with Susan Wagner
The Working Closet is your source for the best of what's hip and fresh in fashion and beauty. Susan Wagner keeps you up-to-date on trends and offers tips and tricks for making everything in your closet truly work for you.
You can also catch Susan over at Working Closet.
“I mean, you see how picky I am about my shoes, and they only go on my feet.”
- Cher Horowitz, “Clueless“
So I tried the thong. And it was … uncomfortable. I wound up returning one of the two that I bought last week (don’t worry, I only returned the one that I did not wear) because I cannot see this becoming a staple of my lingerie wardrobe.
Which is unfortunate because I have about a half dozen pairs of pants that could really benefit from a thong. Or something similar.
GAP 1969 lightweight corduroy leggings, $59.95 — hello, VPL!
I really wanted the thong to work, but I just can’t do it. It was awkward to wear — I wasn’t sure I had it on right, for one thing, and it’s not like I could call Rita and say, “Hey, run over here and tell me if this looks like it’s straight.” I mean, we’re close and all but … no one is that close. At least not in my neighborhood.
I was also totally conscious of the thong every single second that I had it on. In fact, I felt a little like I was holding my breath all day, afraid to move because if I did something might go wrong with the thong. I don’t know what I thought would happen, but the mere possibility made me super nervous. I’m pretty sure my backside did look better in the thong but only because I had my butt clenched all day. It was exhausting.
And then there’s the issue of my backside, and of how exposed I felt in the thong. I’m slim and toned, but the knowledge that my derriere was just … hanging out there, with nothing between it and my pants, was a little off-putting for me. My 43-year-old tush is in good shape, but it needs some support. The thong left me feeling like I was mooning the world, which was a little distracting. Ok, a lot distracting.
I’m researching boy shorts now — I’m thinking that may be the most practical alternative. I’m hearing good things about the GAP’s sexy lace girl shorts (again with the sexy! can’t I just cover my bum without being sexy?) — do any of you wear these? Let’s hear about them — or about whatever else you’ve got on under your pants.
Speaking of which, here’s one last thing that is baffling me: some of you confessed to going commando to avoid the VPL. While I can see how this would work, I cannot for the life of me see how it would be comfortable to skip the undies all together. Sure, you avoid the wedgie, but isn’t there a certain amount of chafing? Going commando also seems a bit unsanitary — what do you do about dry clean only pants, for example? Dry clean them after every wearing? That seems like a lot of hassle, and a lot of money.
Then again, I’m the girl who only wears a pair of jeans once before I launder them because the stretched-out knees bother me too much. I have issues. In case you haven’t noticed.
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