The last time I had a blood test, I was in my first trimester of pregnancy, pale and jittery. I remember sitting on the squeaky stool at the lab, in a sterile white room that smelled of cotton batting and hospital vinegar. I stared at the curiously ugly chart of the heart on the wall and pretended not to notice as the clinician yanked a giant blue elastic around my piteously fatskinny upper arm, making me feel instantly light headed. I tried to warn her of my affliction before the needle actually hit my skin (even writing about it makes me nauseous) but I opened my mouth too late and then, dear god: Code Horror! A gigantic skeleton-colored pregnant lady has passed out on the floor of the clinic. Because of a little needle.
Tomorrow, a nice lady is coming to my house to give me a needle. And I’m hoping I don’t pass out, but if I do, I’m sure she’ll just nudge me and prod me again: this is a mandatory needle, because I’m getting life insurance.
I contemplated a lot when I split up with my son’s father: loneliness in the evenings, sitting solo, forlorn in front of the blue flicker of late-night television. I thought of insane mornings of doing it all, every day, repeated calamity. I imagined swiped dinners and cold winter nights when I’d let Nolan stay up late, just to feel another human’s breath on my cheek beside me. I could handle shoveling walks, picking up dog poop, running the trash to the kerb.
What I didn’t contemplate were the hard decisions I’d be making solo: wills, insurance, education savings plans for my son. Earlier this year, spurred into action by the paranoia that festers every time I get on a plane for work, I wrote a comprehensive will. But then I realized: even if I do die en route to LA next week, my son wouldn’t be totally taken care of. I need life insurance, death insurance, absolute knowledge that my kid will be OK if I kick the bucket early.
It kills me to think of my son without me. But it kills me even more to think of him with nothing, not even hope. And so I’m going to breathe deep and when the nurse comes tomorrow, I’m sitting on the low couch.
I think it’s great that you’re thinking about how your son would be taken care of financially if you were to suddenly die.
As a young widowed mother, I know how important it is to make sure there is something if one or the other passes.
It cannot take the place of the loved one, but it can make things a little easier.
Maria | September 5th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
I understand completely where you’re coming from. I have found many things that, although I tried, just couldn’t prepare myself for until “that time” arose. Preparing a will, and life insurance, are two big ones. It’s really hard to make such important decisions alone. I have no relationship with my children’s father, so I talk these decisions over with my sister and brother-in-law. We may not always agree, but they love my children and want what is best for them, and can help me see the “big picture” when I otherwise might not. Hang in there.
BlapherMJ | September 5th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
Good for you for getting life insurance… I get it! (I signed up when my little girl was two).
But I didn’t need a blood test!… A blood test for life insurance? I vaguely recall needed a signature from a doctor?
Explain….
Single Mom Seeking | September 5th, 2008 at 4:56 pm
Single Mom Seeking — I think the blood test is to confirm that I am not addicted to hard drugs or cigarettes. I think it’s pretty standard with the kind of life insurance I’ve chosen.
Kristin D | September 5th, 2008 at 9:57 pm
I had to get a blood test as well. And give a urine sample. And be weighed. Awesome.
Good for you for thinking of the future!
Angella | September 5th, 2008 at 10:31 pm
I’m just surprised you got away with only one blood test during pregnancy. I’ve had at least four, and at one they took something like six vials of blood!
Leah | September 8th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
I’m with Leah. I’ve lost count of the many many times I had to have blood taken during pregnancy (and miscarriages, etc — that was part of it). I used to be a fainter — I always warned them ahead of time and usually they’d put me on an exam table instead of trying it with me sitting up.
I think the life insurance blood test is also to check health issues, too — HIV, cholesterol, sugar, etc.
We still haven’t assigned someone to look over our kids if we both die. We just.can’t.figure.out who would work. And I’m capable of a near-panic-attack by simply thinking about it. Good for you for taking care of business.
Jan | September 9th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Yes, I am in the process of doing the will and life insurance. Add to that the custody agreement where I have to think of every possible worst-case scenario, then protect myself and my son. Not easy and not fun, but necessary. However, think of all the decisions you do get to make alone and where you don’t have to consider someone’s input (which can sometimes cause disagreements.) There are pros and cons to every situation, so just focus on the pros!!!
Nicole | September 12th, 2008 at 9:50 pm