Much of the nine months of this gestation (and before) was spent listening to advice, collecting stories, cataloging the wisdom of my elders (and youngers), and then figuring out what worked best for me, particularly when it came to “must-have” pregnancy products. Now that I’ve nearly earned my own been-there-done-that merit badge, however, I finally feel qualified to share a thing or two about what I’ve learned–despite the fact that perhaps the most stand-out lesson of all is that not everything works for everybody. Nevertheless, here’s what worked for me (and might for you too): Read the rest of this entry »

What follows is the last and final installment of “The Hidden Costs of Having a Baby.” (Here are Parts 1 and 2.) After this, you’ll be glad to know, we can move on to more pleasant and exciting things like, oh, actually having the baby! (At my doctor appointment last Wednesday, I was told the baby had dropped into position and was, at 35 weeks, already RIGHT THERE and showing little chance in making it to his due date! So…wow! Yikes! Let’s get this taken care of and move on to the fun stuff, eh?)

Without further ado, the last and most heinous Hidden Cost of Having a Baby is, dun dun DUUUUUN…
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In light of the ragged economy, the rising cost of living, and all the ballot measures that promise to add hundreds and hundreds of dollars to our already astronomical property tax bill, the last thing I want to do is obsess over the expense of bringing a child into the world and then supporting him for eighteen-plus years. Alas, the only way out is through, and it’s better to be prepared than caught unawares by the collection agency, especially if the agent dares ring the doorbell while the baby is napping.

Last week in Part 1 of “The Hidden Costs of Having a Baby,” I wrote about maternity leave, the first major expense for working mothers, and today I’ll tackle Part 2, an expense that, long after your maternity leave is up, will continue to affect your bank account—and perhaps your entire working-mom lifestyle—for years to come. You might have always thought of yourself as a designer-diaper-bag girl at heart, but maybe this reality check will make you reconsider using that oversized tote you already have in your closet. Read the rest of this entry »

You guys have given me a lot of good advice over the past few weeks. Now it’s my turn to pay it forward.

A reader at another site I contribute to recently posed the question “How much does it cost to have a baby?” At first it sounded like a pretty innocent and straightforward query, with an answer dependent mostly on whether your taste and budget tends toward the hand-me-down umbrella stroller or latest-model Bugaboo, the backpack-as-diaper bag versus this season’s hottest pattern by Petunia Picklebottom. Not so. Read the rest of this entry »

As I wind down and wrap up my work in the office before maternity leave,* I’m relishing the daily excuse to spend a few minutes here and there to simplify and declutter my space. I’m purging old files, organizing the keepers, and reassessing how much crap I really need to have on my desk at any given time. (Pencils: yes. Rainbow slinky: no.) It’s not nesting, per se, but it has a similar vibe; I’m cleaning out virtual instead of literal cobwebs, applying some metaphorical elbow grease to long-neglected messes, and trying to impose as much order as I can before things get really chaotic. Read the rest of this entry »

Managers have already started taking projects away from me, coworkers are asking to be taught parts of my job, and although it’s been a month since I moved into my new office, I still haven’t unboxed any personal items because, before I know it, someone else (probably an intern) will be sitting at my desk all day while I’m at home with an infant, and why should anyone have to stare at pictures of my cats all day, especially when they’re not being paid? With six weeks to go before maternity leave, I’m already being phased out.

They can’t completely get rid of me, though (bwahaha), because my rock-solid, non-negotiable plan is to return to the office part-time next spring (I have to return next spring—financial crisis, mortgage payments, cost of childcare, blah blah blah), and because I don’t want to lose my mojo completely, I’ve latched on to this crazy notion that I’ll stay in regular contact with my company while I’m away, whether they like it or not. Read the rest of this entry »

It’s official: I’ve entered the Uncomfortable Stage of pregnancy. After breezing through the first and second trimesters with (nearly) nary a whimper, the third trimester dawned with a triumverate of complaints: my back hurts, my ribs hurt, and I have to remain in a locked and upright position for two hours after a meal or else be destined to taste it all again, if you know what I mean.

At work, the staying-upright part is pretty easy, mostly due to the fact that no one has yet installed the hammock I’ve been requesting for years only half-jokingly, but the other two ailments—the back and rib pain—are causing me quite a bit of trouble. Read the rest of this entry »

My mom asked last night if we had signed up for our childbirth classes yet. “We don’t need that crap,” I said, “and especially not for two hundred dollars.” “Two hundred dollars?!” she said. “Why, in my day…” and thus began another walk down memory lane that ended with my being born, my mom saying, “Look! It’s a real baby!” and my dad saying, “Huh? Uh-huh. Lots of hair.” I don’t remember what I said but I imagine there were histrionics.

Truth be told, whether or not I would take a childbirth class was never about the money. (Although don’t you find it’s getting increasingly easy to fall back on the “it’s too expensive” excuse for anything and everything in this age of crashing markets and an economy receding faster than Michael Bolton’s hairline? Simply substitute “I don’t want to” with “I can’t afford it” and voila, you are excused!) What it really comes down to, though, is that I think childbirth classes would be, for us, a waste of time. Read the rest of this entry »

As youngsters, college students, and workforce employees, we often look for mentors—strong, successful colleagues or higher-ups (who may or may not be women) that not only serve as up-on-a-pedestal role models but as down-to-earth partners who, if we’re lucky, actively participate in our own development into strong and successful adults. We admire these people for their achievements, wonder how they do it all, and then (if we know what’s good for us) dare ask the questions “How do you do it all?” and “How can I do it all too?” If we’re lucky, they take us under a wing and share their secrets. Read the rest of this entry »

Distracted. Forgetful. Absentminded. Scattered. Careless. Long before you start losing your waistline and right around the time you start losing your lunch, one of the symptoms of pregnancy can feel a lot like losing your mind. Chalk it up to hormones or fatigue or simply the all-consuming all-baby-all-the-time fixation on all things gestational (which I’m inclined to blame on biological instinct), but it’s no doubt that the new kid in town—your baby—is taking up a fair amount of mental real estate, space that was previously devoted to things like making important meetings, meeting important deadlines, and remembering to brush your teeth before leaving the house.
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