Anyone that reads this blog or my personal blog Kazoofus probably knows that my pet peeves change with dang near every breath I take. Just browse through the Who Stole My Stapler archives for proof of some of my workplace and career pet peeves.

I just read an article on Women’s Health Magazine that reminded me of something that I have a hard time comprehending:

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It is probably true for most people that all work and no play makes for one dreary existence. I am an extreme advocate of work/life balance for everyone. This is as important for people without children as it is for people with children. What I’m not prone to state, however, is what YOUR work/life balance should look like.

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I have a secret for you. Shhhhh…lean closer…listen carefully to what I am about to say.

Ready?

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I see a trend.

I talk to people online, in person and by phone daily. Some of my conversations are incredibly intimate and highly confidential. Some are a bit more relaxed. Some of these conversations are planned and some are impromptu but the one thing I am seeing in a lot of conversations these days is…

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I think everyone in my office is or has been sick within the last couple weeks. Apparently use of disinfectant and hand sanitizer is a no-no in locker rooms male dominated work spaces.

I’ve been thinking about my upcoming leave of absence. Hard to believe since it is just a few days away, huh? Anyhoo. I’m wondering how much the locker room is going to miss my lavender scented desk wipes, fragrant lotions and disruptive uproarious bursts of laughter. Probably not as much as they will miss listening to me blow my nose and sneeze this week.

They’re a sentimental bunch.

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A question I am frequently asked is how the hell I manage to get everything done as a single parent.  The reality is that becoming single all those years ago forced me to take a good hard look at my priorities and honestly, some things?

They don’t get done.

Well, at least not by me.

Being full-time in the workforce is a challenge for anyone that doesn’t have their co-parent home full or part-time.  Regardless of how many adults are under my roof I have the same number of things to accomplish as two-parent households have.

My lawn?  She needs to be mowed.

My driveway?  She needs to be plowed.

My house?  She requires cleaning.

My fridge?  I’ll be damned, she requires food.

If I have learned anything over the years (single or not) I have learned this: being a grown up requires mad skilz in the department of juggling multiple tasks at once.  Everything I know about GOOD project management I learned by becoming a single parent.

From risk mitigation to time management to delegating tasks, I was never a power house Project Manager until I had to run a household on my own.

I’ve always believed that having two adults in a household adds to the risk.  While on the surface one might assume that two are better than one but really, that extra adult is just one more person to eff up your system.  So for me, being the only adult to run the house lessens risk, eliminates chaos and requires less calls to 9-1-1 for domestics.

Juggling our personal life is always a challenge though.  Regardless of if we have a one adult household or a ten adult household.  There is always something that needs to be taken care of during those precious 9-5 hours.

The Tattooed Mommie recently wrote an article on the subject of getting our personal tasks taken care of during working hours.   I ran across her article today and I think she asks a question that we all want to find the answer to:

“How do we find that time to do those small but important tasks without having to rush ourselves through lunch, eating while driving back to the office or having to skip lunch all together (since that’s really bad for your metabolism) without getting fired?”

Do you have the answer?  How do you juggle your personal tasks that absolutely must be taken care of Monday thru Friday from 9-5?  Are you allowed comp time?  Do you work close to home?  Do you work in a downtown or part of town that makes it convenient to run errands during the lunch hour?

What types of tasks are you completing on company time?

Do tell…

As mother’s in the workforce you all surely know the song. Depending on the circumstances it could be a love song:

I’m preggers! YIPPEE!

Or a horror story:

I’ve been ordered to bed rest. BOO! HISS!

Or some other medical pain in your kazoofus:

I have to have uber special and ultra malfunctioning girl parts removed because they can’t seem to play nice with the rest of my innards. TSK! TSK!

There are many, many, songs, too many to list here, but it is inevitable that if you spend any significant amount of time in the workforce as an adult you will, at some point, need to take a leave of absence.

With the exception of birthing my children I have never taken an extended leave from the workplace but in about a week and a half I will be trading in my office attire for hospital gowns that get drafts up the backside. Now I have to confess that I am a big, gigantic baby and the idea of spending any time in a hospital makes me instantly itchy. I am also very much a control freak both in and out of the office so the idea of being in a position (mostly horizontal) that prohibits me from running the house and working on my assigned projects make my head hurt a wee tiny bit.

If you read my personal blog Kazoofus you know that I have secured the best possible line-up of support ever, both at home and in the office. I am 100% confident that the world will not stop spinning abruptly while I sleep through my drug-induced haze for a few days. I am absolutely certain that things will go without a hitch and maybe that is what concerns me.

Things.

Without me.

Will go.

Perfectly

*gasp*

FINE.

I have mixed feelings about my upcoming leave of absence.

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The following is a guest post written by someone who CLEARLY has more experience dealing with vendors than moi.

Her name is Kate Goodyear. She blogs at Neato Keen and is also an active member here on Work It, Mom. I will be posting my reaction to Kate’s guest post in the comments a bit later on.

Happy reading!!

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As an IT Project Manager in a rather large company, I very often find myself managing vendors who want to sell us their latest and greatest technology solution. The vendor dance usually starts off one of two ways, we call them or they call us. Either way, the sales people always tell you the same things:

• We have your best interests at heart, it won’t help us to sell you something that doesn’t work in your environment or that you don’t need.

• Our product can meet all of your requirements PLUS you can add on these modules if you decide you want added functionality later!

• Here! Have a pen/notebook/uselessgadgetwithourlogo for free!

• How about we take you to lunch/dinner after this contract meeting to celebrate?

Well, at least always take them up on free gadgets and food!

While they may all have the same goal – they don’t always go about it in the same manner. There are many different sales ‘methods’ that I have had the pleasure of observing:

The Pest: Calls/emails every other day to find out the ‘status’ of the selection process/project,

The Star: Figures they are going to be selected so can be unresponsive and never sticks to the outlined schedule by always submitting required information late

The Hopeful: Takes you to lunch/dinner as much as possible and tells you how great you and the company are and remind you that they will do ANYTHING you want if you buy their product

The Misguided: Tries to use ‘sales tactics’ like knowing personal things about clients, but goes about it all wrong – like sending an email to you and everyone whose card they happen to have picked up during the last visit to your company with things like “so didn’t you have a baby? How old is he/she? My kid just got over a nasty infection, can’t wait to see you! Anyway, about our product… “

Luckily you do run across the occasional sincere sales rep and it is a breath of fresh air. Though really, you never let your guard down – the goal is still the same – you need to find the best product for your company! As long as you can see through the tactics and truly research and evaluate the products fairly you will pick the best one for your company, and everyone (including the sales person) will reap the rewards of success!

Ever have one of those days where the B.S. (Brown Sugar) that you have received from everyone else is enough to make you want to seek out the nearest bell tower?

Yeah, me too.

I am typically really good at dealing with difficult personalities.  Whatever their character flaw may be, I can usually counterbalance it with little to no effort.  The problem is that every now and again I get TIRED of dealing with the cRaZiEs.

Welcome to Now and Again.  Would you like to supersize?

I’m not going to get into specifics about people I have dealt with recently.  Mostly because people that I deal with on a daily basis actually read these posts.  But I will give a high-level list of what I call:

Ways to drive KathyHowe batshit in the office:

(Note to co-workers: this is NOT meant to inspire).

1. Not replying to emails when it is made clear that ACTION is REQUIRED and you are given a HARD DEADLINE in the message.  If you can’t complete the task on time at least have the courtesy to REPLY WITH THAT INFORMATION!
2. Emailing my MANAGER’S MANAGER to tell on me when I don’t reply to your email marked as normal priority within five business hours.  If your message is urgent please flag it as such or pick up the dogdamn phone.
3. Spending 10 minutes bitching about doing a task that will take you 5 minutes to complete.  That is like good time management but totally different.
4. Doing my job for me.  I would be MORE than happy to stop attending project meetings if you would like to just handle everything, superstar.
5. You are more often the voice of the problem (if not the source of it) and you have nothing to offer in terms of a solution.

Now I know all of you had had the pleasure of working with difficult, challenging or otherwise asshole people.  Share your stories.  What drives YOU batshit?

 ::::drumroll::::

Ten reasons why working in the corporate world is great:

1. There are all kinds of people to blame when your stuff goes to hell.
2. Corporate politics can at times make having Bush in office seem like no big deal.
3. CEO’s have finally realized blogging is cool and are using it as a corporate communications tool.  Just wait until the year 2020 when they find out about Flickr!
4. Having co-workers means there is always someone around to cut the stray string off your sleeve for you.  No need to strip nekkid during meetings to do it yourself.
5. Birthday treats can happen darn near every week if you work on a large enough team.
6. At some point in your career a vendor will try to win your love with tickets to great seats at sporting events.  Do yourself a favor and play hard to get at least through the playoffs.
7. There are people to pick up the slack for you when you need to leave work for a few weeks to get your cervix razored out.
8. You get to introduce yourself to a new boss every 3 - 6 months.  Oh the joy of tooting your own horn with such regularity.
9. Free coffee!!  And sugar!!
10. So many people to prank.  So little time.

What are some things YOU like about working in a corporate environment?