Ahem,

May I please ask everyone who has been following the Nadya Suleman, the octuplets’ mom, saga to please come forward and show their face? Come on, I know I’m not the only one!

Okay, well even if I’m going to be the only one admitting to it these days, I get glued to the TV whenever something new about this woman comes out. When the babies were first born and the stuff about her being a single mother with six children already came out, I was outraged with the rest of the world. I don’t think it was responsible on her part to try for a seventh when she couldn’t take care of six on her own, but the babies are here, and so that’s pretty much a moot point.

I watched every minute of all of the Dr. Phil episodes about her (I know, I need to get a life). Like I said, my first feelings about this woman were disgust, and I was being pretty darn judgmental. She seemed like the kind of welfare mother that even liberals like myself could beat up on. I had some pretty strong words for the doctor that performed the invetro too. Did I hear someone just quack?

Anyway, I’m pretty much over all of that stuff. The babies are here, and they need care, and I’m definitely not one for advocating putting the kids in foster care. That sounds like a lose-lose for everybody…and plus, I’m not qualified to say that anyway.

Well, yesterday (okay and the day before, if I’m being honest) I watched the latest installment of this drama on Dr. Phil. It was all about Nadya firing the wrap around nursing care that donations were paying for. She’s been highly criticized in the media for this and I thought, when I first heard about it, for good reason.

Then I started really listening to this mother’s reasoning for firing these women. She had other care lined up, that she says is doing a better job. She felt uncomfortable with the original nursing staff. She felt that they were judging her and keeping her from spending time with her babies.

The nursing staff said that Nadya was very hands off with the children. That she was often doing other things…they mentioned shopping, and reading mail. They said that she was allowing sick people around the babies, etc.

I really started to feel for Nadya Suleman when I saw the nurses, and how much they disliked her personally. Maybe what they say about her is true and she doesn’t care about her kids, and she only wants fame, and she only talks to them and holds them when cameras are around. That’s very possible.

On the other hand, she could be a mom who made a bad decision to get pregnant again, and now she is trying her best to take care of 14 kids. I know one kid runs me ragged sometimes. I can’t even imagine the strain and stress that go along with having 14…by yourself.

I started thinking to myself all about different things that I do, that if the media wanted to spin, could possibly look really really awful. This week, my daughter was throwing tantrums and to the mix she added peeing on the carpet (on purpose) to her repertoire. All the parenting books say not to punish your kids for having accidents while they are potty training, but I definitely put her on time out for doing it purposefully.  If a tabloid heard this, they might scream child abuse, or whatever. All of this could be blown way out of proportion.

I’m one of those people that thinks that, in general, parents make pretty darn good decisions, and they really are the best ones to speak on behalf of a child’s best interests. So, if Nadya says she felt uncomfortable with those nurses, I don’t blame her for getting rid of them. I know that these particular nurses are trained specially to care for premature babies. I also know that I had a similar experience with these type of nurses, who cared for my daughter in the hospital following her birth. They did things that I consider to be unethical like suggesting that I not breastfeed, and limiting my time with my daughter.

Either way, I’m not judging this woman anymore. As far as I know, she is trying to figure out a way to keep their family afloat financially (which could explain her reasoning for all of the publicity), as well as through nurturing. I’m not part of their life, and I’m certainly not close enough to the situation to know if she made the right choice in getting those women out of her house. Although, I suspect that it isn’t in the best interest of children to be cared for by people that feel such strongly negative feelings about the only mother that they have in the world.

I basically only touched on the issues that the Dr. Phil stuff hit on, but if you want a more in depth look (and a much more heated response) I suggest you check out the Nadya Suleman post over at Thought for Food. I love the author’s point about “Total Transparency”…and I totally agree.

Do you have strong feelings about the “octomom”? Do you think there are implications for society at large if the public gets too involved with this family?