Single Mom at Work
with Karli Larson
The transition from stay-at-home mom to divorced-and-working-full-time mom can be challenging, and sometimes very lonely. Throw in a few cats, an ancient dog and one very brave boyfriend, and life gets downright crazy. Join me as I talk through my thoughts and struggles, my miscalculations and my triumphs. We're in this together, you and I.
When I'm not writing here you can find me over at work on the TisBest Philanthropy blog.
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“The job requires a lot of multi-tasking. Do you have experience in multi-tasking?”
I was just asked this at a job interview recently. I did not snort. I did not smirk. I did not sing, “I can bring home the bacon / fry it up in a pan / and never ever forget the woman I am.”
I simply said yes. Of course.
Employers all want multi-taskers. I have yet to meet an employer who is not looking for a great multi-tasker.
You’d think employers would be slavering over parents who have been out of the work force for a time, raising their kids. But most of us parents who have taken time out to stay home with the kids hesitate to mention our superior multi-tasking skills. I don’t know a parent who can’t multi-task. The minute you bring home the squalling infant and realize that you won’t be peeing for three years without simultaneously jiggling the creature on your lap, you learn the meaning of “multi-tasking.” The first time you are lean out of the shower, dripping, to find your shrieking offspring’s dropped pacifier under the bouncy seat, you realize you are multi-tasking for life. Faxing while using the credit card machine and answering a client’s irritated query? Ho, ho, ho. That’s Multi-tasking, Jr.
My multi-taking “aha!” moment: Try hammering nails into a wall for photographs while nursing an infant in a Baby Bjorn. Oh, yesssss. “I think I’ve got the hang of this,” I remember thinking. Now that I’m a single parent, I go back to that moment in time, for psychic strength, to remind myself that I can do this on my own. That I am stronger than I know.
What was it called before it was called “multi-tasking”? Caroline Ingalls, my hero, was the original multi-tasker. Girlfriend Caroline, she done done it all! Cooking, cleaning, taking care of the farm, homeschooling, building barns and houses, plowing the fields, sewing, mending, slaughtering chickens—yeah, Caroline definitely could have managed a credit-card machine while faxing an insurance form and handling a difficult client. I’d put my money on her, any day.
I ask you: What was your biggest “man, I’m good” multi-tasking moment, as a parent? Has your confidence grown or waned as a multi-tasker, upon becoming a single parent?
And: Do you find it a challenge to translate your multi-tasking life as a parent into skills that the working world recognizes?
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And don’t forget that Ms. Ingalls ALSO grated carrots for the butter churn during the winter, so the butter would be PRETTY. She didn’t just multi-task; she did it with style.
Fruitfly | March 10th, 2010 at 9:02 am
I’m not sure I’m a great multi-tasker at work, but at home, let’s just say I have about an hour a night with my 3-year-olds during which time I supervise homework, plan dinner, cook, serve, eat, clean, do laundry, catch up on how my kids’ days went, discipline, read, reinforce academics, teach self-care skills, make progress on long-term household projects, update my work colleagues, plan the evening’s work, and make my kids feel like I am enjoying every minute of this “family time.” Obviously I usually have several tasks going on at once. I’ve gotten pretty good at this, but to be honest, I don’t see it translating to work. Maybe my work (complex spreadsheets, composing documents, etc.) requires too much focus for multi-tasking.
SKL | March 10th, 2010 at 9:26 am
I LOVE that photo.
Even though I was a professional before I was a mother, I have been “at home” for most of the last 17 years. I fully expect to have to start my own business as I think most employers will not view me as an asset.
Momsy | March 10th, 2010 at 9:52 am
I was recently composing a cover letter (trying to re-enter the workforce) and ended with a paragraph about how the last five years as a stay-at-home mom had developed my skills, matured me, etc. I had a friend (who is not a parent) look over the letter and she was pretty adamant about me taking that part out, saying it was unprofessional. So I took her advice. But it frustrated me - does this time, where I have grown so much, been tested, been humbled, multi-tasked my a** off - not count? Is it just going to be a big gaping black hole on my resume?
amysue | March 10th, 2010 at 12:39 pm
Just a comment for amysue: The parents-who-work know you have those skills, and the non-parents won’t understand. Take it out.
spacegeek | March 11th, 2010 at 5:09 pm
My daughter has had massive nosebleeds since she was 2. I’ve gotten pretty good at holding her, holding a tissue to her nose, and doing something else like straightening up folding laundry.
Kristen | March 12th, 2010 at 11:52 am