Now that you’ve got your kids all costumed (update: my son STILL hasn’t decided what to be, OF COURSE), it’s time to think about what YOU will wear for Halloween. I am a party pooper who does not think that it is appropriate to wear a costume to the office (sorry — I also don’t think my kids need to spend the school day dressed up, and fortunately their school agrees with me). When you are at work you are WORKING, and just like flip flops and board shorts, Halloween costumes have no real place at work.

However, with all that said, I know that at least one of you is going to say, “But EVERYONE in my office dresses up, even my boss!” Fine then, let’s talk about what to wear to the office Halloween party.

For the regular work day, I am hesitant to sanction actual dressing up (see above, re: YOU ARE WORKING). But if your office is a Fun Place where people dress up, think about coming as something creative but work appropriate. No excessive cleavage, no visible underwear, no Britney Spears at the VMAs. If you REALLY want, you could be a lifeguard and wear your flip flops and board shorts to the office.

(That’s a joke, you all. Because I’m usually all NO FILP FLOPS AT WORK. Get it?)

What about the after work office party? Keep in mind that these are your coworkers; just like dunking your head in the egg nog at the holiday party is frowned upon, showing up as, well, Britney Spears at the VMAs is probably still not appropriate. But be creative — go for something pun-y (one year, my husband was the Old Man and the Sea; he wore a fisherman’s sweater and cap and a gray beard, and carried a pretend fishing pole with a giant cardboard C attached to the line). Or be something topical (have you seen those rubber masks of Rudy Giuliani and Hilary Clinton?). Or something subtle (any member of the cast of The Office). Go with a costume that you can easily change into after work, particularly if you won’t be going home (black pants suit and the Hilary mask, for example — and if you really wanted to spice it up, you could carry around a tray of cookies, or a copy of Bill’s book, or a navy blue dress with at little schmutz on the front, just depending on your office climate).

Finally, if your Halloween festivities will be contained to people who are NOT writing performance reviews for you (or people whose performance reviews YOU are not writing), you should feel free to crazy. My favorite costumes right now are Whiskey Marie’s Valley of the Dolls Nine Months Pregnant get up, and Shana’s Dog the Bounty Hunter duo (which requires both extreme cleavage, real or otherwise, and your spouse’s participation to really work). Because you’ve GOT to love costumes that come from your closet. And really, in the end, if you’re going to dress up, you might as well go all out.

And, if you were so inclined, you could even be Britney Spears at the VMAs. Just not at the office. Please.