Well, THAT happened.

“That” being vacationing with the girls, as a single mama. Crikey, it’s enough to make you miss the old days, no matter what the old days looked like. Neither woman nor man was meant to vacation with offspring as the sole caretaker—at least not for longer than three days.

I am single mama; hear me whimper. Or roar at my children as they lick the metal bar on the Tilt-a-Hurl.

They had a mostly good time. I think. When their mean mommy wasn’t yelling at them to come out of the pool, get closer to the lifeguard, stay out of the sun, eat at least one item outside of the Deep Fried food group.

I had a mostly exhausted time—with glimmers of goodness, moments of laughter, certainly. But I can’t shake the nagging feeling that I didn’t do enough, wasn’t the best mom I could be, wasn’t the mom they needed to have on vacation with them. That we needed this trip. That we didn’t need this trip. Conflicted emotions.

I like to think that time will scour off the rough edges of our memories of the trip, leaving behind only a sea glass glow.

Right now, though, I am very happy to be in an empty house, doing all the laundry from our vacation.

And musing over how to turn this post into anything remotely useful.

Here’s what I’ve come up with:

Single Mom at Work’s Top Five Tips for Vacationing Alone with Kids

1) Don’t bite off more than you can chew. That goes for the fried Twinkies and planned activities. Pare down. Plan less.

2) Don’t stay for a week when the kids and you might be just as happy—and more energized—with a three-day jaunt.

3) “Close” matters in horseshoes AND vacationing as a single parent with kids. It won’t be perfect. It was never going to be perfect. Tempers will flare, patience will drain plumb dry. But if they’re laughing at any point, while you’re laughing too, well…that’s close enough to a good vacation.

4) Expect less from yourself. It’s your vacation too. You don’t need to be the circus barker or the cruise director at all times. Insist on a nap…for you. Daily, if necessary. The children will live.

5) Keep a sense of humor. Humor is the lifeblood of vacationing with kids, and even more so when you’re going it alone. Breathe deep. Laugh. This too shall pass, and there will be a bath waiting at home…after you’ve dropped the kids off with the other parent once again. Whew.