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8 great things about being a single parent

Categories: Fighting the Stereotype


As a single Mom, I’m assaulted daily with all the various ways my fractured home might manifest itself in my son’s future psyche.

He might not go to college. He might harbor secret resentment. He’s more likely to have a broken relationship himself. He might have some kind of messed up social dysfunction that can be directly traced back to that time his Father and I had a fight about hair whiskers in the sink. Or not.

It’s easy for me to absorb and ponder the negative and disregard the positive, especially when I’m sprinting at breakneck speed, vacuumed relentlessly in the day-to-day challenges of being my son’s Mom, a business woman, a daughter, a sister, and an often cranky, overtired human. But there are so many amazing things that triumph from the challenges of a single parent home. Current hero-of-the-day Michael Phelps is one. I have a few more. The wonderful parts of single parenthood often get swept under the mat, but really: they’re rich and they’re many.

Here are my 8 favorite things about being a Single Mama:

1.) I never have to passively aggressively huff as I lift giant man-underwear from the bathroom floor and heave it painstakingly into the laundry bin. I never have to wretch at small black hairs in the sink again.

2.) My son has equal appreciation for hockey and So You Think You Can Dance.

3.) We can eat souffle for dinner and cheesecake for dessert, or cereal and olives and if there’s a mess, we can leave it.

4.) The indescribable pride that comes from providing for a small human being, a piece of my heart, all by myself.

5.) When my son does spend time with his Dad, I have the whole weekend totally to myself. This wouldn’t happen, otherwise.

6.) There is no “unsafe to enter” time period in the bathroom in the morning.

7.) The knowledge that no one ever takes my son for granted: he is loved by so many people and rarely sees anger or discord in any form.

8.) Unapologetically falling asleep with him in his bed, waking up with small chubby hands on my face in the morning.

It’s really not all doom and gloom. In fact, a lot of it is pretty fantastic.

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11 comments so far...

  • I LOVED reading this. I think you are amazing. And Michael Phelps or not, your kiddo will be just fine, or better than fine. Oh, and 2 and 4 are my favorites:)

    Nataly  |  August 15th, 2008 at 8:40 am

  • Oh thank you for pointing out there are GOOD things about being a single mom.

    I rally love being a single mom…and can’t imagine having it any other way!

    Kathy  |  August 15th, 2008 at 12:22 pm

  • I agree with you on all the above. I love spending quality time with my son without having to worry about someone else not enjoying the activity we choose.

    We went to the water park last month with a friend of mine & her son. It was such an adventure. An adventure I never got to do when I was married.

    Tammy  |  August 15th, 2008 at 1:38 pm

  • Well, I`m not a single mom and I do love my husband, but I have to say, there are days when I seriously envy single moms! Here are a couple more for you:

    - You get to make your own discipline decisions without someone undermining you along the way.

    - You don`t have to try and figure out how to fit quality time with your man into your life around kids, work and everything else.

    I particularly like your “if we make a mess, we can leave it”, OH to be able to leave a mess sometimes! :D

    Genesis  |  August 15th, 2008 at 2:33 pm

  • How about this one (in addition to all of the above): I get to buy whatever I want for my kids without asking anyone first!

    I love being a single mom! Love it!

    SKL  |  August 15th, 2008 at 9:24 pm

  • Ooh Genesis, the discipline decisions thing is a great one. And yes, it is pretty cool to be able to buy my kid whatever I feel like buying him. It’s the freedom, in a lot of ways, isn’t it?

    Kristin  |  August 16th, 2008 at 11:44 am

  • BRAVO!

    Miranda  |  August 18th, 2008 at 1:45 pm

  • I love your insight. My favorite was #7. It is rare that people see how getting out of a angry and unhappy marriage is a positive thing. It does allow each person to love without the discord. That is such a great comment! And how true! We all need to think about that more often.

    Kim  |  August 19th, 2008 at 10:55 pm

  • Thank you for this. It is soooo easy to forget the good in your single situation.

    Angel Windley  |  August 21st, 2008 at 2:12 pm

  • It is always helpful to look on the bright side instead of dwelling on the negative. Being a single mom can be very rewarding.

    Karla  |  July 4th, 2009 at 4:47 pm

  • Hie Single Mom’s,
    I am a single mom to my beautiful daughter Owami. I take so much pleasure in providing and loving her. I also don’t fell the gap of not having a partner cause I think maybe it might spoil the bond. It’s not easy sometimes but I can only wish that everythings works out just fine. Every night as we go to bed I thank the almighty for her and every morning I look at her and say thank you. I hope you all feel that way about your kids.

    They are so precious and loving to us, we learn a lot from them.

    You know what … them the best way you can.
    Take care and be blessed.

    fadzi  |  May 20th, 2011 at 3:30 am