with Karli Larson
The transition from stay-at-home mom to divorced-and-working-full-time mom can be challenging, and sometimes very lonely. Throw in a few cats, an ancient dog and one very brave boyfriend, and life gets downright crazy. Join me as I talk through my thoughts and struggles, my miscalculations and my triumphs. We're in this together, you and I.
When I'm not writing here you can find me over at work on the TisBest Philanthropy blog.
I chew my lip. This is the complicated stuff.
“I don’t know about that phrase anymore,” I say. “I think maybe we get a couple of really special loves in a lifetime.”
“Well,” she says, “at least now you’ve found your soulmate.”
I am stumped. She senses my hesitation. She watches my face.
“I don’t know about that word either,” I say.
“Why not?” she wants to know.
“For one thing,” I say slowly, “I used those terms to describe your dad, once.”
“That didn’t work out,” she says, “so he just wasn’t.”
Her perfunctory dismissal of what came before—a relationship that created her and her sister, a relationship that already she has begun to forget—cuts unexpectedly, deeply. She means no harm; in fact, she wants to do good, by assuring me that the now is far better than the then, for everyone concerned.
“I don’t know,” I tell her. “Maybe words like soulmate and love of your life just don’t tell the whole story, and when you’re young, you think they do.” I am scrabbling for words. We can both see I’m not going to be able to find them, not tonight.
“When I grow up, I’m going to marry the perfect person, so I never get divorced,” she proclaims. This is her Final Answer.
“I want that for you. I have some advice, though.”
“Maybe don’t look for the perfect person. Because nobody can be that. Maybe instead of looking for the perfect person, look for the perfectly imperfect person. Perfect for you, because their imperfections go well with yours.”
She nods. This makes a little sense, some, a bit.
I realize I have no idea how to teach her what I don’t understand myself.
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