I’ve been missing in action from this space, struggling for several weeks with what I would write. This column is called Single Mom at Work, and it’s been a diary of my experiences of heartbreak, hope, balance, and the all-encompassing undercurrents of this life: happiness and stability.
When I started writing for Work It, Mom!, my little boy was just two years old. We spent our time mostly alone: on the beach searching for scuttling creatures, in the forest twirling in the rain and stomping mud soaked boots. Looking at the clouds in the air, searching for the future in a promising ray of light. I made dinner for him and ate the leftovers off his plate. My Mom took him while I did my business trips: exhausting day jaunts to San Francisco and LA when I’d leave the house at 4am and return near midnight, my Mom asleep on my couch and my still-wee boy entangled in his blankets, dreaming. I’d kiss his head and creep to my room and set my alarm for two hours later, when I needed to complete a freelance project. I supported the two of us with no financial aid from my son’s Father: it compelled, exhausted, and terrified me while simultaneously filling me with a kind of pride. I could do this, I was doing this, albeit sometimes barely.
About a year into a very solitary existence, and with semi-harsh prodding from my little brother, who predicted I’d end up circling the Walmart aisles with chocolate-stained jogging pants and disgruntled rollers in my hair if I didn’t get out of the house, already — I put my toe tentatively in the dating pool.
It sucked. One mildly insane man temporarily stole my Jeep and almost ran over an old lady in a road rage fury. Another professed his undying love after two dates. Others were nice but not for me. I focused again on work and home and my wide-eyed sidekick. We were happy. I decided: I could do this on my own. This life was rich, beautiful on its own. Without a man, we’d be fine. I had my little one, and he was enough. He was more than enough.
Those of you who read me elsewhere will know about Corey, the man who entered our lives four months ago and spontaneously changed everything. I was shocked, terrified, and elated to fall in love with him - something I’d always believed was impossible for me.
I was amazed at how I’d forgotten how much richer a shared life is, how everything difficult becomes less of a burden when it is shared. Corey is amazing with my son and in these last several months, has seamlessly woven into almost every component of our lives. Nothing in life is certain, but there is something deep inside me that seems to know that this is real and rare. We’re in this together, fully, and his help in everyday life means I can no longer call myself a Single Mom.
I guess this is a long way of saying - I’m no longer a Single Mom at Work. I’m in a committed relationship and therefore uncomfortable writing from the perspective of a woman doing it without a partner. In the next week, I’ll introduce a new columnist here at Single Mom at Work who can offer fresh perspective and a bird’s eye view of Single Working Motherhood in a whole new tone.
I want to say thank you for your comments and your support here. I may reappear with a different perspective and if you have any topics for me, feel free to leave me a comment or email me at anytime. I love to hear from you.