The other night I was nursing my daughter and chatting with my husband. I joked with him that I’m not going to nurse the next baby because I love our oldest best. He laughed and said that I better nurse the next one. Breastfeeding has become part of our daily lives, and that’s a very happy thing in our family, because it almost didn’t turn out that way.

I read an old post on Alex Elliot’s Formula Fed and Flexible Parenting the other day that got under my skin. It was about the laws that are banning hospitals from sending unrequested samples of formula home with new moms. Alex Elliot’s argument was that it is wrong for states to pass this kind of law because it limits a mothers choice.

I whole-heartedly disagree with that argument. Especially because of the way that the law is written (stating that if the mother asks for formula that it can be given to her). Elliot’s argument makes no sense to me, because, like it or not, breastfeeding is a public health issue. I haven’t heard any complaints about hospitals pushing the practice of putting babies to sleep on their backs to reduce the incidence of SIDS. The government is involved in that campaign as well.

Arguments like Elliot’s get under my skin because it gives lip service to the fact that breast is best, but then says that it’s wrong to actually tell mothers that there are risks to feeding formula. I always find it funny on the news when there are stories that say that breastfeeding decreases risks of allergies, or decreases a mother’s risk for breast cancer. When I see those segments I’m hit with how our society has it all backwards. We use formula as the norm to compare everything else to, when it should be the other way around. I haven’t ever heard a news segment say that formula increases a baby’s risk for developing allergies, or that choosing not to breastfeed increases a mother’s risk for breast cancer, but if we treated breastfeeding as the norm that’s exactly what they would have to say.

So after reading Elliot’s post I stewed a bit. I wanted to just rant about how awful it was to be putting formula on a pedestal like that, etc. BUT, I wanted to get a little more insight into what others really think. That’s when I came across this post on Green and Clean Mom. As Colleen describes her story, my heart went out to her. I have no idea of the actual specifics of her case, but it sounds like her baby’s doctor hadn’t read the newest research showing that breastfeeding doesn’t cause jaundice, or that she could have given her baby everything that she pumped, and I don’t know what might have been causing her son to be fussy when he was at the breast, but it didn’t seem that her ability to produce milk was the problem.

It was a difficult story for me to read, because it honestly could have happened to me. I happen to have done tons of research on breastfeeding since having my daughter, and so I know from her story that she wasn’t getting the most accurate or up to date medical advice. And that exact same thing could have happened to me and I’m sure is happening to mothers all the time. I lucked out and was able to get exactly the info that I needed in that small window of time when breastfeeding needs to get off to a good start. I know so many mothers feel discouraged and judged when breastfeeding doesn’t work out. I can’t speak for all breastfeeding mothers, but I can say with all the sincerity in the world that while I support breastfeeding to the utmost, I don’t play the blame game when someone isn’t successful. I understand that many factors have to come together for a breastfeeding relationship to work out. It makes me sad when I hear that someone did not receive the help and support that they needed in order to establish breastfeeding, but that isn’t a reflection on how I feel about the mother. It’s a reflection on how breastfeeding has become an uphill battle in our society.

So, while I still don’t agree with Elliot’s argument, I don’t think it’s the most important argument to be making here. Making sure that pediatricians and nurses and lactation consultants are giving the mother the information she needs is so much more important than whether or not she goes home with a sample of formula (although research has shown that mothers who plan to breastfeed and who have formula in the house are less likely to attain a successful breastfeeding relationship).