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(Cathie) Black Magic
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The bitch is in.
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I think you are an idiot.
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It's finally Friday. I'm free again.
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Every woman can justify the over-sized bags she carries with her every day. She needs her credit cards (sales!), she needs her lip gloss, her lipstick and her lip liner. She needs a translucent powder for midday touch-ups, and medical and dental cards (just in case).
She needs her wallet for holding latte money, change for the parking meter and her drivers license (just. in. case). She needs a pen or two or three - usually in varied colors. She needs a small package of tissues (runny nose season), wet hand wipes (KIDS!), a pad of paper and/or a journal. She needs space for her cell phone when it isn’t glued to her ear, spare earrings in case she loses one that should be glued to her ear and something to tie back her hair so you can see things dangle from her ear.
She needs a tweezers, nail clipper and at least one nail file. She needs unmentionables, a list of things to mention at an upcoming meeting and a pack of gum so as to avoid offending meeting participants.
She needs something to make her stink pretty (mmm…perfume), check her pretty (mirror, mirror) and fix her pretty (oil blotters anyone?).
Women, for as organized as they are, seem to consistently forget to have one very important accessory with them
EVERY
WHERE
THEY
GO.
I have categorized this post with “Climbing the ladder” although as the title suggests, I’m not entirely sure I climbed anything just yet.
I know some of you *coughs* Nataly *coughs* have noticed my absence here on Work It, Mom! in recent weeks. Others of you *coughs* Kate *coughs* were warned to expect precisely nothing from me asked to forgive me for excusing myself from a special project we were working on. I purposely did not share the details of where I have been until things shook out in full at the office but now, after several weeks of announcements, changes in roles and responsibilities and other varied communications it is safe to share with you some career news.
…drumroll, please….
Every week I end up with a collection of links and I always think I’ll present them here with a lovely post on the subject. The truth is that I typically post here once per week and rarely have time for more than that. And some weeks? I don’t even have time for one decent post.
So in the spirit of sharing things that I found interesting on the world wide internets (but do not have time to actually write lengthy commentary on) I now present a listing of interesting things I found whilst browsing my inbox and Google Reader recently.
IT Salary Survey: Not all technical certifications are created equal.
Master these 10 processes to sharpen your project management skills.
Tips to Spring clean your career.
Tuesdays are employees most productive days.
Know how much the other guy earns?
Have you read anything interesting on the web recently that you would like to share?
Earlier this week a Stole My Stapler reader named Caitlin commented on my Jesus post. That comment sparked an email exchange between us on which resulted in her closing one of her replies with what I have borrowed for the title of this post.
“I like to sound like I’m wise beyond my years, but really I’m just a cranky bitch.”
So fitting for this post. So very, very fitting.
Don’t be jealous.
It is Egg McMuffin AND popcorn day in my office.
One co-worker is making popcorn in our theater sized popcorn maker.
Another just brought in Egg McMuffins for the entire team.
What kind of goodies do you have in your office?
Today I had a completely random thought that went something like this:
How do I feel about religion in the workplace?
I quickly knew my answer:
Awhile ago I posted on the subject of professional certifications here on Who Stole My Stapler. I don’t have one and have never felt the need to get one in the past. While I am quite happy with my career (both where I’ve been and where I am) I have been starting to wonder if getting a certification in my area might be a good idea for where I want to be in the future.
I received some great feedback on my original post on the subject and based on those comments I dabbled around on the internet looking for more information about becoming a Certified Business Analyst Professional (CBAP). I have also done more generic research on the benefits of being certified. While it all made perfectly good sense to me none of the information I read pushed me over the edge to go after my certification.
That changed last week when my CEO pushed me over the edge.
Last week I received my first hate comment here on Who Stole My Stapler. After searching the internet for the “name” of the person that left the comment, I very quickly determined that this asshole makes a hobby out of leaving asshole comments that have little to nothing to do with the actual post.
So I deleted his comment.
I find it mildly disappointing that I can’t hit a delete key to magically erase other assholes from my life. Not that there are really all that many because I think I have really brushed up my skills in the department of detecting and ditching asshole types from my life. But sometimes you just cannot escape being in their presence. Sadly, assholes are everywhere. From the internet to our neighborhoods and even *gasp* our workplaces.
So what’s a girl to do when she wants an asshole-free existence? Who Stole My Stapler now presents….
Today I learned about a condition that seems to be afflicting my son called Testosterone Poisoning. It is the best explanation I can come up with besides the fact that we have had a completely effed up week and he is beyond tired because of it.
Because I have been so absorbed with my very emotional boy child this week I am mentally (and physically) quite drained which means I have exactly BUPKIS to offer you.
In the spirit of providing you something new and interesting to cast your eyes upon I now present to you…
::drumroll::
Anyone that reads this blog or my personal blog Kazoofus probably knows that my pet peeves change with dang near every breath I take. Just browse through the Who Stole My Stapler archives for proof of some of my workplace and career pet peeves.
I just read an article on Women’s Health Magazine that reminded me of something that I have a hard time comprehending: