for them to learn to be somewhat self-sufficient. I don’t want them growing up being those adults who don’t know how to fold a pair of socks or who would get up from a table and leave a dirty plate for someone else to take care of….like their mother did. And while, yes, I do agree that being a part of a family means doing these things anyway, without being PAID to do them, the little extra push, at least in our family, helps the kids OWN these tasks.
Reason #3: It’s a good way for me to have a little extra lazi(ish)ness in my life. (like you never…)
We have a system that works for us. Emily gets $4 each week, and Josh gets $3. They are expected to do certain things around the house….clear their plates, put their dirty laundry in the hamper, take their belongings to their bedrooms, feed Indy and let him out to pee. If they choose to help out around the house with extra tasks…helping Isabella put her shoes on, or running upstairs to grab me a water bottle, or bringing the hampers downstairs, making their beds, they have the chance to earn a few extra dollars each week. BUT, just as quickly as they can earn the extra money, they can also lose these bonus bucks. If Emily is rude (which she has a tendency to do) and if Josh whines (which he has a tendency to do), they can lose it.
And, of course, there are people who will tell me I’m doing it wrong. They will tell me that I shouldn’t attach strings. They will tell me that I am bribing my children. They will say that punishing for bad behavior is the wrong way to go. But right now, it’s working.
Right now, it makes, well, cents.
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I have divided tasks into two categories for my girls:
1) Things we do for ourselves or as part of a functioning family. At 2.5, this includes helping to prepare the table for dinner and clean up afterwards, cleaning up after themselves, helping to carry stuff when it makes sense, etc. They don’t get paid for these tasks and they are required to do them.
2) Things we can “choose” to do for pay - mainly yard work. If they choose to do it, they get paid based on how much they do. They can also choose not to do it and not to earn money.
This works for us right now. As they get older I may change the rules, giving them money more regularly, but making them pay for some of their “needs” such as choices of food for packed lunches.
Allowance provides many learning opportunities and makes our lives smoother. If they want something I don’t choose to buy for them, I tell them that they need to work and save their money for it. Much more pleasant than having an argument in the store over every item they “neeed.”
SKL | July 15th, 2009 at 3:08 pm
Ditto SKL.
Robyn | July 15th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
My husband and I just started talking about this, as my ex paid our son to pick up his toys a couple of times this past year (something my six year old has always done in his own home for free since he could walk).
So, my husband and I talked about whether we wanted to start giving an allowance and formalizing chores at home as well.
But, the conclusion that we came to (and a timely article on the school website by his principal helped tip the scales) is that for now, chores will stand on their own, as family member just pulling their respective household weight.
We haven’t started an allowance yet, but, when we do, it will be independent of the chores (although when my son is older and helps my husband with some home improvement, we may pay for tough jobs), and it will have ’strings’, too. If he gets in trouble at school or mouths off at home, etc, that will be enough to revoke it for that week.
MistressOfTheDorkness | July 16th, 2009 at 4:21 pm
I’m with SKL. When our daughter gets older, we plan on implementing a system much like my parents did for us. Doing dishes, dusting, taking out the recycling and garbage, vaccuuming and yard work are allowance worthy.
Doing things like clearing your plate, setting the table, cleaning your room, putting clothes in the hamper or caring for the pets are not rewarded. Those are things you just do.
Having a set list of chore to earn a set amount of money does reach the goals that you’ve outlined which I think is great. It also allows you to teach them that if things don’t get done, they don’t get their full “pay” - or any at all depending on how bad a week it’s been. It brings around the concept that, if you bang out from work early or call in, you don’t make your money. Just…in a more age appropriate way to help prepare them for later in life.
I also think that, by having a chore chart vs. The Things You Just Do, it teaches kids that not everything you don’t want to do is going to be rewarded somehow. Some things are worth pay, some are just done because they must be.
Phe | July 17th, 2009 at 3:16 pm
My girls don’t get a set allowance. They get all money they receive for gifts, any money they earn doing extra chores around the house (washing windows, sweep up grass after mowing, mucking stalls) or sometimes I will give them $10 when we are out shopping or someplace special (zoo, fair, museum). I have only one rule about the money, once it’s gone, it’s gone. Oh, and Mom won’t tell them how to spend the money.
I have seen them struggle over how to spend the money in the most efficient way. I’ve seen them way the choices and the cost and try to determine how to get the most for the least, I’ve also seen them pool their money to get something they both want.
Becky | July 18th, 2009 at 8:05 pm
I think that kids should be paid as it gives them a choice of saving or spending. But I only think that they should be paid for doing things outside of the house as the things done inside the house should be done for nothing as they need to learn valuable life skills and also how to pay there way.
Anonymus | October 26th, 2009 at 10:23 pm