This morning, while my five-year-old was eating breakfast, we had the same conversation we have had every day for two weeks.

Me: So what are you going to be for Halloween?

Him: Ummm…I don’t know.

Me: A cowboy? A ninja? The Flash? A knight? (These are all things we have in our costume basket right now, and thus are easy peasy to put together.)

Him: No. No. Ummm…no.

Me: [Heavy sigh.]

Him: Can I have some more Honeycomb?

Here’s how Halloween will go at my house: my son will wait until bedtime on October 29th, if I am lucky, and then declare, “I want to be [insert complicated thing that requires shopping and/or sewing]. Can you get that for me?” At that point, my head will explode, which will be in keeping with the whole Creepy Halloween thing my kids are so into these days. And then I will be forced to buy him an overpriced polyester suit from the SuperTarget, like I’ve done every other year, and a little more of my heart will die.

Because seriously, kid, how about being something more interesting than a Mass Produced Ninja?

Maybe you are more on the ball than I am, but probably not. Fortunately, the Internet is chock full of good costume ideas for cheap; some of them are incredibly simple, while others require a little planning and some crafty skills (I will probably not be making those costumes, but YOU might!).

marthastewart.com

Martha Stewart walks you through this snappy lobster costume (get it? SNAPPY, as in spiffy and SNAPPY as in claws? that Martha is SO FUNNY). Martha promises that only the claws and skirt require sewing, which still means this is a NO for me, but maybe you’re not so thread challenged (I paid someone to put the patches on my son’s Cub Scout uniform — oh yes I did).

cookiemag.com

You all know that I am ALL about shopping your closet, right? Well you can shop your closet for the kids’ Halloween costumes, too! (No sewing required!) Cookie magazine has a terrific list of handmade Halloween costumes, and by “handmade” they mean “assembled from junk you already have laying around the house,” which is totally my speed. And seriously, how cute is the “cotton candy” up there? See her — the baby in the pink batting? I could eat her up. They also have this terrific list of costume ideas that don’t require ANY effort on your part, not so much as a glue gun or paint, even! Perfect.

[digression] Cookie magazine is currently running a contest where you can vote for your favorite style-savvy kids. Go here to vote, and to see what real kids are really wearing.[/digression]

Finally, think about about Halloween as the PERFECT opportunity to clean out YOUR closet, and pass along the reject pieces to the kids for dress up clothes. Those black pants that don’t button? Perfect pirate pants. That blouse that constantly pulls across the boobs? A dress shirt for a pretend doctor. I keep two big baskets full of dress up clothes in our playroom, and my kids are constantly showing up for play dates and family dinner in super hero capes and knights helmets. Dressing up is fun, and it doesn’t have to include mass marketed polyester costumes.

Although that’s probably what I will end up getting for my son. Or maybe he can be a lobster this year…

Coming next week: the Halloween office party. Your chance to wear flip flops to work!