Someone (I’m sorry, I can’t remember who just now because I am STILL SICK and apparently my brain has rotted from all the coughing) e-mailed me recently to ask about hair. I don’t usually give hair advice, because frankly, I’m not very good with hair, but I’m going to take this on because I am feeling daring.

And because my brain has been damaged by TWO WEEKS OF HACKING COUGH.

First of all, let me tell you that if you REALLY want good hair advice, you’re in the wrong place; you need to get yourself on over to Whoorl for Hair Thursdays. Please note that Hair Thursday is booked through fall of this year, but you can still learn a lot from reading about OTHER girls and their hair.

Also, Sarah is totally funny. And the woman knows her hair. And yours! Which is a huge help.

I can, however, offer some basic suggestions about how to find a style, just not about SPECIFIC styles. Start by assessing, honestly — ruthlessly, even — the following:

1. What is your hair’s texture? Curly? Straight? Thick? Thin? Be honest — wanting straight hair will NOT change the curl in the back. If you have a hard time assessing your hair, ask someone else to help.

2. How much time are you REALLY willing and able to spend styling every day? If you are already having a tough time getting out the door, adding twenty minutes of blow drying is foolish. Are you good with a pony tail three days a week? Or do you long for something more elaborate every day? Again, be honest. Honest!

3. How much other maintenance are you willing to do? Cuts every four weeks, or every eight? Color or no color? BE HONEST.

The deal is this: when you are choosing a style, think carefully about what it will entail in terms of maintenance, both daily and monthly. Choose a style that fits your face AND your life, otherwise you will look like someone who needs — well, a new style.

How do you find a style? I like to flip through those hair magazines when I’m at the bookstore with my kids; I also like fashion magazines (I have been known to buy an ENTIRE Vogue for ONE photo of Michelle Williams’ short crop). Having a photo will help you talk to the stylist, but keep in mind that you want to look for women who look similar to you, at least in the shape and size of their features. Queen Latifah would look silly with Winonoa Ryder’s pixie cut, for example. I’m just saying.

How do you find a stylist? I stop women all the time and ask where they get their hair cut. I’ve been doing this a lot lately because I am between stylists (again). Oh sure, it embarrasses my kids to NO end, but what are moms for, really?

Let’s talk about length, which always gets people riled up (and THAT is my goal, of course). The conventional wisdom is that long hair is for young women, and that those of us who are closer to 40 than any other birthday should really think hard about any hair style that falls past our shoulders. I happen to agree with this; I think that very long hair on a woman my age can make her look like she’s trying too hard. Unless she is very youthful looking, in which case it will just look pretty. See the dilemma?

Short hair is great as we get older, but not for every face; very very short cuts are best for girls with petite features, and for women who don’t mind everyone seeing ALL the lines and wrinkles. Going short means that ALL the focus is on your face — are you ready for that?

Color can also age you, if it’s not done well. Think about toning down the blonde highlights as you get older; opt for something softer and more subtle. It’s okay to look your age, I promise; trying to look too young will only make you look old.

Who else has hair tips? And who wants to tell me what to do with MY hair next week? Because I’m having someone TOTALLY NEW cut and color it! Woo!

Let’s just hope I’m not still coughing.