The following post is from the archives of Friday Style.

I went to a swank cocktail party over the weekend; the invitation specified that the attire was “after five.” When my friend Molly called to invite me, she said, “I don’t know about your house, but at my house, after five usually means pajamas.”

“After five” is not a style concept that most of us do very often, and when we are compelled to get our party duds on and go out, we often panic. In the last week, I have gone to a funeral, a ladies’ luncheon, and a cocktail party, none of which are part of my typical weekday events calendar. How do you know what to wear? Easy.

Don’t over do it. I wore a string of gigantic pearls on Saturday night; because they were so huge, I skipped earrings. You can also pair a very fancy piece with something more mundane, for more balance. My favorite outfit at this cocktail party was a beautiful copper-colored sequined skirt with a little tulle hem, paired with a basic brown twin set and a pair of low-heeled bronze pumps. Simple but elegant, and totally appropriate.

Emphasize your assets. BUT be sure to look at the ENTIRE picture, not just at that one fabulous part of your body or outfit. Let’s say you are curvy and have great legs; a turtleneck dress may show off your gams, but it will also make your head look like it is resting directly on your boobs. Guess what people will notice? Hint: not your legs. A better choice would be a wrap dress, something that shows off your legs AND makes the most of your cleavage.

Act (and dress) your age. What is appropriate on someone who is 20 will not work on someone who is 40; instead, you will look like a 40-year-old woman dressed up like a college student. How do you know what’s appropriate for your age? Look at what other women–celebrities and real people–your age are wearing. Keep in mind that miniskirts are for VERY YOUNG women, and that the little black dress is appropriate for everyone.

Be yourself. While the idea of the complete transformation is seductive, keep in mind that any drastically new thing you do may wind up making you feel uncomfortable rather than beautiful. If you’re not someone who wears a lot of makeup, you don’t need a full face to go out; mascara and lip gloss are plenty. Heels make you miserable? Chose a beautiful flat or a very low heel. You want to enjoy the party, not spend the whole evening worrying about your dress slipping down or your eyelashes falling off. The most beautiful women are the ones who are clearly comfortable in their skin AND their clothes, are who are fully engaged with the world around them.

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