Last week I received my first hate comment here on Who Stole My Stapler. After searching the internet for the “name” of the person that left the comment, I very quickly determined that this asshole makes a hobby out of leaving asshole comments that have little to nothing to do with the actual post.

So I deleted his comment.

I find it mildly disappointing that I can’t hit a delete key to magically erase other assholes from my life. Not that there are really all that many because I think I have really brushed up my skills in the department of detecting and ditching asshole types from my life. But sometimes you just cannot escape being in their presence. Sadly, assholes are everywhere. From the internet to our neighborhoods and even *gasp* our workplaces.

So what’s a girl to do when she wants an asshole-free existence? Who Stole My Stapler now presents….

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Today I learned about a condition that seems to be afflicting my son called Testosterone Poisoning. It is the best explanation I can come up with besides the fact that we have had a completely effed up week and he is beyond tired because of it.

Because I have been so absorbed with my very emotional boy child this week I am mentally (and physically) quite drained which means I have exactly BUPKIS to offer you.

In the spirit of providing you something new and interesting to cast your eyes upon I now present to you…

::drumroll::

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I think everyone in my office is or has been sick within the last couple weeks. Apparently use of disinfectant and hand sanitizer is a no-no in locker rooms male dominated work spaces.

I’ve been thinking about my upcoming leave of absence. Hard to believe since it is just a few days away, huh? Anyhoo. I’m wondering how much the locker room is going to miss my lavender scented desk wipes, fragrant lotions and disruptive uproarious bursts of laughter. Probably not as much as they will miss listening to me blow my nose and sneeze this week.

They’re a sentimental bunch.

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This could be another one of those posts that makes my head bobble off but lucky for you all, I am in my happy Friday place (no, no…I’m sober).

So the bobble-off-head version of me is out until Monday or so.

One of the tasks of most professional business days is the scheduling and/or attendance of meetings. Depending on your work environment these meetings could have any combination of the following:

1. Local participants in the same room.
2. Participants on conference call (speaker phone).
3. Participants logged into a web-based presentation.

I work for an international company so it is not uncommon for all three of these elements to be present for a meeting.

Regardless of HOW participants attend a meeting, I think that there are some very basic guidelines that the meeting chair and attendees should follow as much as possible.

1. Respect my time. As a meeting scheduler it is important for you to schedule meetings with the appropriate people. If you are unsure of whether or not I need to be in attendance have a conversation with me prior to the meeting.
2. Respect my time - part two. Start your meetings within five minutes of the scheduled start time. In my work environment it is common for individuals to have back to back meeting. I cannot reasonably leave a meeting at the top of the hour and get to another conference room on another floor at the exact same time. Give participants time to migrate between spaces but once that five minute mark hits - SHOW TIME!
3. Think outside of the box. Or in this case, think off the standard clock. I have a Director that schedules all meetings for 54 minutes. That allows individuals in HIS meeting to get out and to their next meeting on time. BRILLIANT.
4. Plan ahead. If you need a notetaker coordinate that prior to the meeting starts. Do not assume someone will arrive prepared to take notes for you.
5. Know your limits. It is next to impossible to Chair a meeting AND take meeting notes AND be effective. You can do two of the three, but not all three. I’ll let you decide which two you would prefer to do.
6. Don’t be a doofus. Respect the work culture of your international counterparts. If you don’t know the work style in their particular country study it. Do not assume anything. Do your home work.
7. Make your meetings all-inclusive. Make sure anyone that is dialed in via web-based conference or conference call feels as though they are truly a part of the meeting.
8. PREPARE AN AGENDA! PREPARE AN AGENDA! PREPARE AN AGENDA! Bonus points for sending it out with the original meeting invite so I know precisely what you want to discuss. Putting PROJECT NAME :: REQUIREMENTS Q&A in the subject line tells me bupkis. Give me some info so I can come to your meeting prepared.
9. Close the meeting with a recap of decisions made, action items and next steps.
10. Bring cookies. OK. This is a soft requirement. A total nice-to-have. But do keep this in mind: the atmosphere of your meetings is important. If you are a barky drill master the attendance of meeting invitees will reflect your level of assholetry.
11. Respect standard work hours. Meetings should not start at 8am or end at 5pm unless absolutely necessary. Respect the fact that people have lives outside of the office as much as possible. Truly, this is a challenge if not impossible when working with international counterparts but do be flexible and respectful AND appreciative when scheduling someones time outside of standard business hours.

That’s my quick list of meeting guidelines. What’s on yours?

About a week or so ago I received an email from a co-worker. Not that it matters much but this particular co-worker actually lives and works overseas. This is also a co-worker I have never heard of or met in my career with the company. The email I received from this person was the first time I ever knew this person existed.

I’m kind of fussy about leaving people with good impressions about me, myself and I. Regardless of what I may think of them, I try to temper any ill feelings and try to take the high road in all of my interactions. I have worked at jobs with hellish bosses and I have worked at jobs with hellish co-workers. I have worked in environments that were, for lack of a better word: hellish.

I know what it is like to have trouble getting out of bed because I hated my job THAT MUCH. I have been laid off by the same company THREE TIMES during my career. Oh yes, you read that right. Laid off three times by ONE company. I know what it feels like to be let go in a re-organization and to have my role classified as unnecessary and unimportant.

I’m not saying any of that feels good. Not the mean bully boss and not being told you are an unnecessary part of the organization. Regardless of that I do feel like it is important to always leave an employer with some tiny bit of grace.

The co-worker I mentioned at the top of this post didn’t do that. My first and likely only impression of this person was them sending an email communication (apparently to anyone and everyone in the company) that slapped management for letting them go and closed with personal contact information and a request for job leads.

I was a bit irritated to be on the receiving end of that message. First of all, I don’t know this person or their direct manager so I have no knowledge of their issues. Second, I think to exit with a letter of that tone (sent to anyone, not to mention an entire international staff) is unprofessional and immature.

If this person had issues that needed to be shared perhaps the Human Resources department would have been the appropriate avenue. For as complicated and stressful as some of my work environments have been, I have never felt like I was to the point where I needed to leave on such a sour note.

What are your thoughts on these types of exit letters?

Have you ever sent one and if so, what was the tone of the message?

If not, under what circumstances would you send something of that nature to your co-workers?

“I will never, ever, so help me GAWD, work with [fill in the blank] AGAIN!”

Feel free to fill in that blank with the name of an individual, a company, a department, client or vendor. Do it in your head though, please.

Lawsuits for slander are not welcome here.

Have you ever uttered words like that? An oath out loud or in your head that forever swears you off from professional interaction with a group or individual? Have you ever had those words come back to haunt you some time later?

In my professional career I have crossed paths repeatedly with professional contacts in the past. Off the top of my head I can name four people that I have worked with in different companies more than once in my life. Have you ever found people from your past in your current work environment? I can’t be the only one it happens to.

I can honestly say that while there are many people I hope to NEVER work with again (you know who you are) I know that there is always a chance that I will work with them again.

• A former, much loathed boss could be a client one day in the future.
• The co-worker that slashed my tires (don’t brag) could end up a representative at a vendor I need to interact with.

The world is small and the corporate world is even smaller. In my mind it is important that I never burn any bridge with anyone ever.

This doesn’t mean I play kiss-up to people I dislike (they know who they are). What it means is that I caretake my professional network and more importantly, my professional image. I always professionally deal with any and all personality conflicts to the best of my ability in the workplace.

Everyone has dealt with difficult personalities in the workplace. You cannot reasonably go through your life expecting to actually LIKE everyone.

How do you deal with difficult individuals?

How do you manage relationships with departments, vendors and clients that push you over the edge?

Do you have a secret recipe for dealing with difficult people?

Have you ever encountered someone from your past in a work environment? Particularly, someone you didn’t care for. How did you deal with it?

Some of you may not know this but I am the grandmother of blogging. Not to be confused with the FAIRY grandmother of blogging. That is someone else.

My personal weblog, Kazoofus, is approaching its 6th birthday. In blog years that translates to a billion years old.

One of the things I have never done with Kazoofus is try to make it a big secret from people I know in my day to day life. That said I’m not walking into the office in Kazoofus attire advertising my internet hobby either. There is something to be said for discretion.

*coughs*

Blogging very publicly (google my name and see where it lands you) has its challenges and I learned that very early on in my blogging career. I also came up with a few very basic rules for myself with my blog. I think following these rules has helped me with personal and professional relationships and since I’ve never been fired for blogging, I’m gonna guess that I might be onto something.

The rules:

1. Be discreet. That doesn’t mean you should never mention your cervix issues in a public forum. What it means is do what you can to protect the privacy of those you blog about. Related to this be very careful about what you reveal about the company you work for. Company confidential means COMPANY CONFIDENTIAL.
2. MYOB. Do not blog about things that are really none of your business in the first place. Also do not write about people in your day-to-day life as if they cannot read. I don’t care how clever you think you have been about hiding your online identity, the more you blog, the more likely you are to be discovered. Murphy’s Law states that all personal and professional contacts must read the one post you want them to read the least.
3. Be courteous. Gentle ribbings are absolutely acceptable with the right good natured co-worker. Ripping the supply clerk a new one via a public forum because they gave you a blue stapler in error is not gentle ribbing. When in doubt save draft. If still in doubt, ask an unbiased friend or family member how they think the post will be received.
4. SMILE! You are on THE INTERNET! It is a big WWW and you just never know who might be reading. What image do you want to project of yourself to the world? Caretake that image. Negative Nellies need not apply.
5. Be yourself. If you are cheeky and fun in the office your online persona should match that. The internet is not the place that an employer should discover that you have a dark side.
6. Avoid blogging during business hours. I’m not saying NEVER blog during business hours but avoid it as much as possible. Respect that they pay you to work not play.
7. Respect company policies. There are companies that ask employees to not maintain personal blogs that discuss their work life. They clearly state such rules in their policies and procedures handbook. Know what your companies policies are and respect them in and out of the office. Talking smack about a co-worker after business hours on the internet may still be considered harrassment and may very well cost you your job.

This is not an all-inclusive list. I’m sure once I hit publish I’ll think of three more things to add to the list. But what I want to know is what are your rules for blogging? How has maintaining a personal blog helped or hurt your career?

Discuss…