By Leah from Working on Motherhood and A Girl and A Boy

Now that I have almost an entire year of parenting under my belt, I finally feel like I’ve earned the right to throw out advice to anyone, at any time, and at 90 mph, like an automatic ball-pitcher gone haywire. Heads up! I’m coming straight at you! After all, what better way to make mom friends than to tell them exactly how to parent, right?

Okay, obviously unsolicited advice is not what moms want to hear, and least of all when they’re new moms trying to navigate the perilous landscape of parenthood on top of being sleep-deprived, strapped onto the roof of the Hormone Express, and worried that their insides and outsides have been rearranged beyond repair. What new moms don’t need is someone telling them what to do or, worse, someone telling them that they’re doing it all wrong. What you need is love, support, encouragement, respect, validation, and, okay, maybe a few gentle nudges from someone who’s been there. (That’s me!) Oh, and you probably also need a shower.

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By Jen of Quarter Life Crisis

The thing I loved the most about breastfeeding when I was on maternity leave was the ease. When I needed to feed the baby (read: ALL THE TIME, it seemed), my milk was always just ready to go. It was the perfect temperature and consistency, and I didn’t have to fuss with formula and bottles. If I needed just a few more minutes of precious sleep in the early morning hours, my husband would bring the baby into our bed so I could nurse him on my side while I continued to snooze. And thanks to a recent law passed in my state making breastfeeding in a public place a civil right, I could feed my baby wherever, whenever.

The plan was to breastfeed for up to a year, for the bonding experience and health benefits it provided my son, yes, but mainly because I didn’t want to pay for formula on top of all our other newly acquired baby expenses. As my maternity leave came to a close, and I started to prepare for my return to work, continuing to breastfeed suddenly seemed difficult. I began to feel a little apprehensive about the prospect of pumping at work – would it interfere with my workflow, would I be able to produce enough milk for my son’s insatiable appetite, would my co-workers look at me differently as I made the twice-daily trek to my make-shift lactation station?

All were valid concerns, but fortunately for me, the answers were mostly no, mostly yes, and definitely not. I got lucky in that my employer was extremely supportive of my endeavor to continue breastfeeding. Before I came back to work, I sat down with my boss and let her know my plans. I was very clear about when I would need to pump (once in the 10 a.m. hour, once in the 2 p.m. hour), and that if it ever interfered with meetings, I could easily adjust my schedule. Cognizant of the time I’d spend away from my desk and work, I proposed a shorter lunch break to make up the time. Thankfully, my boss wasn’t too concerned about the time it would take to pump. “Just do what you need to do,” she said.
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By Mr. Lady from Whiskey In My Sippy Cup

The best way to get your kids to stop asking you where babies come from is to let them play catcher at the birth of their sister when they are 7 1/2.  No joke.  The will never so much as ask you about corn syrup again after that.  They may ask you about good therapists in your neighborhood, however.

If that is slightly too drastic a measure to take, what with that whole "person clawing its way out of you" and "impending college tuition" and what-not, there are easier ways to tell your kids about where babies come from.  You know, S-E-X.  Shhhh.

How you talk about "it" (snicker, IT) (yes, I am 12, why do you ask?) depends greatly upon the age of your child when the ask.  If they are 2, and they are asking because they just saw daddy doing what looked like a great big no-no to you while they were SUPPOSED to be taking a bleeping nap already, the answer is always, "Daddy is bouncing on momma!  You like to bounce!  Do you want to bounce on momma, too?"  And then daddy and baby can bounce on you while you die a slow, painful, horrible death under your covers.  Don’t worry; your kid will think your horror-laden sobs are squeals of PURE GLEE, and baby will laugh almost as heartily as daddy does.  ALMOST.

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By: Rebecca Woolf, of Girl’s Gone Child

First let me start by saying that this is kind of a trick question. Not everyone who has had a breast reduction can or will be able to breastfeed. All of our bodies heal differently and some of us are luckier than others in terms of recovery, scarring and ability to operate our machinery in an able fashion. After two breast-reductions (one at 18 and another at age 20) and two babies, I’ve picked up a few tips for my post-op friends hoping to nurse or partially nurse their babes after going under the knife.

1. Whip Em’ Out

The minute that baby comes out latch him/her on to your boob and pray. You’ll want to have some formula on hand if you find yourself unable to produce milk but give yourself the first few days to figure out the whole latching-on situation. Do you have Colostrum coming out if you squeeze ‘yer boobies? Then, awesome. That’s all baby needs for the first few days. If on day three or four your milk doesn’t come in, you may be unable to breastfeed. Don’t feel bad, though! You tried and that kicks ass. A happy mommy = a happy baby so go forth and prosper, bottle in hand!

If your milk does come in? Keep reading:

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By Amanda from Kicky Boots

I have heard it said that love is not divided, but multiplied. (This is supposed to make kids with lots of siblings feel better.) But there are a few things that are not multiplied, as I have found now that I am the mother of two children: energy, patience, and the motivation to mop my floors.

Just when I had figured out how to manage one kid, I discovered I was expecting our second. My eldest daughter is just over two years old and the youngest is now just over two months and while I am far from reaching my original level of sanity, there are a few tricks I’ve found that make life with more than one child manageable:

1. TV. There. I said it. We watch a fair bit of (educational and intellectually stimulating, of course) television ‘round these parts. My two year-old is on the go all day long and the only thing that gives either of us a break is when she takes a breather and watches a show (or twelve).

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By Swistle

What’s amazing is that ANY two people EVER agree on a baby name. The entire population should be wandering around nameless, their parents still trying to agree on something.

Here are a few tricks to try if you’re stuck:

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By Amanda of Kicky Boots

Here’s what they don’t tell you:  the post-partum recovery period is really hard.  Sure, it’s amazing to finally cradle your baby in your arms and experience the joy of motherhood.  But mixed in with that joy is exhaustion, uncertainty, sleep deprivation and a really sore hoo-ha.  Here are some tips to make your post-partum experience a tad more enjoyable:

1.  Toss Your Expectations.

We all have dreams of what life with a baby will be like, what kind of parents we will be, what blissful children we will have.  If things don’t go according to our plans, it can be devastating, especially for a new mom battling sleep deprivation and intense hormonal surges.  We all hit glitches along the way: maybe breastfeeding is a gong-show and you have to switch to formula, perhaps your baby is screaming ‘round the clock, maybe your partner isn’t as hands-on as you had hoped.  It’s OK.  You will find your way amidst the challenges, and don’t let yourself feel like a failure if things don’t go as you had planned.

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