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Just say NO to embellished jeans

Categories: bottoms


I love a little bling; I’m all about wearing sequins for the school drop and piling on the necklaces for a grocery store run. But I am baffled by the ongoing popularity of embellished jeans.

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Unless you are an actual rodeo queen, you do not need all that going on behind you. And if you are an actual rodeo queen, I have to wonder if it’s really comfortable to ride a horse with your backside all bedazzled like that.

Let’s go in for a closer look, shall we?

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Here’s the thing about jeans with any sort of embellishment on the back pockets: your eye is drawn immediately to that spot, always. It’s the same principle as wearing a statement necklace or a striking pair of earrings or, heck, a tiara — we look at the sparkly stuff. But in this case, the sparkly stuff is on your derriere. Which means that’s where everyone is looking.

If you’re Pippa Middleton, that’s fine. The rest of us, though, would probably prefer that people look us in the face and not gaze at our bums.

Rhinestones, like flap pockets, inevitably make your tush look bigger, and while I know there are girls who lament their pancake bottoms, most of us are trying to play down the junk in our trunks. Blinging out your backside is not the way to do that.

So please, women of America, stop with the bedazzled jeans — and, while I’m at it, get rid of those sweat pants with the writing across the backside. Give your bum the respect it deserves and cover it with a pair of properly fitting, plain-pocket jeans — and save the glitz for your top half.

Are embellished jeans a trend where you live, or is this specific to the Great State of Oklahoma (and our neighbor Texas, and probably Arkansas as well)?

Miss Me Jeans, $109 at Macy’s

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13 comments so far...

  • So love this post! I live in Texas and there’s a lot of this booty-bling going on….mostly by backsides that don’t need to be spotlighted.

    Courtney  |  January 27th, 2012 at 7:30 am

  • Thank you!!!! I see these all the time. (I’m in Texas.) The people wearing them are stay at home moms in their late 20’s and 30’s, not rodeo queens or celebrities. (although I will admit, most of them have small bums.) But I don’t get it. I wore a sparkly necklace over a t-shirt yesterday because that’s where sparkles belong. No sparkly bum for me, thanks.

    Robin  |  January 27th, 2012 at 7:50 am

  • OH I SOOOOO AGREE! I see woman my age (40) and well over wearing all that “attention” on their butts and I think…..Really?! Grow up! I have a pancake arse and do not want attention here! I especially love the mom’s and daughters each wearing matching PINK sweats. Stop it now! Love this post! : )

    Tricia A  |  January 27th, 2012 at 8:46 am

  • Also in Texas, but thankfully have not seen any woman wearing a blinged out bottom. I’m sure I’ve just jinxed myself and will now see them everwhere.

    As an aside, my husband left his coffee cup out and my girls blinged it out. Those suckers have stayed on through at least 40 dishwasher runs!

    elz  |  January 27th, 2012 at 8:53 am

  • I’ll admit, I was as skeptical of anyone when I first saw the embellished jeans. However, I tried a pair on and my husband was like, “Wow.” I’m not small by any means - I’m a size 14-16, but I’m short. I guess maybe they balance me out, because every time I wear them (I now own two pairs), I get compliments, as in, “You look really good today.” Maybe it’s the equivalent of a tiara on your a** (LOL), but if the compliments keep coming, I’ll keep the two pairs I own. I guess my butt just likes getting dressed up sometimes.

    Rotten  |  January 27th, 2012 at 9:02 am

  • Honestly, I think a lot of jeans with some bling are really cute. As long as it isn’t over the top. They look great with heels. I’m over 40 as well and enjoy wearing a pair now and then. Nothing wrong with them in my book.

    Have to agree with the writing on bottoms though. Especially on little girls. What are people thinking?

    Jacmo  |  January 27th, 2012 at 12:34 pm

  • I am a 36 year-old high school teacher and mom of two, and I will admit that I too own a pair. They are Seven brand and I think they are tasteful rather than overly blingey. I feel good about wearing them - especially in my role as a high school teacher; I do try to be stylish in that role since the girls and I bond over fashion :) Oh, and I live in a suburb of Kansas City, where I see a fair amount of embellished jeans but less than I saw a year or two ago now that I think about it. Love ya, Susan, despite our disagreement over this issue!

    Amy  |  January 27th, 2012 at 12:56 pm

  • Oh, I wish to add that I only wear jeans to teach school on Fridays. I dress more professionally the other 4 days of the week.

    Amy  |  January 27th, 2012 at 1:43 pm

  • Completely agree….from Texas. See them all the time but mainly the younger crowd. Although do see older women wearing them with big puffy blonde hairdos and lots of bling everywhere else too.
    Trying to recapture their youth I guess!Michelle

    Michelle  |  January 29th, 2012 at 6:25 pm

  • This is your first piece of fashion advice that I disagree with! I am a transplant to Texas, and while I am generally not into the “country” look, I love, love, love Miss Me jeans! I think they look good on almost everyone!

    Carole  |  January 30th, 2012 at 8:22 pm

  • I too disagree with this one. I’m 33, living in Texas, and own 3 of the Miss Me brand jeans. I held out forever thinking the same thing about them looking ridiculous. Then I tried on a pair! Not all of them have extreme bling on the butt. They are very well made, and flatter my nonexistent rear. I get compliments every time I wear them. I agree that maybe they are only for a certain age group. They are definitely a trend, but so is colored denim. I’ve seen WAY more colored skinny jeans on people that make me cringe than the embellished denim :)

    Heather  |  February 3rd, 2012 at 7:51 am

  • Stop. Just stop. I’m in Utah this is a nation-wide epidemic similar to the biker shorts debacle of the nineties. Please, let’s learn something form history. I’m constantly seeing these on the the women I call the “hard and shinies”, basically barbie caricatures. I hate to be harsh but, they look ridiculous. Leave this look to toddlers and the pre-teens.

    Ivie  |  February 8th, 2012 at 11:38 am

  • Disagree- if you have a good butt, that is small and you are looking to create definition (like me) they are perfect. For those of us who work hard on our figures and wish we even had more booty, they are the best option. If the rest of your outfit is understated, then it can look really sophisticated.

    Sam  |  February 8th, 2012 at 2:26 pm