Put on your protective head gear, goggles and ear plugs because Kathy Howe is about to rant. Before I do I should add this disclaimer: what I am going to write about has happened in both my personal and professional lives over the years. This isn’t something that only happens in corporate environments but let me tell you this: if you see yourself in this post:
I think you are an idiot.
There is a breed of people that I encounter from time to time that I have a hard time comprehending. I am, I think, a person that can get along with a wide range of people and I rarely pass judgment on people. I am certainly a fair-minded person and I rarely jump to conclusions about people, their circumstances, their background, experiences and whatnot. I consider myself an optimistic person looking for the best in everyone and everything. But there is this breed of people that likes to share every thought or idea they have with a statement like:
“You might think I am an idiot but I was just thinking [insert something here].”
“You might think this is really stupid but lately I am craving [insert food item here] and was wondering if you’d like to join me for [insert name of meal here].”
“I was working on this [insert work-related item here] and I know it is really bad but I was wondering if you would take a look at it and let me know what you think.”
Hello? You over there?
I. THINK. YOU. ARE. AN. IDIOT.
Why oh WHY do people do that? Why do people discredit their thoughts, their ideas, their knowledge, their experience, their HARD WORK with statements such as that? I don’t know if I hear these kinds of statements from people anymore than you do but to me, these statements that are riddled with a lack of confidence in ones intelligence, creativity or FEELINGS just absolutely BAFFLES me.
As much as I like to stick to what I said earlier and not pass judgment on people I have to tell you that if you tell me YOU think you are stupid with any sort of frequency, then I WILL THINK YOU ARE STUPID.
And that, my friends, is a KathyHowe guarantee.
If you see yourself in this post I would like to suggest one simple thing that maybe, just maybe, will help me forget that I think you are idiot. Just one tip is all you need:
- Stop referring to yourself as stupid.
This is especially important if you ever want someone to think you are smart.
People, I think, have very little patience for people that lack confidence or strike them as slower than the average bear. Displaying confidence in your work, ideas, knowledge and thoughts will not only make people MORE! INTERESTED! in being with you and working with you, it will also open the door to more experiences.
:: deep breaths ::
So there you have it. The rant. I can tell you quite honestly that most people that I would define as stupid have told me that they are stupid themselves.
Don’t be so quick to put yourself on my stupid list.
(Photo credit goes to me, myself and I. The story behind the photo is here.)
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